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How to Overcome Negative Emotions with Compassion
For most of my life, I’ve had a negative view of myself, my actions, and my behaviors. I’ve always been my harshest critic, so when I feel like I’m failing in some aspect of life, I put all the shame and blame on my own shoulders, telling myself over and over again that I messed up. All of that doubt and negativity only makes me feel worse about myself.
As someone who is deeply empathetic, I know how heavy emotions can become when they continually build up. Sometimes it’s stress. Sometimes it’s sensory overload, disappointment, loneliness, or the heaviness of carrying too much for too long. When these feelings show up, it’s so easy to spiral into self-criticism or shut down completely.
I’m still in the process of learning to cut myself some slack. To give myself patience, grace, and acceptance for being my true self. With the help of therapy, research, and outside support, I’ve tried implementing what I’ve learned and applying it to my daily life.
It’s difficult to give yourself leniency when you’ve always placed yourself in a corner of negativity. But it’s something that I’m trying really hard to work on.
So, when negative feelings start to rise, these are the five go-to coping tools I keep coming back to.
1. Grounding Myself in the Present Moment
This one can be very difficult for me because I’m so reactive. My emotions are always at the forefront of my being. They’re waiting at the surface, ready to explode at any given moment. I get triggered very easily, so when someone judges me or criticizes me in some way, I react instantly with emotional rage. And that rage often stems from my negative self-view.
So, when my mind starts racing or I feel emotionally flooded, grounding myself is the first thing I turn to. I’ve learned just how much negative feelings can make everything feel bigger than it is. They can pull me into overthinking, spiraling thoughts, or that painful feeling of being completely disconnected from myself.
Grounding myself helps me come back to the present. It reminds me that I’m here, and I can take things one moment at a time.
One of the easiest grounding tools I use is the 5-4-3-2-1 method:
5 things I can see
4 things I can touch
3 things I can hear
2 things I can smell
1 thing I can taste
This might sound ridiculous or too simple to some, but sometimes the simplest tools are the most effective. On hard days, I also find comfort in sensory grounding—things like wrapping myself up in my weighted blanket to feel safe and secure, lounging in sweatpants and an oversized hoodie to feel cozy, or simply standing outside and breathing in the fresh air.
I’ve noticed that grounding doesn’t erase the feeling. It just helps me feel a little steadier inside of it.
2. Writing It Out Instead of Holding It In
Writing has always been my outlet. When I bottle up my emotions, they tend to get louder. They sit heavily in my mind, my body, and my soul. They weigh on me in ways that leave me feeling emotionally exhausted. But when I write, I create a space where those emotions can be released in a healthier way, instead of turning into the anger or frustration I’d usually feel.
Sometimes, I journal in full paragraphs. Other times, I jot down a few sentences or scribble random thoughts in a notebook. Either way, it helps bring me back down to earth. It helps clear out some space in my mind. I try to refill that space with compassion and reassurance that everything will be okay. I tell myself I need these moments of writing to heal in ways that other things can’t always provide.
When I don’t know where to start, I come back to prompts like:
Right now, I feel…
What triggered this feeling?
What do I need in this moment?
What is this emotion trying to tell me?
What would I say to a friend who felt like this?
There’s something incredibly healing about getting the words out of your head and onto the page. It reminds me that my feelings are real, but they don’t have to stay trapped inside of me.
3. Doing One Small Comforting Thing
Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed or emotionally low, everything feels heavy. On those days, I try not to pressure myself into doing too much. I’ve learned just how valuable it can be to do less and lean into the small things that bring me comfort.
If I pressure myself into doing too much, I know I’ll eventually break down. So sometimes, it’s just one small act of comfort that goes a long way.
That might mean:
curling up under a soft blanket
putting on cozy clothes
listening to my favorite music
stepping outside for fresh air
watching a comfort show
eating something warm and nourishing
Choosing one of these over pushing yourself too hard is powerful. When everything inside of you is screaming not to slow down, it’s empowering to tell yourself no. Because when you do that, you’re choosing yourself.
Tiny rituals like these might seem insignificant, but they help create a sense of emotional safety. They remind me that I can still care for myself, even when I don’t feel like myself. And honestly, I think we underestimate how healing small comforts can be.
4. Moving the Emotion Through My Body
I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Since I carry them both within and without, I often leave myself vulnerable to potential heartache and pain. Having that kind of vulnerability makes you experience emotions in a different way. It’s more intense, more consuming, and it can make me want to burrow back into my shell.
For me, it’s the anxiety that makes me jittery and restless. The sadness that feels like I’m constantly walking around with a raincloud over my head. The stress shows up as extreme tension in my shoulders and a numbing sensation that radiates through my whole body. When I stay frozen in my feelings for too long, they quickly pile up.
That’s why movement has become one of my go-to coping tools.
It’s not because I’m trying to “work out” the feeling or force myself into a better mood, but because movement helps release some of the tension my body is holding.
Sometimes that looks like:
taking a short walk
stretching for a few minutes
shaking out or massaging the tension in my hands, arms, or shoulders
taking a warm shower and letting the water calm me
simply standing up and moving from one room to another
I’ve learned that I don’t need intense exercise for it to help. Negative feelings are meant to move through us, not stay trapped inside forever.
5. Speaking to Myself with Compassion Instead of Criticism
This one might be the hardest, but it’s also one of the most important.
When negative feelings show up, my inner critic has a way of getting louder. Suddenly, I’m not just sad or anxious—I’m judging myself for being sad or anxious. I start thinking things like:
Why am I like this?
I should be handling this better.
I’m too sensitive.
I’m overreacting.
I should be over this by now.
And if I’m being honest, that kind of self-talk only makes everything worse.
I’ve had to learn how to pause and speak to myself with more care. It’s not fake positivity or pretending I’m okay when I’m not. It’s simply being honest and compassionate.
Instead of tearing myself down, I try to say:
I’m having a hard moment, and that’s okay.
My feelings are valid, even if they’re messy.
I’m overwhelmed, not weak.
I don’t need to have it all figured out today.
This feeling is hard, but it won’t last forever.
I think a lot of us have spent years being hard on ourselves, especially those of us who were taught to push through, stay quiet, or keep everything hidden beneath the surface. But healing begins when we stop punishing ourselves for having feelings in the first place.
"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." — Buddha
#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Neurodiversity #ADHD #Autism #selfcare
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