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Ups, downs, progress and the frustrating relief of diagnosis

I have dealt with anxiety my entire life. I also have a tumultuous family on top of that which can make things.....interesting to say the least. This year it seems my anxiety has given me a run for my money. I started my (academic year) in constant pain and in the ER, eventually flying home from college to get care. Every doctor told me it was anxiety, which can be frustrating as many write it off. Fast forward a few months to a few traumatic events which led into panic attacks every. Single. Day. For most of the winter. Slowly things improved and now I haven’t had a full panic attack in weeks!!! But just as things felt like they were getting better I started getting weird spasms and movements which were diagnosed as functional neurological disorder. So I’m across the country from my family, no contact with my twin brother and limited contact with my parents due to a months long camping trip they’re on, and dealing with a new neurological disorder and the possibility of some life changing mental health diagnosis soon. Oh boy. Needless to say I am a bit horrifying. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I would love advice. And if you have FND, I would love to chat as this is a whole new world for me (and a lot to face at 19:/) #alone #anxietyisathief #PanicAttack #Mybrainsucks

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Today is a.....#mehday

Today for me is a meh day, it's not a bad day, it's not a good day, it's not a inbetween day. It's just a meh day....I can't explain it, I can't describe it. However I don't feel like I have the engery or desire to do anything but stare out a window. My family calls it lazy and I don't even try anymore to explain to them that's it's not. Anyone else get these days...these days usually come before I have a very "low day" as I can then when my depression takes a plunge into the deep deep water of darkness... #MentalHealthDays #notlazy #Mybrainsucks #Relateable #Depression


On my own as my husband is away abroad with work and my daughter is at my mums and I feel low. I struggle with low mood alot and especially when I am on my own. Though I pretty much hate being with people most the time. So I feel irritated when I am not alone most the time. I feel empty. Why is my brain so mega crap? #Mybrainsucks #Lowmood #Depression #Fuckup #lonely #empty #SuicidalThoughts