empath

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    How Strange Am I

    When someone spits on the ground I can visualize the air bubbles in the spit before it hits the ground.

    When to many line patterns cross each other, I have a visual panic attack. I have to get away from it fast or I will have and emotional outburst.

    When I look at object for example if I zoom in on any device or object I can visualize the inside of it for example the inside of a wall, the inside of the stop light pole, the inside of a computer, the inside of a cellphone, the inside of a hollow door. The inside of a tire while it's still on the car. Under the house that is setting flat against the ground - meaning the bugs crawling around under the house burst pipelines if that was to happen. It seems cool but it sucks! Its intrusive. This is my unique but strange life.

    I have BPD, ADHD & Autistic Traits with Sensory Processing Disorder. I'm an Emotional Empath. #BPD #ADHD #Autism #SPD #empath

    Poll


    The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

    74% ●
    Very Empathetic
    16% ●
    Empath
    0% ●
    Not Empathetic At All
    11% ●
    Very Little Empathy
    19 votes
    Post

    Empath question #empath #Weather

    I have been reading up lately about Empaths and HSPs because I’ve always been very sensitive to other emotions. My question is…are most Empath’s moods effected by the weather? Is there a group to find out more information?

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    “ALONE” #Introvert #Depression #MentalHealth #alone #sad #Ghosting #empath

    I found solitude to be my safe haven. Being alone has become a love affair for me. I am married and a mom. So I don’t mean I’m alone in that capacity . But I am without any real friends who aren’t ghosting me out of the blue.
    And I am without any real family members they all just use me.

    My kindness has been taken advantage of and my feelings overlooked. I won’t beg anyone to choose me the way that I choose them. I’ll just be at peace with being alone. I am at peace with it.

    I have never wronged anybody. I honestly don’t understand what it is. But I will no longer make sacrifices for others when they aren’t willing to do the same for me. I hate being an empath. But I’ll teach myself how to be selfish. I’ll practice a little more self love instead of going above and beyond for others. While they just leave me in the dark when I want to plan something with them.

    It’s so weird and I have yet to wrap my head around it. I have to literally learn to add NO to my vocabulary the way that they freely use it to decline me. I’m sadden that it has come to this and I have warned them before that I’ll no longer call and that I’ll be practicing living a hermit lifestyle. When I did that they were all blowing up my phone trying to see what happened. And begged me not to do that. But nope for now on I’m gonna just enjoy the company of my husband and kids.

    We will continue to plan our own adventures and celebrate our milestones without them. In tired of being there for others without receiving the same energy. I’m introverted so being alone is something that I find comfort in. I’ll just have to accept the fact that it’s now becoming a way of life for me.

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    This could be misunderstood

    I've always struggled with therapy and being on medication because I never quite understood why I needed it.

    I'm a feeling person who feels alot and I always have been since I was a child. I'm in therapy again after some years because I do think it's important to talk to someone if you can about the things you are feeling.

    I'm trying to stick with it and I will but the turn off comes when my therapist is trying to uncover some childhood trauma or deep trauma that simply doesn't exist. Its just that the same questions persist as if I'm not being open enough.

    It sucks but some of us including myself are just very sensitive to the world and everything around us. I think deeply about things and see the world with a different lens. Actually that doesn't suck at all because I truly believe I'm here for a reason.

    I know It's about managing my emotions, the way I think and the way I feel. I'm empathetic, sensitive and very aware it but it doesn't mean I'm dealing with any trauma. I know its easier to diagnose trauma but sometimes depression is simply depression and its up to myself to find the light that God gave me and to put my gifts to good use. Depression is not a sign of weakness neither is trauma.

    I'm not sad person or a pessimistic person. I'm a happy person who loves the world so deeply that sometimes I wish things were different and I find myself in a funk. The only trauma I'm dealing with is wishing the world was a better place and people being nicer to eachother.

    Can you relate? Have you been to therapy? How has your experience been? What are you fighting for to make yourself whole?

    I hope this day brings you peace, love and light. Thank you for letting my ramble. ❤

    #Depression #Anxiety #Therapy #INFJ #empath #Taurus #OPTIMIST #Faith

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    Strength

    #FosterCare #aunt #niece #Family #proudaunt #empath #Empathy

    I am in a weird place in general. I’m tired and I’m sad. I miss my family. I’m worried about them…consumed by my thoughts about them. Thoughts of them struggling and being afraid. It’s based on reality because I have heard all about the tears, the screaming, the anger, the fear, the frustration.

    Took me a while to realize…that it was because things weren’t going great. They’re not happy and I’m picking it up.

    Hence why I write to them when I can. I’m not legally family…I’m not their mother…all I can do…is be there.

    I never thought I would feel so helpless. But…to be honest…it feels good to get this off my chest. If you hide your feelings…they just grow and grow…until they consume your very soul.

    I’m a sensitive person…I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m just emotional. But I check the facts.

    I always try to check the facts.

    I already had my crying session. I feel better. Calmer. Now I will do my best to be an amazing aunt. The best I can be.

    Post

    First my Grandma, Now my favorite Aunt #Grief

    I just got a call, last night, that my aunt passed away, only about 6 weeks after we just lost my grandma. My heart feels like it’s in shreds, right now. Honestly, more for my cousins than myself, though I was really close to her, too. She wasn’t anywhere near perfect, and I’m certain she had some kind of mental health issues, but she was the least judgmental person in my family, at least towards me. She was always the one to ask how I’m doing and called me out on it if I tried to lie that I was fine. I couldn’t trust her not to tell anyone, but I could trust that she would listen and not respond with judgment. She had been in an emotionally abusive relationship for 23 years, and had 2 daughters, now 24 and 21. They’d lived everywhere from a nice neighborhood in Aurora, Colorado, to a pickup truck in a Las Vegas campground, to living with my parents in Texas. Most recently, her daughters had been supporting both medically complicated parents in an apartment, and working many hours of overtime each to do so. Her daughters absolutely doted on both her and our grandma whom we just lost. She died in their apartment, as her oldest daughter did CPR on her. I can only imagine how much they’re hurting, right now, but being an empath and also dealing with my own grief, I’m feeling extremely overwhelmed by it.

    #Highly Sensitive Person or HSP
    #HighlysensitivePerson
    #empath
    #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
    #Depression
    #Anxiety

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    Untangling Fibres of Me

    Most of my life I wished to be me, and for you to stay you. I wished that your feelings stay yours to handle, your darkness yours to deal with and your uneasiness yours to overcome.

    You didn’t want me to see your troubles and I didn’t ask for them to be mine. Yet, those tears keep flowing as I untangle mine from yours to wash away feelings that do not belong to me.

    It takes many days of solace to untangle. Many days to attend to thoughts that family gatherings, unexpected news and memories that resurfaced from the past, have once again left their mark on me.

    Memories of a lifetime that make themselves known, unprovoked and uninvited, asking to re-live each moment, each word, each thought, each feeling – every single one as strong as many years ago.

    #HSP #HighlySensitive #HighlysensitivePerson #empath #CPTSD #ComplexPTSD #Depression

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    Ego-Death Experience; The Murder Of A Soul

    The process of my ‘awakening‘ began, suddenly, in the fall of 2019.

    The physical symptoms; a hole in my core, an emptiness, a dark pit grew within me. All at once, I experienced a terrifying panic, and emotional collapse. My body felt like a tomb, and my soul was desperately trying to escape. I was dying, though, I had no visible illness or injury.

    My soul/ego didn’t die, that September day, as a result of psychedelics or purposeful intent; my ego starved to death because his was insatiable.
    #AnxietyAttack #Detachment #awakening #empath

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    So About Valentine's day #Empathy #Depression #Relationships #empath

    Welp, I went to therapy. It was good, we talked a lot about how I was doing in regards to this person not being in my life anymore. I talked about how I felt stuck, How I want to talk to them again (I even do right now and thats partly why I am writing this). I know it can be toxic and is best to let things cool down but its hard. I have moment's of weakness where all I want to do is talk to her. I made a deal with myself in regards to that, the deal was that if I can make it to friday without talking to her I will message her and try to strike up a conversation. If she does not reply it is time to fully block her and delete all spare accs so there is no way to reach her. If she does happen to reply and the conversations seems like it isn't going in a good direction you need to excuse yourself for however long that may be. If indeed it is an eventful conversation then you need to consider your life and theirs in regards to the future. Will talking to them cause you pain again? do you want only a friendship? Naughty thoughts of this person are ok because things have happened but do you only want the best for this person and for this person to be in your life? Those are the steps I will take but it is barely Wednesday so I have some time for my mind to change or for things to happen. Going back to my therapy session I mentioned to my therapist that I was not sure what I was meant to be doing to feel better but I knew that what I was doing was not it. It also felt like even though I was trying to do new things it felt like I was doing noting at all. She in turn mentioned that maybe I was doing something and maybe a good action feels like no action has been taken at first. Well anyways I hope someone will help me decipher this. Love you all