“Many people get excited when they receive an invitation to an event; I get nauseous.
“I’m having some girlfriend over for wine and cheese evening. Would you like to come?”
I was touched to be included in this recent texted invite from a client. Part of me really wanted to go, especially since she’s a lovely person and the majority of my social interaction right now is with my preschooler. But the thought of walking into a group of people I didn’t know and making small talk was overwhelming.
“Thank you so much for the invitation, but I have plans that night,” I fibbed. At the time I justified it to myself (she didn’t need to know my plans were watching Netflix ― alone), but I still feel terrible about lying. I’m convinced the guilt will be written across my face the next time I see her.
Many people get excited when they receive an invitation to an event; I get nauseous. Not because of the people involved (usually), but because there are people involved. Although I didn’t learn to identify it as such until the past several years, I have suffered from social anxiety my entire life…”
Read whole article by Kelly McQuillan from Huntington Post:
I never knew I suffered from social anxiety til one day my shrink mentioned it, he prescribed me a med for anxiety but I usually don’t remember to take it. Instead I often decline invitations or worse cancel at the last moment. I have even gone to the parking lot at a event, battled my fears and finally lost and turned around and gone home. I try to give myself grace and accept that it really is good self care to avoid situations that really stress me out and make me feel uncomfortable. But then I feel weak, my self judgment can creep in…”If they only knew…?” These days I try to be gentle with myself and honor that I am listening to my overwhelming emotions and taking care of myself. I don’t owe these people anything…I have to take care of myself, be gentle on myself and listen to how I am feeling!
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