marriagehelp

*First time post, this felt like a very neutral place to ask this question*
I am a married (22 year) mom of 3 (2 teen girls, 1 preteen boy) and I don’t feel like having sex with my husband. For various reasons...just damn tired, stressed from work (I’m a nurse), not feeling the attraction; but worst of all, I am being made to feel like it’s all my fault for not being interested. It makes me feel guilty and spins up my anxiety. My switch is in the off position right now and I really don’t want to turn it back on right now, but that doesn’t really seem good enough for him and it comes back to me not trying hard enough. Is something wrong with me?? Thanks.

My wife says she's unhappy with our marriage and needs time to decide if she wants a divorce or not. I'm not sure I want to stay married now.  Plenty more details below.

I am experiencing extreme distrust in my husband, and I’m obsessing over thinking that he is talking with another woman and getting close, in an inappropriate way. I’ve. had this happen in the past- and I know it’s triggered by changes in our relationship, and I mean good, positive changes. I just wonder, “why is this so good? what is the catch”?? I have caught him one time getting close with another female coworker, and he lied to my face about it. He finally came clean but I don’t think I know the whole truth. now, I am obsessing over his “possible” relationship with another female coworker- and I am questioning every single thing my husband does- I try not to question him- because rational me knows I’m being delusional , so I am trying to use my self awareness to divert that behavior. But THIS TIME is by far, the worst it’s ever been. I hate this. things are good with us right now, and yet I’m obsessing over his behaviors, as if it can’t just be a good thing. I actually feel like my obsessive thoughts are so strong. How do I make my brain stop obsessing???

Recently my husband and I went to Washington DC to attend a celebration with my publisher on writing my first book. We took an extra few days to make this our summer holiday. Going 8+ hours to my destination is beyond difficult even with adjustable, heated seats. It’s too long in one seated position to do any driving. So, passenger I am. I am continually switching positions so I don’t stiffen up and end up in too much pain. My husband drives and makes stops along the way so I can walk and stretch. This is also the time when we do a lot of talking and sharing our feelings. As we joke, “take on the world together”. I can’t imagine not having his support.

But what happens when you don’t have the support of those closest to you? What happens when they question the reality of your illness? I can’t believe that thinking still exists and the pain it must cause. Talking about illness sounds horrible but it is necessary in order to have the emotional strength to work on you. Self-care cannot exist when your husband is saying nasty things about you not working, keeping the house clean and making meals. That’s not what you agreed to when you took your vows, ‘for better or worse’. If this isn’t the worse, I don’t want to know what is.

I’m fortunate, my husband did his absolute best to understand and support me when I needed to rest, not attend functions and just have quiet weekends. We’ve talked more in depth about this recently and after reading my book he said that even though he was positive and understanding he wasn’t doing what he really needed to do. He now says he needed to learn and understand this illness and what I was going through emotionally.

I believe this is at the core of improving your fibromyalgia symptoms so that you can enjoy life again. It’s not the only thing but it is vital to have your most important relationship understand the illness and what you are going through. It may be different than before but you can still find joy, reduced pain, better sleep and meaning in your life.

Download my book for FREE here:

mailchi.mp/2e7b2de8eee1/freebookoffer

#chronicpain #Fibromyalgia #Fatigue #supportivehusband #Relationships #InvisibleIllness #marriagehelp