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My Dreams Disturb Me

All of my life I have had vivid dreams, dreams that have stayed with me. Of places and people I have visited often through the years. I revisit a lot of the same places, I also travel a lot in them. Sometimes it's obvious that I am in another timeline, sometimes I don't know when or where I am. Many of the dreams I remember are scary or traumatic. Is this normal? Here are two I have written down, including one from last night:

I was in a small dilapidated house, it was as if it was up on stilts. It was cold outside and the weird, and disturbed uncle of the family was cooking on a stove. It was one of those large stoves with a large oven. I was in the kitchen which was right next to the oven. I was holding the poor dog by the collar so the family that lived there wouldn't leave without him. The smell in the house began to change, it was almost sickly, and I can't explain it. I watched the two daughters of the family pass by the stove and their expressions changed to one of horror. I never left that way, I knew what he was cooking and escaped with the dog out of the back door in the kitchen. The girls recalled that they saw a large item in the oven and all that poked out from the door was the pinky of a young man. The smell was overwhelming, even now as I write this it still makes me sick. And I am not certain, but what I thought was snow, may have been something else. It was cold but the air smelled of char or burning.

They didn't believe me when I said she was dead, that I knew where her body was, beneath the tiles under the chalkboard. He kept her body in some sort of electronic box where terrible things happened. I didn't know her well, she was an acquaintance but no one deserves what happened to her. He was well respected, quiet, middle-aged with gray curly hair. A professor at the college and I think he killed her. No one believed me, but you'd be amazed how fast people move when told there was a bomb. I was bluffing of course but said that if they didn't dig up the floor along that wall I would blow up the school in "5 minutes." They raced to the classroom, pried up the tiles, pushed past some dirt and rats. The box sat perfectly beneath the plaster. They were shocked as they opened it up to find her remains. The smell was egregious and tore through the air. I almost threw up. But she was found and the professor, arrested.
#MentalHealth #Depression #PTSD #Dreaming #Advice #Anxiety

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#Vivid Dreaming

I dream every night, in color, and very vivid and realistic. I remember my dreams when I wake up and for several hours later. Lately I’ve been dreaming about a loved one who is estranged from me. I see us laughing and having a wonderful time. When I wake up I am so sad that this dream cannot be my reality and my day starts out very sad. Does anyone else dream like this? #Depression #Dreaming #BPD #Bipolar 1

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Day 3: Dreaming in the rain #ADHD #Leavingthehouse #Dreaming

Today we only walked a little bit. It's raining cats and dogs.

But even in de rain the pond is like a fairy tale pond.
There's an amusement park, The Efteling, here in the Netherlands where fairy tales come to life. One of the most popular attractions is that of the Indian Waterlilies (written by Queen Fabiola of Belgium).

I wonder if these waterlilies are star children, captured by an ugly witch with an amazing voice. Doomed forever to dance in the moonlight at midnight and be a beautiful lily by day.
#ADHD #digitalart

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WTF?? 😂

It's even difficult connecting with people on this app. I am aware this is part of my journey. The loneliness. It must serve a much greater purpose. This is truly me lucid in a dream, trying to talk with dream characters who want nothing to do with reality. 😆🖤
#Dissociative #lonely #Loneliness #BPD #Depression #Nofriends #Support #Love #Anxiety #Life #Dream #Dreaming #OCD #Society #socialized

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Embracing derealization.

The world and what is perceived as "real life" is but a dream. A waking dream. And I feel lucid most of the time within in. So much so that I have not been able to connect with others. It's like trying to talk to dream characters. I don't talk about these beliefs about the world with others. I go on like a normal human being would but I've noticed there's some unseen aversion towards me. Whether these people are conscious of it or not. I am not unpleasant, I am polite and considerate. But certain people just seem so resistant to being around me. They don't really just get up and leave but soon as I start speaking, I notice the defensiveness over their own personal beliefs. And we might not even be talking about their beliefs but it some how gets brought up. I feel as though they're afraid of seeing something that's actually real. Something that will trigger them awake too. The world around me constantly reminds me I'm dreaming. Especially when I start identifying with my pain, it's like something will occur and I'll stop and come back to the fact I'm dreaming. I still struggle a lot. I often feel alone and I kind of understand why but it still sucks. Does anyone else feel this??? 🤍
#Derealization #Dissociative #Anxiety #Fear #dreams #Dreaming #embracing #Life

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#BackPain #Anxiety #Dreaming of the beach as I lay here in a ton of scoliosis pain. Trying to maintain focus on my breathing but my mind keeps wandering to chocolate cake. Sometimes I try and soothe my pain with food... which probably not the best option. But, food can be therapeutic. Sometimes the price of indulgence is worth feeling uplifted inside 🤷🏼‍♀️ #Foodforthought


Paranoid thoughts

Do you ever wake up from a dream and feel paranoid about your surroundings? This might sound insane but my dreams have been like little premonitions. For example: I would dream about red lights being out and the next morning red lights were out. Another example: I dreamed that my car broke down. A couple days later my car broke down. Crazy right?! Well last night I dreamed and saw the number “13”. I feel paranoid today because I think it’s suppose to mean something negative. I work up this morning feeling so uneasy. I know I must sound crazy but it’s true. #Dreaming #Paranoia #Anxiety

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