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Embracing Self-Kindness After Mistakes

Personally, I’ve never been good at showing myself any type of kindness when I make a mistake. My natural instinct isn’t to forgive myself. Instead, I internalize it and let it consume me entirely.

It’s always been difficult for me to let go of things I’ve done wrong. Mistakes feel deeply personal — almost like a reflection of who I am rather than what simply happened. When I make a mistake, I don’t just feel disappointment; I feel criticized, rejected, and judged. Even when no one says a word, I imagine their disapproval, and it feels like my character is being attacked.

When Shame Takes Over

Criticism is something I’ve never handled well. Honestly, I already know my flaws — I live with them every day — so when someone else points them out, it feels like rubbing salt on a fresh wound. I replay it over and over, thinking about what I could’ve done differently, how I should’ve known better, and why I can’t just get it right.

One moment that’s stayed with me for years happened when I worked as a store associate at a restaurant. I was carrying a tray of hot soup when it suddenly slipped out of my hands, spilling onto one of the guests.

In that instant, my heart dropped. I felt horrible — horrified, embarrassed, and downright like an awful person. I panicked, completely overwhelmed by guilt and shame.

I remember rushing outside to regain my composure, tears streaming down my face as I tried to calm myself down. I was crying hysterically, in full meltdown mode, feeling like I had ruined everything. I think my manager may have let me leave early that day, but even after I got home, I couldn’t stop replaying the moment.

Still to this day, it remains one of my most embarrassing and panic-filled memories — one of those moments where your body remembers the feeling long after your mind tries to move on.

The Weight of Holding On

When I mess up and make a mistake, I don’t just move on. I carry it with me for minutes, hours, days, sometimes even years. Once I make a mistake, I never forget it — because in my mind, remembering means I’ll never repeat it.

It’s a form of self-protection, but also a form of self-punishment. My intentions are good, but the impact is heavy. Carrying shame doesn’t make me better — it only makes me smaller.

Learning to Show Myself Grace

Lately, I’ve been trying to give myself more leniency and grace. I’m learning that mistakes don’t have to define me — they can instead guide me. I’ve realized that most feedback is meant to be helpful, not personal.

Sometimes, showing kindness to myself means reminding myself that I’m only human — and I’m allowed to make mistakes. Other times, I’ll cry it out and let the emotions pass through instead of holding them hostage inside.

Often, I still want to run away from the discomfort or overanalyze every little detail, but I’m learning to pause, breathe, and speak gently to myself instead of tearing myself down.

Practical Ways to Practice Self-Kindness

If you also struggle to forgive yourself, here are a few things that help me soften around my mistakes:

1. Name the emotion, not the identity.

Instead of saying “I’m so stupid,” try “I’m feeling embarrassed right now.” It reminds you that emotions are temporary, not definitions of who you are.

2. Offer yourself the words you’d say to a friend.

If a friend made the same mistake, would you judge them harshly — or comfort them? You deserve that same compassion.

3. Breathe before you spiral.

Take a few slow, intentional breaths. This helps calm the nervous system and quiet that flood of self-blame before it grows louder.

4. Let yourself release it physically.

Cry, stretch, journal, or take a walk. Your body needs a way to let go of the tension your mind holds onto.

5. Rewrite the story.

Instead of “I failed,” try “I learned.” Mistakes often carry wisdom — if you let them.

The Gentle Art of Forgiveness

I’m learning that growth isn’t about perfection — it’s about compassion. I’ll always make mistakes, but I don’t have to let them define me.

Kindness, I’m finding, begins with the way I speak to myself when things go wrong. And maybe that’s where true healing starts — in the quiet moments when I choose to forgive myself.#MentalHealth #selfcare #SocialAnxiety

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Your Story Matters

Every story has ups and downs — and every moment counts. 💙

What’s one thing you’re doing for yourself today?

#MentalHealth #selfcare #Journaling

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Buddhist Practice

One of the things I do for self-care is practice Buddhism. It is calming, grounding, and centering. The philosophy focuses on the middle way. It does not focus on extremes. The philosophy constantly reminds you to be mindful in all your activities, and to think things through before you fly off the handle and react to something. It teaches you to live intentionally, and to act as a citizen of the world while remaining active at a local level. I find the rituals involved in Buddhist practice help relive anxiety and, to a certain extent, depression. I have been practicing Buddhism for about 17 years, and I find that it makes me a happier and better person.#Buddhism #Depression #Spirituality #selfcare

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Day 2

Almost missed posting today. Fridays are a day off and I try to catch up on sleep. True, I’ve heard it said that you can’t make up for sleep that you’ve missed, but that doesn’t mean you should forgo recovery. Your body is affected by lost sleep: cardiovascular stress, lack of energy, and your cognition suffers to the point where you are effectively sleep “drunk”. Not good for keeping your self safe.

I could go on and on about the nuances that are never mentioned after this idea of “making up for lost sleep” is mentioned, but just realize that there are often times factors that are conveniently left out in favor of pushing a “grindset” paradigm.

I have nothing against working hard. But I do know that there are many people who have tremendous trouble in slowing down to tend to their own needs. Longevity is just as important as operating at top speed, and you cannot expect to run at 100% output every day. You have to take back time for your health, and you should.

Music that comes to mind is Kero Kero Bonito’s song, “Break” from their Bonito Generation album.

Track: m.youtube.com/watch

#selfcare #Anxiety #offdays

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There are many details of my life that I would like to pay more attention to. I feel like we spend so much of our time caught up in what needs to be done that we rarely pause to notice what’s already here. Sometimes, the things that make us feel the most connected are hiding in plain sight, waiting for us to pay attention.

The way my body feels.

I spent a lot of time ignoring the signals my body sends me. I’ll sit for hours on end without even moving a muscle. I push through the exhaustion because my work feels more important than rest. I’ll drink a few cups of coffee throughout the day, even though my body is yearning for water. I’ll ignore eating all together if I’m too hyper focused on something. And I have a hard time treating my body the way that it should be treated—with care.

I know that if I do start paying attention to my body and notice those subtle clues. A tension headache might indicate that it’s time to close the computer and take a step away from the screen. Heavy eyelids remind me that sleep shouldn’t be ignored or put off because my brain wants to continue scrolling. All I know is that if I were to really slow down and listen to my body, I can work with it instead of against it.

The quiet moments.

Let’s face it, life gets loud and hectic sometimes, and it’s hard to find moments to get some peace and quiet. But for me, since my energy runs thin, I really try to have downtown every day. It’s not always easy, but if I don’t take time to just be alone, then I’ll be too anxious and overwhelmed to function. That’s why I relish in the small, simpler moments.

I enjoy moments where I can just sip my coffee in the morning without any distractions, or step outside and bask in the crisp, cool air. Sometimes even sitting in silence and letting my thoughts settle instead of rushing to fill the space with noise. Moments like those are when I remember that sometimes the smallest things, are the most beautiful and meaningful.

The words I use with myself.

This one could use the most work. The way that I speak to myself shapes my mood and my motivation. I have a problem taming my inner critic. It often tells me that I’m worthless, useless, and incapable of accomplishing things. I’m just always so critical and hard on myself that it’s really hard to see the positive strengths that I possess. My inner voice slips into criticism without me even realizing it. The thing is, I always make sure I treat others with the upmost respect, so why can’t I do the same for myself?

I think it all stems from low self-esteem and lack of confidence. I’ve always been very quiet and shy, and it’s been challenging to navigate that in a world that praises loud voices. I don’t feel like I’m accepted in society because I’m so different, and I would like to be able to see myself in the light that many others do.

Paying more attention to the way I speak to myself means slowing down to really notice the tone of my inner dialogue. Instead of letting those harsh words spew out immediately, I can try to redirect them and replace them with more positive affirmations. Like, doing the best I can with what I have, and reminding myself that progress takes time.

I don’t do this as often as I’d like to, but I’ve been practicing speaking kindly to myself. I’ve been holding on to the notion that I’m strong, capable, and worthy of anything. My confidence grows little by little every time I compliment myself or pat myself on the back for doing something brave and out of my comfort zone. It’s all about treating myself with the same compassion I try to extend to others.

The people who show up.

Sometimes life gets busy, and you forget to check in with the people that you love. I know I often go days, weeks even without reaching out to someone. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that it honestly slips my mind. I do love when people send me funny memes or messages that remind me I’m cared for. I send some back too and that’s how I know our relationship is solid and that sometimes further communication isn’t necessary.

Gestures like a quick text message might seem small, but they matter deeply. It reminds me that I’m not alone even though my mind often convinces me otherwise. Paying attention to who actually shows up for me helps me focus on gratitude instead of a lack thereof. It makes me really think about who is there for me and who isn’t. And it’s made me reevaluate certain relationship, but knowing I have my people softens the loneliness on hard days.

The details we overlook are often the ones that carry us through the everyday. It might seem like ordinary things, but they’re anything but. I notice that when I show up for myself, I start to live life more fully and authentically.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”-Robert Brault

#MentalHealth #selfcare #TheLittleThings #Life #fyp #Neurodiversity #Blog #blogpost

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Self-Sabotage – Why Do We Do This to Ourselves?

Why do I always feel the need to ruin things before they even end? Why do I assume the worst?

These questions echo in my head every time my imagination runs wild—creating scenarios that never happened, outcomes that don’t exist. All based on… assumptions. Assumptions born from past experiences, heartbreak, disappointment.

And then what happens? I make myself angry. I start plotting, preparing for retaliation, planning ways to regain control. Acting as if the world is against me. But why?

The truth is, this often happens when you’ve spent most of your life in survival mode—fighting for crumbs of happiness, constantly on guard. You build walls to protect yourself. Even when you try to tear them down, they rise again in an instant, taller than before.

It’s exhausting. It feels like a never-ending cycle of healing → relapsing → healing again, until you finally defeat the “end boss” of your own game: your fears, your triggers, your old patterns.

I’m still in that fight. Some days I win. Other days I fall back into the trap. And if you’ve ever been here too, you know exactly what I mean.

If you’re walking the same path—trying to break free from self-sabotage—what helps you? How do you quiet the storm inside your head before it turns into a hurricane?

Let’s talk about it.

#selfcare #selfsabotage #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety

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Taking Small Steps Together

Hi everyone! Excited to join the 52 Small Things community. I’m looking forward to taking small steps each week to boost my self-care and connect with others on the same journey. Here’s to progress, no matter how small! 💙

#52SmallThings #selfcare #Onestepatatime

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My Go-To Coping Skills

My coping skills keep me grounded when life feels overwhelming. I rely on deep breathing, journaling my thoughts, and taking quiet walks to clear my mind. Coloring and listening to calming music also help me find peace in tough moments. What are your favorite ways to cope? 💙

#MyCopingSkills #selfcare ##MentalHealth MentalHealth

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Not Lazy — Just Exhausted

People see me resting and think I’m lazy.

They don’t see the invisible battle I fight just to get out of bed.

They don’t see how much it takes to smile, to function, to seem OK.

I’m not lazy. I’m surviving.

Have you ever been misunderstood like this? Share below. Let’s remind each other: rest is not weakness.#MentalHealth #ChronicFatigue #selfcare #CrohnsDisease

#Anxiety

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Some days are better than others

I’m struggling a lot these days with keeping a consistent routine and getting more activities into my days. I’ll plan my week and end up cancelling plans the day of a lot of the time. I have the intention to do one thing a day and I find it hard to keep up with that. I had to stop working last June and I thought I’d be working again by now, but it hasn’t happened. Today I just want to talk and not feel so alone. Yesterday I woke up with a bad headache that lasted all day and I didn’t do much, and it seems to have carried over into today and my energy and motivation are low and I’m having another day of not doing much of anything. It’s a cycle that is really hard to break out of, and it seems like when I start to make progress I’ll regress and not stick to a routine like I want to.

There’s an appointment scheduled tomorrow morning that I really hope I make it to.

Thanks for reading.

#BipolarDepression #selfcare

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