I am in a weird place in general. I’m tired and I’m sad. I miss my family. I’m worried about them…consumed by my thoughts about them. Thoughts of them struggling and being afraid. It’s based on reality because I have heard all about the tears, the screaming, the anger, the fear, the frustration.
Took me a while to realize…that it was because things weren’t going great. They’re not happy and I’m picking it up.
Hence why I write to them when I can. I’m not legally family…I’m not their mother…all I can do…is be there.
I never thought I would feel so helpless. But…to be honest…it feels good to get this off my chest. If you hide your feelings…they just grow and grow…until they consume your very soul.
I’m a sensitive person…I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m just emotional. But I check the facts.
I always try to check the facts.
I already had my crying session. I feel better. Calmer. Now I will do my best to be an amazing aunt. The best I can be.