Narcissistic Personality Disorder

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Two depressed parents

I really don’t know what to do.
Because of an infidelity from my father that happened 3 years ago my family just collapsed. My mom is very emotional and that broke her, but she is a christian woman so she doesn’t want divorce and always prayed for God to change my dad, etc. My father has been changing in a bad way since like 7 or 8 years ago. He became very volatile and with a lot of anger issues, and he is very, very immature. Since the infidelity, the family has been walking in a thin rope, but then he was texting another woman 4 months after even tho he was “sorry” for the last time. He always plays the victim and my mom is too forgiving. But my mom changed and is the strongest woman I know. Since then my dad has done a lot of stupid things, he doesn’t change, and 3 months ago, he said a lot of hurtful things to my mom and she told me just 2 days ago that he choked her. I couldn’t process that. I was full of anger. That day 3 months ago she was very sick from her gallbladder (she haves gallbladder stones) because of the stress that caused her and she almost died. I will never forget that day. Yesterday my dad snaped in front of his own family and his mom’s birthday because of a misunderstanding with his brothers and my mom had to calm him.

We thought that he would change from that, but no, yesterday and today has been just him playing victim and “poor me”. I had come to the conclusion that he haves narcissistic personality disorder.
But yesterday he admited that he just wanted to jump infront of a car and die. My mom has been battling depression for 3 years too.

I really really don’t know what to do. I too have so many mental issues but I need to keep this family stable.
I have been begging my mom for her to divorce my dad, but as I said, she is Christian so she doesn’t what to do it and because “it would be so shameful”

It feels like my heart doest belong to me and that it’s beating for 3 people. Like if I crumble everything will end.
I can’t breathe, I don’t know what is peace atp anymore.
I wish I had brothers or sisters so I wouldn’t have to live this alone, but at the end of the day it’s jusm me here, trapped and scared that when I wake up one lf my parents wont be there anymore.
#Depression #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder
#BipolarDisorder

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Feeling better today!

Well it's Tuesday and I finally got out of the house to go to a doctors appointment. I lost 5 pounds which is great but I didn't do it the right way. I don't eat when I get depressed which really sucks. However the sun is out and it's beautiful here in NY! Today I am gonna look at things differently. I am heading towards acceptance over the loss of my marriage. I have fully felt my feelings and let my emotions show this weekend and I didn't hold back. I know deep down inside he is a good person. I mean he is really good with everybody expect me lol. Today I got my feelings under control and I'm not gonna allow him to take power over me at least for today. I have been reading up on narcissism especially the research papers on narcissism and it's amazing how much my story compares with the people that were apart of the research. So the good news is that my doctors are going to revaluate my diagnosis that I was given a long time ago.. it seems that in these studies the partner of a narcissist started to show symptoms of bipolar. Well that is my diagnosis as well. I'm looking forward to that. All in all I just feel much better all around and I am not gonna allow my feelings and emotions take up anymore rent in my heart and head! Acceptance is the key. #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #Divorce #Bipolar #Healing

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Getting closer to feeling myself again

Good morning all! It's Monday morning around 6am here in NY. I slept better than I expected so that's a big plus! I still feel numb over the divorce papers that my narcissist husband served me with last Tuesday. I realized I need to journal about it as I seem to be staying stuck in that feeling of uncertainty. I have already allowed myself to mourn the loss of my husband but I haven't really allowed myself to grieve over my future. I am down right scared about the future. I have a hundred questions and thoughts running through my mind as I'm an overthinker. I think I am still in awe that over the entire relationship. I played my part. I am an addict in recovery. I'm going on 2 years July 2nd 2024. So my addiction played a role in this. However, I still can't get over the fact that I allowed him to mess with my mental state with his lies and cheating ways. It really took a toll on me for awhile.
I'm currently on disability at the moment for my bipolar but I am thinking of getting a full time job. I don't think I can make it alone with just disability and a part time job. The bills are coming in and I still haven't made a budget. It's like everything is so surreal.
Here's to today as we only have the present moments. It's up to me to decide if I want to sit in my shit or get up and start my day. I choose to get up and enjoy the day! For once I have a choice in my life and it feels amazing 😍 #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #monday #Smiling

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Just left my Narcissist husband of 25 years

Just left my Narcissist husband of 25 years about 7 weeks ago. I was so proud of myself for leaving. Well he decided to file divorce papers on me last week. So now I am totally upset over this. I am mourning the loss of our future together right now. He totally abused me and I allowed him too. But when I finally had enough I finally stood up and walked out. I am done with my feelings for him as he ended up getting an STD about 13 months ago and I never slept with him again. So I took down all the cameras and trackers in my car. I found a1bedroom apt and moved. Anyways he is cheating on me so he has moved on obviously! I'm just feeling my feelings today. Thanks for letting me vent! #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder

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Is It Narcissism or Gaslighting?

We know that narcissism and gaslighting both lend themselves to abusive treatment, but they are actually two different things. They’re both extremely destructive. They both have serious negative effects on the people around them. And people who are victims of narcissistic abuse or gaslighting face similar problems in determining what to do about it. Let’s take a deeper dive.

Narcissism is a psychiatric condition—a personality disorder—that’s included in the DSM and has been recognized for years. The DSM says that NPD involves “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts.” Diagnostic criteria include a need for excessive admiration, a sense of entitlement, interpersonally exploitive behavior, a lack of empathy, a belief that others are envious of them, and arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes. Narcissism is a personality trait, while clinically, Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a psychiatric condition.

(I will not now be discussing politics. Diagnosis-at-a-distance is not valid or desirable. Diagnosis can only be made by a mental health professional who has actually spoken to the person in question.)

Gaslighting, on the other hand, is a form of psychological manipulation that narcissistic abusers sometimes use to control another person by making them doubt their own reality and sanity. But people other than narcissists use gaslighting as well. They could simply have narcissistic tendencies but not be diagnosable or diagnosed with NPD.

In other words, narcissism focuses on a sense of grandiosity and superiority, while gaslighting focuses on the way one person manipulates another in an abusive manner.

Gaslighting gets its name from a movie that showed a husband who tried to convince his wife that she was insane, for personal gain. The term has entered the non-psychiatric discourse and is used very loosely to mean any kind of abusive tactics rather than the specific one of causing another person to doubt their own reality.

Gaslighting can be one tactic that people with NPD use when they do abuse others, but there are a number of other toxic behaviors they demonstrate as well. Someone engaging in narcissistic abuse can use a variety of techniques to emotionally manipulate another person. They may belittle and demean their victim, isolate them from friends and family, and use intermittent reinforcement (in which they sometimes praise and show love for the victim, then take any opportunity to insult and blame them).

A gaslighter denies the victim’s perception of reality. They may explain their abusive behavior as “just a joke.” They may deny that their victim’s memory of an incident is true. They create a sense of cognitive dissonance in which the victim’s lived experience is at odds with what the abuser says really happened. There is obviously a great deal of overlap between gaslighting and narcissistic abuse.

The effects of narcissistic abuse or gaslighting can be severe. Victims can feel low self-esteem, internalize the abuse and believe they are to blame for it or brought it on themselves, feel alienation from friends and family, have difficulty trusting others, be unable to make decisions, and not feel able to maintain a sense of self. They frequently stay with the abuser, unable to recognize what is happening. They may feel they can change the abuser. They can’t.

The best way to counteract the harmful effects of narcissistic abuse or gaslighting is to get away from it. Admittedly, this is difficult to do. The victim may have been conditioned to believe that the abuser loves them and not want to give up on the relationship. Even if the victim does leave, it may take a long time and most likely therapy for them to realize what actually happened and define it as abuse.

Setting boundaries can help, though an abuser is not likely to respect them. Seeking support from friends, family, a psychologist, or group therapy may well be necessary. Couples counseling is not likely to help. The abuser may not admit that they need help. Education can be empowering. Once you learn about the dynamics and techniques of abuse or gaslighting, you’re less likely to be susceptible to them.

But the best thing to do is not to get involved with a narcissist or a gaslighter in the first place. It’s a situation that’s a lot easier to get into than to get out of. Watch for red flags, then keep your distance. They may seem attractive at first, but they’re trouble waiting to happen.

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Guy crashing car on purpose?

I was just wondering about y’all’s thoughts here. I started liking this guy and our feelings were super strong for eachother. Before we started anything serious I told him I needed to be single for myself. The same night he messaged me saying he crashed his car and I can’t help but feel like he did it on purpose to make me feel bad for him. Have any of you expierenced anything like that with a guy? Is it likely? The way he talked is what lead me to believe he did this on purpose, and the timing of it all. Please let me know what you think NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder

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#Bipolar #MentalHealth #Anxiety #ADHD #PTSD #PostpartumDisorders #Cyclothymia Nighttime Brain Dump

My life is so stressful and chaotic. I personally suffer with #Cyclothymia #Bipolar #Anxiety #ADHD #PTSD #PostpartumDisorders #Adjustment Disorder with #attachmenttrauma
I also suffer from #Co -depenency
My current husband has #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder .
My Mom has #Bipolar and My Dad has #Bipolar and #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
I believe I was born as an Angel and a Child of God. I’m Christian. At 5 and 6 years old I was physically abused by my Uncle. At 14 years old, I had to pack my bags and be taken away from my Mom who was #Manic at the time. She has attempted suicide several times by pills. The last attempt was November 2023. My sister, was diagnosed with #BreastCancer November 2023. November is also my birthday month. My best friend, Ashley, died from a head on collision on the freeway from a Drunk Driver, on my birthday, at 19 years old.
I come from a long history of abuse and trauma. In High School, my Dad and Stepmom would lock up food and other essentials in their room. They withheld food from us. I have food scarcity issues to this day. On May 4, 2023 I found out that my Husband of 13 years had been cheating on me throughout our relationship and marriage. I got a Restraining Order for Emotional Abuse. My only child and I were in hiding for about 6 weeks until my court hearing that my husband filed for Emergency Custody Rights and Legal Separation. He filed in the paperwork that I was Unstable, not taking my medication, and supervised visits. He wanted to pay me zero spousal support and zero Child support. We settled out of court in June 2023, the day before the hearing. My husband was an #Alcohoic and #Addiction to bad behaviors. He lied, cheated, and spent money that was supposed to support the family. To say I’m devastated is an understatement.
My #MentalHealth is suffering because I am still in the same house, in the same bed, with my Husband.
How can I go on like this?
I’ve never been suicidal but I’m exhausted. I’m current seeing my Psychiatrist and Therapist for treatment. I’m even doing IV #ketamine Treatments.
I know I deserve better in so many ways. Any ideas or suggestions on how to move on from here? I’m suffering even though I know I deserve a life that is better. 🙏

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Getting the courage

I dont know when and how I’m going to find the courage to leave him. God he terrorizes me daily. Before this man even opens his eyes and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is manipulation in the morning. Completely shits on my morning. And then I have to deal with the mind games of him playing victim “what’s wrong? Are you mad at me? I love you!” LIKE STOP FUCKING WITH MY HEAD.

He never takes me seriously or respects when I’m irritated with him. Just now he tried to do this playing dumb game he does where he’s like “should I get the free upgrade for my phone that’s just as good or should I spend several hundred dollars for the iPhone max upgrade?” I looked at him irritated and was like “stop fucking with me” (I think the answer is obvious you should choose the free option???). And he just looked honestly confused and said “why?” I got irritated and rolled my eyes and he proceeded to get “overwhelmed” with “how cute I am when I’m mad”.

He even tried to get a pic of me. So invalidating. He doesn’t even care that I was irritated. This is so exhausting. It’s like this constantly. And I have to fight him and beg him to stop doing the “playing dumb/victim game”. Which doesn’t always work. What the fuck is he doing?

#Abuse #MentalHealth #Anxiety #PTSD #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder

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