I really don’t know what to do.
Because of an infidelity from my father that happened 3 years ago my family just collapsed. My mom is very emotional and that broke her, but she is a christian woman so she doesn’t want divorce and always prayed for God to change my dad, etc. My father has been changing in a bad way since like 7 or 8 years ago. He became very volatile and with a lot of anger issues, and he is very, very immature. Since the infidelity, the family has been walking in a thin rope, but then he was texting another woman 4 months after even tho he was “sorry” for the last time. He always plays the victim and my mom is too forgiving. But my mom changed and is the strongest woman I know. Since then my dad has done a lot of stupid things, he doesn’t change, and 3 months ago, he said a lot of hurtful things to my mom and she told me just 2 days ago that he choked her. I couldn’t process that. I was full of anger. That day 3 months ago she was very sick from her gallbladder (she haves gallbladder stones) because of the stress that caused her and she almost died. I will never forget that day. Yesterday my dad snaped in front of his own family and his mom’s birthday because of a misunderstanding with his brothers and my mom had to calm him.
We thought that he would change from that, but no, yesterday and today has been just him playing victim and “poor me”. I had come to the conclusion that he haves narcissistic personality disorder.
But yesterday he admited that he just wanted to jump infront of a car and die. My mom has been battling depression for 3 years too.
I really really don’t know what to do. I too have so many mental issues but I need to keep this family stable.
I have been begging my mom for her to divorce my dad, but as I said, she is Christian so she doesn’t what to do it and because “it would be so shameful”
It feels like my heart doest belong to me and that it’s beating for 3 people. Like if I crumble everything will end.
I can’t breathe, I don’t know what is peace atp anymore.
I wish I had brothers or sisters so I wouldn’t have to live this alone, but at the end of the day it’s jusm me here, trapped and scared that when I wake up one lf my parents wont be there anymore.
#Depression #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder
#BipolarDisorder