Parkinson's Disease

Hi, my name is MyGirlies2024. I've been diagnosed with Parkinson's in May of this year.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #Fibromyalgia #parkinson 'sDisease

Three words that's all it took, three. And truth is they keep changing:
I am sorry
I am sorry for the sounds, that continue to disrupt your afternoon. I am sorry for the screams you may hear when I'm locked into a spasm. I am sorry for the grimace, it's not you, I swear. For my arm locking up, or outrageously moving from a tremor. And now it's become almost a ritual at this point, half-way through a grocery run I can feel my body do a jig with the cart. All the while lying point blank to my husband that I am fine. He sees the stressors, he knows I'm lying. But I hate that walk back, that feeling of defeat as I Igor-walk back out to the car. It's a wierd feeling of complete vulnerability of feeling like I arrived at school naked. And all I can see are people watching this wierd act of what once was an artist, a poet, a novelist. Well, I know they aren't really looking. And that I probably don't take up a miniscule of brain matter. But that anxiety is present all the time, everyday. Maybe I'm a narcissist.

I am sorry for that annoying scrape sound you might hear. That sound of shoe (or in my case slipper, cause sneakers can't easily slide) rubbing the asphalt of the parking lot. I promise, I hate it just as much as you do. It is the strangest feeling and extremely sobering to witness your self-decline. And since this has started I have slowly felt myself dwindle. The self I spent thirty-six years working on. What I once knew so well, completely altered and all I can do is watch/feel it happen. I am sorry for the bags under my eyes. I don't sleep through most nights. Something is always waking me up. Sometimes I will let the weight of my eyelids win and the sleep will fall over me like confetti or glitter. Sometimes I let the sleep win.

I feel guilty:
Three words that's all it took, I feel guilty for making my husband have to take so many extra steps just to meet me halfway. I feel guilty for tricking him, I am so different from when we first met. It's all been different since the symptoms started showing. But no matter when or where I am the soft assurance of his voice has never changed. He is continuously in my corner, fighting for me. I feel guilty for making my family worry, for getting angry at my mom because she refuses to believe. I can't blame her for pushing it to be something else, I'm her daughter. I feel guilty for causing my beautiful niece to hesitate in my presence. For exposing her to a spasm or tremor or an uncontrollable facial tic. I don't ever want to frighten or scare her.

I feel guilty for not taking advantage prior to this diagnosis. For not enjoying the smaller things as much. A good night of sleep, a walk, exercise, for when it came easier. There are so many other words I could use to describe this event, to describe the depression and confusion. But I'll use just three more right now:

I have Parkinson's.

#BipolarDepression #MentalHealth

Hi, my name is angelbutterfly74. I'm here because
My husband has Parkinson's, we're trying to learn to deal with losing friends and family because of this. #MightyTogether

I don’t know what you are going through but I truly do wish you all a life full of joy, peace, and happiness at all times. May life get better and better for you each day in every way! I hope and pray only positivity comes your way, nothing negative that you don’t want. You deserve to be happy! May you all be well.

#CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Disability #Anxiety #ChronicIllness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Bipolar1 #Bipolar2 #AnorexiaNervosa #Trauma #PTSD #Selfharm #SuicidalThoughts #BipolarDisorder #CheerMeOn #MajorDepressiveDisorder #MightyTogether #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ADHD #Addiction #SocialAnxiety #Stroke #Autism #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Cancer #SeizureDisorder #Scoliosis #SensoryProcessingDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ThyroidCancer #SocialAnxietyDisorder #SleepApnea #Epilepsy #EatingDisorders #EatingDisorder #SeparationAnxiety #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #ChronicFatigue #Fainting #PanicDisorder #PanicAttack #PanicAttacks #ParkinsonsDisease #ChildLoss #ChronicDailyHeadache #Fibromyalgia #FoodAllergies #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #CysticFibrosis #Migraine #MightyPoets #MedicationInducedMovementDisorders #MaleReproductiveCancers #MyCondition #MoreDiseases #MoodDisorders #Misophonia #Mania #MyCondition

#I'm sorry that I have been falling behind in my postings. July has been a tough month for me. Most days I have been sleeping and not really leaving my bed.

I have a series of doctor visits coming up that will determine if I have Lewy Body Dementia. This is a spectrum involving the mix of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. At the same time as this, I am also in the process of tests to see if I have Intracranial Hypertension. That is where too much spinal fluid is building up for whatever reason and filling areas in my skull damaging my brain.

I am not in denial. In fact, I feel that these two conditions have been the closest to the truth in my three year journey to finding the truth about my health.

I'm scared. I see my father, who has Alzheimer's, decline slowly and he is so angry. I don't want to be angry and mean.

I also have accepted that I need mobility aids. I cleaned up my grandfather's walker and crutches. I saw a wooden walking stick; very fancy. I felt like Frodo Baggins. I can get into using that.

Another thing I am scared about is forgetting people I love. I don't think that will happen anytime soon, but it could be my future and I don't want that.

Thanks for reading my ramble.

#Dementia #Depression #ParkinsonsDisease #AlzheimersDisease #MentalHealth #Grief