Made it through the day but I wish I hadn't i still keep going round and round in my head about everything. I still feel like my youngest brother hates me for being the way I am. That he and the rest of my family don't love me and never did. This is so different then ever before I don't want to kill myself to make my dad or mom or any of my abusers pay, now its just cuz there isn't a place for me in my own family let alone the world. The saddest part to me is it's not that I couldn't have been saved it's that no one ever cared enough to save me. Ixtab is calling me whispering sweetly in my ear "come with me there is no more pain here" I can feel her warm embrace comforting me. I don't even know why I am bothering to post this because #noonnecares on here either. I'm just so tired. Tired of giving well others take. Tired of caring when no one cares. But most of all tired of being brave and soldiering on just to keep doing it, maybe that's my purpose maybe I'm just the sacrifice so that others don't have to feel this pain. Anyway I'm going to go sleep. I hope I don't wake up tomorrow. #suicidal #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #CPTSD #PTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #alone #tired #Broken #NoOneCaresAboutMe #Ijustwanttodie