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    I may look healthy enough, but I have wounds and scars you can't see. When I warn people of my "issues", they look at me and dismiss or minimize them. They think because I look healthy that they can't be all that bad. That is because to the naked eye, they are invisible. When people encounter me and I begin to value our interactions and relationships, that's when my invisible "issues" become visible. That is when they realize that what I warned them about is true. That is when they begin to distance themselves from me. And, eventually, that is when they walk away from me. Unfortunately this compounds my "issues" and causes them to become even more debilitating. It reopens wounds and continues a cycle of victimization, thus making me "sicker". This is the nature of my invisible trauma which, after repeated cycles, has morphed into mood disorders and finally a personality disorder. It has gone from me having "mental issues" to a complicated mental illness. Just because you can't see my wounds, scars, trauma, and illness, it doesn't mean they aren't there. It's time we put faces to these illnesses so that others can see that not all illnesses are readily apparent. Perhaps then we can change the perspective of what mental illness really looks like. #MentalHealth #MentalIllness #Trauma #wounds #Scars #invisible #InvisibleIllness

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    In the silence of my tears #tears #silence #time #CPTSD #seeme #SuicideSurvivor #invisible #supportsurvivor

    In the Silence Of My Tears
    Sometimes when I lay in the midst of the night
    I can see the darkest corners of my jagged mind
    All the memories from demons past and present
    come flooding over me
    Nights turn to days … and … days turn to nights
    As I lay in the silent embers of my burning tears
    He lays next to me, Still I am alone,
    in the midst of the night as I silently cry
    Why must these demons haunt me eternally,
    why am I alone in my tears
    If all time is eternally present, how can I escape my demons past
    How can I reach my future without maddening frustration,
    without silent tears
    With time past always in my presence
    How can I escape the cold darkness of the aloneness
    My sadness deepens with each tear that falls on deaf ears
    Still he hears me not, in the stillness of the silence
    My past and present collide into one
    never ending nightmare of isolation
    Is this my destiny
    Sometimes when I lay in the midst of the night
    I can see the darkest corners of my jagged mind
    I scream out in silence through my tear stained face
    See me, hear me, I am not invisible
    As I lay in the silence of my tears
    Wildfire 9/19/20

    1 reaction 1 comment

    Invisibility Is (not always) A Superpower

    I start to get anxious just thinking about it. It should be something so simple, but it’s not. The careful planning, assessing and attention to details is vital. What’s happening before this? What’s coming up in the week following? It’s not a question of if she’ll get run down. It’s not a question of if she’ll get sick. It’s a question of when. And…is that birthday party, week at day camp, sporting event, etc actually worth it?

    But here’s one of the worst parts: you won’t get the weight of our decision. You won’t know why we couldn’t play that night or why we skipped the game. Because, the fact is, you don’t understand that she’s sick. Not really.

    You know we have the appointments. You know we get blood draws. You even know we spend nights out of town to see our doctors. But, you don’t understand. Your kids get sick, too. Your kids also get tired and emotional. Plus, she looks just fine.

    She looks fine. But, that’s one of her superpowers: invisibility. She saves it for us. She keeps it closely guarded. If you ask her how she’s feeling, she’ll say, “Good.”

    What you didn’t see was waking up and complaining she was tired. What you didn’t see was the terror in her eyes when she had blood in her stool- again. What you didn’t see was her complaining her belly hurt, or worse- getting sick. What you didn’t see was her retreat upstairs to lay down instead of play. You didn’t see her struggle at school because she “just couldn’t think “ or she’s “just not feeling herself.” The simplest questions tripping her up. What you didn’t see was her breaking down and crying over and over again from 4 pm on because she's so tired that she’s an emotional wreck. You didn’t see the multiple medications she’ takes to help her feel ‘normal.’ You didn’t see her as she got yet another a fever, yet another antibiotic, yet another doctor visit. And, you didn’t see her sleep a full 12 hours just to get up and do it again.

    She has a superpower of invisibility. You may not understand why we’re not coming, but I promise we would be there if we could.

    #Rare #PID #Fatigue #invisible #chronic #medicalmom


    Betrayed and confused #betrayed #Depression #suicidal

    I'm feeling rather let down and ignored in some places recently. It appears to me that when people just have something wrong with them.

    I'm also feeling let down by the mighty group in general. I feel like I'm being ignored and let down in places. People will just join and get florets of messages and love, but when people actually talk on this it's like nothing is actually going in.

    It's just another social media where people can talk about their problems and not be ignored. Well thanks mighty. I thought you were different.
    This really use to help me, but now I feel like no one can help me.
    #depresssd as fuck #invisible #shove your hashtags up your ass.

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    ME comic

    This is our new comic about real life experiences of people living with #ME #invisible #Disabilities


    Just want to be ok

    I am so lost right now. I feel so much pain. I'm so lonely that I can't take it anymore. Please find it your heart to help me. All I have ever wanted was to be liked. I just want someone to hug me and say it will be ok. Please............ 😭#ok #Depression #alone #invisible #noonelikesme


    Birthday 🎉🎉🎈

    Shared coffee ☕ with a neighbor and her service 🐕‍🦺 BEAR. Went for a beautiful walk to get some fresh air and see things in the daylight. Last weekend of good daylight.
    Went to my favorite non dairy treat shop and got some yummy dreamy chocolate chip fudge ice cream. Being non dairy, treats that taste good are rare, so I gave myself a treat today.
    #chronic pain #Distract me #breast cancer survivor, seasonal affective, #Depression #Fibromyalgia , #positive thought of the Day, self care, #Anxiety , #Forgotten ,#invisible illness,

    I want to thank all the mighties that have wished me Happy Birthday 🎁🎉,!
    Signing off mighties


    I Wish... ...... #MightyPoets

    I wish you would please listen
    To these words I have to say,
    Don't search for a response
    Just sit and listen anyway.

    Try not to take my voice
    And find in it a place to blame,
    Or seek of a rebuttal
    To make it about you again.

    I wish that just this once
    You'd clear out all your other thoughts,
    Make room to hear my pain
    Find out the reasons I feel lost.

    These words aren't meant to hurt
    But give instead a sense of why,
    Each time in which we talk
    Tears damn near flood into my eyes.

    I wish there wasn't fear
    Milling in droves within my heart,
    Afraid when I do speak
    You'll forget words right from the start.

    Then I'll have to repeat
    Oftentimes twice or many more,
    My voice soon tends to fade
    Slapped in the face by your slammed door.

    I wish you didn't know
    About so many others' lives,
    Or of their intimate details
    Which cut through me like burning knives.

    Cause when you're asked about
    Details in which pertain to me,
    You say that you don't know
    Then yet again I feel unseen.

    This final wish I pray
    Would be a gift priceless from thee,
    Not built of dollar signs
    It'd be your gift of listening.

    By: Debra Brent

    #iwish #poet #Poetry #MentalHealthAwareness #Depression #ChronicDepression #Trauma #Childhoodtrauma #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #CPTSD #Anxiety #SuicidalThoughts #unhealedtrauma #EmotionalNeglect #abandonment #invisible #Fear #Selfcare #Introvert #Grief #Healing #hurt #ImListening

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    Sometimes I feel this pup is the only thing keeping me alive… #Depression

    Of course he’s not the only one. My wife and kids play a big part in my life as well. But with Rocky I can be me. No pretending. No shell. No judgement. And for the last month I have needed it more than ever. And what’s worse is that it makes me feel so alone in myself. 😔

    #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #Depression #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BingeEatingDisorder #EatingDisorders #OCPD #invisible #alone

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