I'm beginning to realize this ongoing headache I've had for the past 2 months is certainly due to depression. I know I need my meds adjusted. I know I need counseling. I know this is a dangerous point in my life. Thoughts that I have fought against are coming back. I just don't want to be here.
I'm just really giving up, when I can get to the Dr I get no help. #Noinsurance #Fibromyalgia #TetheredSpinalCord #cantwork #painisrelentless #treatedbad
I have been out of work for over 3 years due to my disease. I had an established career as a Stage Manger for #SecondCity and was there for over ten years before my illness took away my ability to do my job. Leaving my job was like taking away a big part of my identity. Don’t get me started about how Social Security Disability makes it difficult for people with mental illness.
I am lucky. My husband knew something was wrong and asked if I would see a #Psychiatrist I went with trepidation fearing I would be instantly hospitalized. I wasn’t. My psychiatrist insisted I find a therapist. I will write one day about how my husband got a recommendation for a therapist who turns out I dated 20 years ago and he dumped me over AOL Instant messenger. Needless to say I had him find me another one.
For 3 years I went to therapy for the most part twice a week. Recently went down to once a week. I saw my psychiatrist once a month, and I did a 30 week group therapy with other people dealing with child hood sexual abuse. I have been present and worked hard, unfortunately with little success. My husband disagrees but I am no closer to returning to work and I feel exhausted.
My husband was on a grant that ended in September and he was overwhelmed and in a depressed state. He missed the deadline for Cobra and we currently have no insurance.
A few weeks ago he told me he was done with his antidepressant and couldn’t afford to pay for it out of pocket. I made sure to get 3 months of all my pills before his grant ended. The beginning of November, I too have ran out. I have asked my psychiatrist if he has any samples; he didn’t. I contacted the drug manufacturers of each of my pills and most I got was a card to pay my copay, which does no good without insurance. I am currently applying for Medicare.
My therapist is asking for payment for past sessions, which he certainly deserves. Now I don’t feel comfortable seeing him until I am all paid up because each new session will add up quickly.
I am going through some major withdrawal and I am spiraling into a place I don’t/can’t go to. I am lost and would appreciate any advice. I feel like I have exhausted my resources but maybe someone will have advice I haven’t tried. I appreciate you taking the time to read this.
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