lettingpeopledown

I had to have the day off today. I had pneumonia in November and I’m still in recovery from that, but over the weekend I became really unwell and knew it was a chest infection. I spent today at the doctors, sorting meds and generally being a mess. I cried in the doctors office, about missing work, about always being ill and mainly about the guilt. If I’m off work it has such a massive knock on effect for so many people and the guilt of that crushes me. I’m going back tomorrow (way before medical advice) because I know if I stay off longer I will not cope mentally. How do you cope with “the guilt” that accompanies chronic illness?
(next time I will try and post something more uplifting 😔)
#Guilt #ChronicIllness #Unreliable #lettingpeopledown

#Anxiety
I downloaded this app just yesterday and I feel understood here. I also saw a number of people with issues I could help with, and so I have been commenting a lot (atleast better than my average). I'm having this feeling that maybe I'm being too forward and it might seem attention-seeking. Also, I haven't replies to every comment got and I feel terrible. Also, I think if I keep on posting about the bad things going on with my life then again I'll look like an attention seeker and negative person. And I'll be ignored by everyone forever. What should I do?

#Anxiety #overthinking #lettingpeopledown #FearOfAbandonment
#imoutofhashtags

#invisible #whenanxietymakesyoufeelselfish #lettingpeopledown #sometimesyoujustcant #selfcare #cancellingplans #ifonlytheyknew #emotionalpain #physicalsymptoms #Guilt 

Invisible

Hello

Here I am.
'I'm OK' I say.
My smile tells you 'I'm normal'
It tells you, 'I'm coping. I'm thriving'

But you can't see in the dark.
You can't see me gulping for air
As my lungs compress and I shrink.
Tiny, I am.
A big world surrounds.
I'm not who you think I am.

I am lead.
Heavy, sinking down, down.
Noblood in my veins just pain
Oozing through my body.
Organs twist.
Mouth dries.
Cheeks are moist and eyes are glazed.

Here I am.
In the darkness.
I'm calling.

But you can't hear silence
The screams inside my head.
I'm so afraid, confused and numb.
Tiny, I am.
Shrunken.
Alone.
Behind the smile,
Under the skin.

A world unknown.

Here I am.