niece

#FosterCare #aunt #niece #Family #proudaunt #empath #Empathy

I am in a weird place in general. I’m tired and I’m sad. I miss my family. I’m worried about them…consumed by my thoughts about them. Thoughts of them struggling and being afraid. It’s based on reality because I have heard all about the tears, the screaming, the anger, the fear, the frustration.

Took me a while to realize…that it was because things weren’t going great. They’re not happy and I’m picking it up.

Hence why I write to them when I can. I’m not legally family…I’m not their mother…all I can do…is be there.

I never thought I would feel so helpless. But…to be honest…it feels good to get this off my chest. If you hide your feelings…they just grow and grow…until they consume your very soul.

I’m a sensitive person…I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m just emotional. But I check the facts.

I always try to check the facts.

I already had my crying session. I feel better. Calmer. Now I will do my best to be an amazing aunt. The best I can be.

My baby turns 10 next year, and the thought of double digits is exciting and scary. I could never repeat the stress of the first decade, nor could have imagined the joy. Most importantly, would he give me a good review as a mom? Sometimes, answers come unexpectedly, disguised in the form of a birthday card from your 11 year old niece.