Nightmares

I’ve never spoken about this before. But when I was postpartum with my baby, I was so sleep deprived and low support, that I started to have auditory hallucinations and strange delusions. There was one time that I didn’t know what time of year it was, what day. It was like I couldn’t process the concept. I would hear things and just ignore it and see shadows out of the corners of my eyes. I always thought there was something darting around the room it was actually annoying because I could never catch a look at it. Strange impending feelings of doom, being scared to fall asleep for whatever reason. There was this one time that my husband at the time I thought was against me and tricking me to go to sleep like I can barely remember but for some reason I thought they were out to get me and like they thought I was crazy and wanted me to go to sleep so they could get away with something with the baby (my mom and him). It felt like I couldn’t breathe all the time I wa so anxious and couldn’t sleep if I heard my baby cry or would think I heard her crying all the time and would come down to see if she was and she would have been sound asleep. Or have nightmares of her crying. I don’t know if this is just sleep deprivation or psychosis but there it is.

I kept having this weird fear of falling asleep it kept me from falling asleep it was so so miserable I can’t even understand the reasoning now

#PostpartumAnxiety #PostpartumDepression #PostpartumDisorders #PTSD

I was diagnosed with trauma based ptsd, and dissociation. The nightmares have slowed down. But as the memories resurface I have a really hard time. People think I’m crazy and don’t understand or listen to my concerns. I feel like something is wrong. And I’m scared. But I have read that when there is a trigger, your senses r heightened. And your on high alert. I am just realizing that what I’m experiencing, isn’t always what I think. I would really love if anyone could share any, coping mechanisms they have used that have helped. I’m new to this, and, hiding from the world isn’t helping. So, thank you in advance

hey all, just want to say you are not alone. ive been trying to envision the other sleepless people when I am up all night again and it is some comfort. So many great artists and writers barely slept a wink. Tracy Emin, Van Gogh, Vladamir Nabokov. Sometimes i wonder if the worlds absolute obsession with the perfect nights sleep is responsible for making us, the insomniacs, feel even worse about our condition. So i may not be the talented artist those guys are but i try when i can to create, i try to help others, i try to care for the people and animals in my life to the best of my limited ability. my intentions are kind. and i am sure yours are too. in the worst insomnia bout of my life (chronic lifelong insomniac here). Last week I had four nights without even a minute. every other night the same fractured, hallucinating hellscape. decades now of hypnagogic hallucinations, waking nightmares. But i remember the great painting of the night demon sat on an insomniac womans chest - the nightmare by Henry Fusili (the painter clearly suffering sleep paralysis), and i feel a kinship there. I hope you all can too. www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-famous-artists-dealt-insomnia

hey all, just want to say you are not alone. ive been trying to envision the other sleepless people when I am up all night again and it is some comfort. So many great artists and writers barely slept a wink. Tracy Emin, Van Gogh, Vladamir Nabokov. Sometimes i wonder if the worlds absolute obsession with the perfect nights sleep is responsible for making us, the insomniacs, feel even worse about our condition. So i may not be the talented artist those guys are but i try when i can to create, i try to help others, i try to care for the people and animals in my life to the best of my limited ability. my intentions are kind. and i am sure yours are too. in the worst insomnia bout of my life (chronic lifelong insomniac here). Last week I had four nights without even a minute. every other night the same fractured, hallucinating hellscape. decades now of hypnagogic hallucinations, waking nightmares. But i remember the great painting of the night demon sat on an insomniac womans chest - the nightmare by Henry Fusili (the painter clearly suffering sleep paralysis), and i feel a kinship there. I hope you all can too. www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-famous-artists-dealt-insomnia

hey all, just want to say you are not alone. ive been trying to envision the other sleepless people when I am up all night again and it is some comfort. So many great artists and writers barely slept a wink. Tracy Emin, Van Gogh, Vladamir Nabokov. Sometimes i wonder if the worlds absolute obsession with the perfect nights sleep is responsible for making us, the insomniacs, feel even worse about our condition. So i may not be the talented artist those guys are but i try when i can to create, i try to help others, i try to care for the people and animals in my life to the best of my limited ability. my intentions are kind. and i am sure yours are too. in the worst insomnia bout of my life (chronic lifelong insomniac here). Last week I had four nights without even a minute. every other night the same fractured, hallucinating hellscape. decades now of hypnagogic hallucinations, waking nightmares. But i remember the great painting of the night demon sat on an insomniac womans chest - the nightmare by Henry Fusili (the painter clearly suffering sleep paralysis), and i feel a kinship there. I hope you all can too. www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-famous-artists-dealt-insomnia

I’ve been doing some reading on the inner child theory and it applies to my case. I was sexually abused as a child and now that I actually remembered after years of not remembering, all these flashbacks keep coming back. I’m having nightmares and I’m afraid of my abuser who is still around. My stomach feels nauseated on the weekend when I see them most and I use marijuana to calm me down and self medicate feelings of fear and anxiety. My inner child is crying out. He’s afraid that he’s not safe and that no one is going to protect him from his abuser. Interestingly enough the only thing that calms me down is hugging my favorite plushie. I feel like I’m 10 years old again and I’m terrified of my abuser and no one is there to protect me again but as a 32 year old transman. I’m not sure what I wanted out of this post. If anyone has experience with this much obliged.

We all go through things from time to time, and the sun might come out to shed some light to let you know that you'll be OK. Other times said trial could go on for years, and it feels like there is no end, no light in sight. I'm there at the moment. What's the most bothersome is the fact that this person is not exhibiting any sign of growth, movement, or light. I can change my mindset, I can do as much as I possibly can to make things easier. Eventually, you get tired of making lemonade out of the lemons that were thrown at you. If allowed, my mom would apologize every day for the rest of her life behind everything that's happened. It's not her fault to begin with. I'm determined to do what I need to do to survive. I am contending with frequent anxiety and nightmares more than usual. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Nightmares

Hi there.
I'm really tired right now, but I'm terrified of what could be waiting for me if I close my eyes. I'm also alone at the moment, which makes waking up from nightmares even scarier... It's even harder to destinguish between past and present, nightmare and reality, in the first moments.

Wanted to share to maybe feel less alone.

#PTSD #Nightmares #Trauma