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🇰🇷When 2 Worlds Meet🇺🇲

Tonight I met my love in a dream. I saw him when I woke up, his flight to New York, and I know his attendance to the Jimmy Fallon show tomorrow the 21st is yet to happen. I know I wanted to win the contest through Z100 New York to meet with him and hang out at the Empire State Building. I wanted to attend a concert in Tampa to see him, and one in New Jersey if I could not make Tampa Florida.

None of these things have come to fruition... Except in my mind.

All my life I wanted to be like someone else so I can feel loved and accepted by their world. I often recall my life being like Ariel, pressed to live a life that I do not really want to live based on physical features and life limitations. Ariel was a mermaid, had no legs to walk the shore, and she also had obligations to her father King Triton's kingdom within the ocean.

Her voice was powerful in her skills and abilities. She was a collector such as myself. She collected the things she loved and still wanted to collect more. She didn't care about those things after a while. She wanted more. She wanted to finally be a part of that world.

I have thought long about the things I experienced over the years of my life. The song "Dream, Dream, Dream" by Everly Brothers is a song that sings with my heart. It was a reflection that I have spent many years dreaming my life because I have been unable to live my life the way I see it. My mind has a beautiful world, and the love that is expressed there is pure and dedicated.

SO... TONIGHT as I lay my head on the pillow thinking about my Jin... I say I love you.

Sweet Dreams.

#BTSArmy
#MentalHealth
#k -Pop
#Dreaming
#Anxiety
#BipolarDisorder

Wow! This “zero talent” list is triggering my mind to take over, reminding me of areas in which I’m “lacking”. Logically I know #takethebest /leavetherest; I need to “leave” this list. I feel overwhelmed, not inspired. Needs to be broken down in smaller chunks. It’s a bit much to focus on. What do you think of lists such as this? It’s morning, I need to start my day, and I need to #k .I.S.S.—keep it simple. #OnedayAtaTime .

"To love yourself is to be yourself."

Started my daily routines but felt "off". I sensed a day of "extra mental work" lay ahead. I could objectively feel a sad mood, room a mess, depression easing in, self-esteem dipping, lack of motivation. I found myself buried in bed at 2:00pm. NO! I had to fight this. I absolutely did NOT feel I had the strength for this battle. Against my own will, 🤭, I physically forced myself out of bed, made myself look halfway decent, and tackled one task at a time around the house.
#k .I.S.S. , no rush. Made sure I corellated moods/meds. REHYDRATED! 4-5 hours later and I am incredibly grateful to feel back to myself and incredibly grateful for all the #goodmedicine and blessings I've absorbed.
Does anyone experience days like this? Do you feel able to lift yourself up?
What works for you?

Outside
Calm and collect
Please to meet you
Surrounded by friends
Sun shine and blue skies
Puppies and rainbows
I can handle anything
Laughing joking
I can almost pull it together

Inside
All hell at at my door
Go f$#k yourself
Alone in a sea of millions
Storm clouds and lightning
Snake bites and hail storms
I’m about to cave in
Dead serious
I’m drifting farther and farther apart

#Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder