selfcare

Well-being is built through small choices that care for your mind and body.

#MentalHealth #selfcare #FamilyAndFriends

🌷 Choose to bloom 🌷

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#MentalHealth #classes #selfcare

What do you wish you could do more every day?

If there’s one thing I wish I could do more of every day, it’s practice more patience. I know it sounds a little off topic, but for me, the key to doing the things you enjoy every day starts with self-care. You have to feel mentally capable enough to follow through with daily activities. For me, that starts with patience—patience to get through each day without losing my composure.

I wish that I had more patience with people, with situations I can’t control, and honestly, with myself. Patience is the key to better self-care. It also tremendously helps my mental health.

Lately, I’ve been more impatient than usual. I’ve recognized that I’m more irritable, more vocal, and more on edge. I have a difficult time controlling my reactions when I feel overwhelmed.

A Recent Experience

I went to get blood work done the other day. I’d made an appointment, so I assumed it would be a simple in-and-out. But when I walked into the waiting room, it was flooded with people. I became overwhelmed and overstimulated very quickly, and it led to anger and frustration.

Some people were taking too long to register and sign in, so I stood behind them, mumbling and asking if they needed help. I think I even muttered, “This is ridiculous.” Looking back, I know I should’ve shown more patience. Everyone had to wait too, not just me. But in that moment, I couldn’t help but verbally express my irritability.

There was no seating, so I stood by the door waiting to be called, just watching all the patients ahead of me. I can get very vocal if people are called before me, especially if I know it should be my turn.

Being More Vocal

Being vocal about things is something new to me. Usually, I’m very quiet and shy, but lately, I’ve realized that I’m starting to care less about what other people think of me. If I’m feeling a certain way, I’ll make it known.

I think the real issue here is that people genuinely stress me out. I’ve always felt very uncomfortable and intimidated by others. I think it’s because of my sensitivity and my worries of rejection or judgment. Truthfully, I sometimes say that I don’t like people, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I respect everyone I come across unless they give me a reason to react. I’ve always just wanted to be likeable and accepted. It all really stems from my mind and my insecurities.

I’ve noticed that when I get angry at others, it’s because I have underlying issues with my self-esteem and confidence. At the end of the day, it isn’t the people—it’s the way I treat myself.

What I Want for Myself

I don’t want to be angry and frustrated every time I leave the house. I don’t want every outing to feel like something I have to brace myself for. The thing I want most is to feel more comfortable going places without feeling so anxious, irritable, or overwhelmed.

I want to go to the park for a walk, go out to eat, and spend time with friends—typical everyday activities that I want to enjoy. I want to do normal things without feeling so on edge the entire time.

Why Patience Matters

That’s why I keep thinking about patience. I think having more of it would help me do the things I want to do without feeling like I’m constantly ready to snap. It would help me breathe before I react. It would help me slow down before frustration takes over.

To me, patience is a virtue. It isn’t about pretending to be fine when I’m not. It isn’t about forcing myself to be agreeable. It’s about making space between what I feel and how I respond.

I know I’m not going to get it right every time. There will still be long waits, loud places, rude people, and moments that push me over the edge. But I’m realizing that patience isn’t just something I need for other people. It’s something I need for myself too.

And right now, I think that’s something I need more of.

What’s one area of your life where a little more patience could bring you more peace?

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” — Joyce Meyer

#MentalHealth #selfcare #Neurodiversity #ADHD #AutismSpectrumDisorder

There’s a kind of exhaustion that doesn’t always look like exhaustion. It doesn’t always look like tears, canceled plans, or staying in bed all day. Sometimes it looks like getting up anyway, getting into your daily routine, and handling tasks and responsibilities. Doing everything while internally feeling like you’re slowly drowning.

For me, I became very good at appearing “fine.” On the outside, people probably see someone quiet, reserved, and a little shy. Someone calm enough. Someone who kept to herself. But what they didn’t see was how much energy I was expending to look that way.

People don’t see the constant overthinking, anxiety, sensory overwhelm, or emotional heaviness I carried underneath. They didn’t see how often I was smiling while feeling completely disconnected inside.

The Girl Who Learned to Hide

Before I understood that I was neurodivergent, I thought my sensitivity, emotional reactivity, and constant overwhelm were things to be ashamed of. I believed it was unacceptable to be so emotionally fragile. So I learned to adapt, to blend in, and to perform “fine.” But that performance was exhausting.

I remember a time when I tried immensely to stay hidden. In first grade, there was a classmate who constantly teased me. He followed me around calling me names, and sometimes he got physical, pushing me, grabbing me, even once holding scissors threateningly near my eyes. It was terrifying and hurtful.

One day, he took it too far. I had left the classroom to use the bathroom, and when I returned, he was standing outside the door. He had been disruptive in class, so the teacher asked him to step outside for a few minutes—but he refused to let me in. I tried to push past him, but he blocked the door.

I became so frustrated that I had a meltdown and screamed for the teacher. The last thing I wanted was to cause a scene, but I felt trapped and unsafe. Eventually, I went to the principal’s office to make a complaint. To my surprise, he was pulled out of school.

On his last day, he publicly apologized. Though his apology was kind, it left me feeling painfully exposed. I felt visible in a way I had worked so hard to avoid. My face flushed, my heart raced, my body went numb—I completely shut down. I had revealed too much of myself: the crying, the fear, the insecurities, all laid bare. The experience left me emotionally drained, and I knew I needed to find ways to hide parts of myself to survive.

That moment, more than any other, taught me how to mask, how to tuck away emotions and reactions, and how to perform “okay” even when I was anything but. It was a survival skill, but one that came at a cost: quiet exhaustion that no one could see. That pattern of hiding would follow me well into adulthood, shaping how I navigated everything from school to work to relationships.

The Caregiver’s Layer

Being a caregiver adds another layer to this hidden exhaustion.

When someone depends on you, you don’t get to fall apart when you need to. Meals, appointments, medication, and emotional support all keep moving. There have been days when I feel maxed out before the day even begins, but I still have to keep going.

Every day takes a lot out of me. I work as my mom’s caregiver, which makes this exhaustion feel even more personal and emotionally heavy. She is nearly bedridden and requires constant care—not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. I’ve essentially become her therapist, comforting her, encouraging her to stay positive, and helping her push through each day. It takes an immense amount of energy to support someone else when you are quietly struggling yourself.

From the outside, I might look strong, composed, and ready for anything. But truthfully, I am falling apart.

When “I’m Fine” Isn’t Fine

For years, I used the phrase “I’m just tired” to explain almost everything. But often what I really meant was this: I was overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and desperately in need of quiet and rest.

I’m trapped in my mind all the time—thinking about everything and nothing at once. It’s like moving through an emotional fog too thick to find a way out.

Recently, I traveled to Portland to spend time with friends. Every day was filled with one activity after another, so it was constant go, go, go. Friends kept asking if I was okay, probably because my face told a different story than my actions. The whole time, I was keeping my cool, masking, pretending to be “fine.” But inside, I was mentally spent—collapsed in every way that mattered, even while my feet stayed on the ground. I wasn’t “fine.” I was tired, irritable, and constantly tense. What I truly needed was rest.

That trip reminded me that looking “fine” is not the same as feeling fine, and that my own well-being must come first, even when life keeps moving.’

Listening to Yourself

These days, I’m learning to listen to myself sooner—before full shutdown, before numbness, before burnout.

Recently, I went to see a friend’s band play. The show was great—their music always resonates with me—but the small venue and crowded space quickly heightened my anxiety. Afterward, we went to a bar and grill, but I was so exhausted that I left early, honoring what my mind and body were telling me: rest is necessary, not optional.

I notice when everything feels too loud, when small tasks feel heavy, and when I say “I’m fine” too quickly. I’m learning that just because I can push through something doesn’t mean I should.

The Quiet Kind of Healing

When invisible exhaustion creeps in, I try to return to what feels safe:

stepping away from noise

letting myself be quiet

eating something warm and comforting

watching a familiar show

journaling

allowing myself to do less without feeling guilty

If you’re someone who looks okay on the outside while quietly carrying more than most people realize, your exhaustion is still real. Just because you are functioning does not mean you are not struggling. Some of the most exhausted people are the ones who have become the most practiced at hiding it.

The healing begins when you stop pretending harder or pushing yourself harder. It’s found when you finally start telling yourself the truth.

When was the last time you paused to check in with yourself instead of pushing through? What does your ‘hidden exhaustion’ look like?

“Sometimes the strongest people are the ones who smile through silent pain, cry behind closed doors, and fight battles nobody knows about.” – Unknown

#MentalHealth #selfcare #ADHD #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Neurodiversity #Anxiety

It’s okay to slow down. You’re still moving forward.

#MentalHealth #Recovery #selfcare

For most of my life, I’ve had a negative view of myself, my actions, and my behaviors. I’ve always been my harshest critic, so when I feel like I’m failing in some aspect of life, I put all the shame and blame on my own shoulders, telling myself over and over again that I messed up. All of that doubt and negativity only makes me feel worse about myself.

As someone who is deeply empathetic, I know how heavy emotions can become when they continually build up. Sometimes it’s stress. Sometimes it’s sensory overload, disappointment, loneliness, or the heaviness of carrying too much for too long. When these feelings show up, it’s so easy to spiral into self-criticism or shut down completely.

I’m still in the process of learning to cut myself some slack. To give myself patience, grace, and acceptance for being my true self. With the help of therapy, research, and outside support, I’ve tried implementing what I’ve learned and applying it to my daily life.

It’s difficult to give yourself leniency when you’ve always placed yourself in a corner of negativity. But it’s something that I’m trying really hard to work on.

So, when negative feelings start to rise, these are the five go-to coping tools I keep coming back to.

1. Grounding Myself in the Present Moment

This one can be very difficult for me because I’m so reactive. My emotions are always at the forefront of my being. They’re waiting at the surface, ready to explode at any given moment. I get triggered very easily, so when someone judges me or criticizes me in some way, I react instantly with emotional rage. And that rage often stems from my negative self-view.

So, when my mind starts racing or I feel emotionally flooded, grounding myself is the first thing I turn to. I’ve learned just how much negative feelings can make everything feel bigger than it is. They can pull me into overthinking, spiraling thoughts, or that painful feeling of being completely disconnected from myself.

Grounding myself helps me come back to the present. It reminds me that I’m here, and I can take things one moment at a time.

One of the easiest grounding tools I use is the 5-4-3-2-1 method:

5 things I can see

4 things I can touch

3 things I can hear

2 things I can smell

1 thing I can taste

This might sound ridiculous or too simple to some, but sometimes the simplest tools are the most effective. On hard days, I also find comfort in sensory grounding—things like wrapping myself up in my weighted blanket to feel safe and secure, lounging in sweatpants and an oversized hoodie to feel cozy, or simply standing outside and breathing in the fresh air.

I’ve noticed that grounding doesn’t erase the feeling. It just helps me feel a little steadier inside of it.

2. Writing It Out Instead of Holding It In

Writing has always been my outlet. When I bottle up my emotions, they tend to get louder. They sit heavily in my mind, my body, and my soul. They weigh on me in ways that leave me feeling emotionally exhausted. But when I write, I create a space where those emotions can be released in a healthier way, instead of turning into the anger or frustration I’d usually feel.

Sometimes, I journal in full paragraphs. Other times, I jot down a few sentences or scribble random thoughts in a notebook. Either way, it helps bring me back down to earth. It helps clear out some space in my mind. I try to refill that space with compassion and reassurance that everything will be okay. I tell myself I need these moments of writing to heal in ways that other things can’t always provide.

When I don’t know where to start, I come back to prompts like:

Right now, I feel…

What triggered this feeling?

What do I need in this moment?

What is this emotion trying to tell me?

What would I say to a friend who felt like this?

There’s something incredibly healing about getting the words out of your head and onto the page. It reminds me that my feelings are real, but they don’t have to stay trapped inside of me.

3. Doing One Small Comforting Thing

Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed or emotionally low, everything feels heavy. On those days, I try not to pressure myself into doing too much. I’ve learned just how valuable it can be to do less and lean into the small things that bring me comfort.

If I pressure myself into doing too much, I know I’ll eventually break down. So sometimes, it’s just one small act of comfort that goes a long way.

That might mean:

curling up under a soft blanket

putting on cozy clothes

listening to my favorite music

stepping outside for fresh air

watching a comfort show

eating something warm and nourishing

Choosing one of these over pushing yourself too hard is powerful. When everything inside of you is screaming not to slow down, it’s empowering to tell yourself no. Because when you do that, you’re choosing yourself.

Tiny rituals like these might seem insignificant, but they help create a sense of emotional safety. They remind me that I can still care for myself, even when I don’t feel like myself. And honestly, I think we underestimate how healing small comforts can be.

4. Moving the Emotion Through My Body

I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Since I carry them both within and without, I often leave myself vulnerable to potential heartache and pain. Having that kind of vulnerability makes you experience emotions in a different way. It’s more intense, more consuming, and it can make me want to burrow back into my shell.

For me, it’s the anxiety that makes me jittery and restless. The sadness that feels like I’m constantly walking around with a raincloud over my head. The stress shows up as extreme tension in my shoulders and a numbing sensation that radiates through my whole body. When I stay frozen in my feelings for too long, they quickly pile up.

That’s why movement has become one of my go-to coping tools.

It’s not because I’m trying to “work out” the feeling or force myself into a better mood, but because movement helps release some of the tension my body is holding.

Sometimes that looks like:

taking a short walk

stretching for a few minutes

shaking out or massaging the tension in my hands, arms, or shoulders

taking a warm shower and letting the water calm me

simply standing up and moving from one room to another

I’ve learned that I don’t need intense exercise for it to help. Negative feelings are meant to move through us, not stay trapped inside forever.

5. Speaking to Myself with Compassion Instead of Criticism

This one might be the hardest, but it’s also one of the most important.

When negative feelings show up, my inner critic has a way of getting louder. Suddenly, I’m not just sad or anxious—I’m judging myself for being sad or anxious. I start thinking things like:

Why am I like this?

I should be handling this better.

I’m too sensitive.

I’m overreacting.

I should be over this by now.

And if I’m being honest, that kind of self-talk only makes everything worse.

I’ve had to learn how to pause and speak to myself with more care. It’s not fake positivity or pretending I’m okay when I’m not. It’s simply being honest and compassionate.

Instead of tearing myself down, I try to say:

I’m having a hard moment, and that’s okay.

My feelings are valid, even if they’re messy.

I’m overwhelmed, not weak.

I don’t need to have it all figured out today.

This feeling is hard, but it won’t last forever.

I think a lot of us have spent years being hard on ourselves, especially those of us who were taught to push through, stay quiet, or keep everything hidden beneath the surface. But healing begins when we stop punishing ourselves for having feelings in the first place.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." — Buddha

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Neurodiversity #ADHD #Autism #selfcare

My emotions have always felt intense—loud, consuming, and hard to quiet. When life gets hard, those feelings can become overwhelming. Because I feel everything so deeply, some days simply getting through feels exhausting. On those days, I need words that comfort me, inspire me, and help me keep going when I feel like I have nothing left to give. Here are five quotes that have carried me through my hardest moments, along with the lessons they’ve taught me.

1. “Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.” — Edgar Allan Poe

I’ve always admired Edgar Allan Poe’s work. There’s something so haunting, thoughtful, and deeply poetic about the way he writes. His words have always spoken to me in a way that makes me feel seen.

This quote reminds me that my imagination, sensitivity, and deep thinking may actually be some of my greatest strengths—even when others don’t notice. Daydreaming and reflecting have always been a part of who I am. It’s how I escape when the harsh realities of the world feel too heavy. It’s where my creativity comes alive. I truly believe daydreaming is never wasted time—it’s how I process, create, and understand myself.

2. “To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” — E.E. Cummings

This quote has always spoken to me. I feel like it describes me perfectly. I’ve always had trouble being my authentic self. Growing up, I carried so many fears, anxiety, and self-doubt that it became nearly impossible to let go. I truly believed I wasn’t good enough as I was, so I masked most of my life just to get by.

Masking allowed me to become someone else—someone more acceptable, more fitting, I suppose. I became a blurry version of myself to fit into society’s mold. The world has a way of making you believe that if you’re not like everyone else, then you must be too different, too much, or somehow wrong.

But I was never happy living behind that mask. Internally, I was constantly battling with my true self, keeping her hidden. It was exhausting.

Once I learned I was neurodivergent, everything started to make sense. I finally understood why I had viewed myself so negatively. Now, I realize I’m fighting one of the toughest battles of my life—to be seen for who I really am. It takes courage, effort, and determination to step into the world as the person you were always meant to be. This quote reminds me that authenticity is one of the most important gifts you can give yourself.

3. “She remembered who she was and the game changed.” — Lalah Delia

This quote is a powerful reminder that self-awareness can be transformative. When I allow myself to pause and reconnect with who I truly am—my values, desires, and boundaries—it changes the way I interact with the world.

It reminds me that I am courageous, resilient, and determined to live my life authentically. No matter how behind I may feel, I’m still strong enough to pick myself back up. To never give up, to never quit, and to keep persevering, even when life feels heavy.

Being myself, quirks and all, changes everything.

4. “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.” — Brené Brown

This quote speaks to the power of vulnerability. I’ve always been a very vulnerable person. I wear my heart on my sleeve and carry a tremendous amount of empathy. But within that vulnerability also lives a lot of fear.

I’ve struggled to accept my life for what it is. I’m not who I thought I’d be, where I thought I’d be, or where I imagined my life would be by this point. Let’s just say I’m not proud of certain choices I’ve made, or of what I did—or didn’t—accomplish. Owning that vulnerable side of me and sharing my story has been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.

But acknowledging my struggles, mistakes, and growth is necessary. Standing in my truth and advocating for myself gives me the strength to move through life with more compassion instead of shame.

5. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

I used to dwell on the past. It consumed me. All I could think about were things I wish I’d done differently. Sometimes old memories resurface, and I play them on repeat, pretending I handled the situation better. But being stuck in the past—or worrying about the future—doesn’t give you time to focus on the present. It ties you down.

This quote reminds me that everything I’ve experienced—past mistakes, missed opportunities, or fears about the future—doesn’t define me. What matters most is what lies within. And inside, I’m resilient, compassionate, creative, and strong.

No matter how much weight I carry, there’s power within me that guides me forward. It’s the part of myself I keep discovering, trusting, and cultivating. This shapes my journey and reminds me that I’m capable of more than I give myself credit for.

Some days, it feels like the weight of everything might pull me under. But then I remember these words, these reminders, and I feel that quiet strength inside me. I’ve learned that dreaming, being myself, and facing my fears head-on aren’t something to be ashamed of. They’re what keep me moving forward, even when it’s hard.

I hope these quotes resonate with you in the same way they resonated with me, and that they remind you that strength is already inside you. Even when it feels small or hidden.

##Which of these quotes resonates most with you today?

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

#MentalHealth #Neurodiversity #selfcare #Anxiety #Depression #ADHD #AutismSpectrumDisorder

Dear 100-Year-Old Me,

If by some chance this letter finds you, I hope you’re happy, content, and inspired by the life you led.

I honestly wonder what it feels like to be 100. I imagine life moves at a much slower pace. I’ll bet your wisdom is deeper than anything I can fully understand at the moment. You’ve lived through more seasons than I can count from where I’m standing today. You’ve seen decades come and go and watched the world change in ways that are both beautiful and heartbreaking.

My hope is that by the time you read this, you’ve made peace with the parts of life that once felt frustrating, unstable, and confusing. Right now, I’m still in the process of figuring things out.

For most of my life, I felt like an outsider looking in. I spent years trying to understand my mind, my emotions, and why everything always felt so overwhelming. My late diagnoses finally gave me answers for things I didn’t even know I was searching for. It certainly didn’t fix everything, but it made all the difference.

Being able to better understand myself became the beginning of my healing journey. It invited me to learn, to seek help, and to find support among the people closest to me. And do you know what? You received a lot of acceptance and care—the kind you were always searching for but never quite found before. You learned who you really are and got to know yourself all over again.

I hope that by the time you’re 100, you’ve fully embraced the person you are. You learned to live with years of ache and turmoil, but you always managed to push through. You didn’t become the person who fit the typical mold, but you were the one who was always there beneath the masks.

I sincerely hope you’re proud of her and how much effort she put into every single day. I hope you’re proud of the quiet girl who spent years observing the world and wondering where she belonged. She felt invisible for much of her life, but she kept searching for meaning anyway.

She tried her best.

I hope you know just how much courage it took to write your story. You shared your personal experiences about neurodivergence, mental health, and the complicated beauty of being human. In doing so, you helped people feel seen. Maybe your words helped someone feel a little less alone.

I hope you never stopped writing and sharing your story.

Did you ever finish your memoir? Did you continue blogging and sharing your reflections through Embrace the Unseen? I like to think you did. But more than achievements, I hope you chose a life of peace.

I hope you learned not to succumb to other people’s expectations. I hope you learned that you were never lazy, unimportant, or undeserving. You were simply misunderstood by people who never wanted—or never tried—to listen.

I hope you used that laugh of yours often. That you sat at the beach on warm summer days, reflecting and breathing in the salty sea air. It always helped you find calm and serenity.

There are so many things I wish for you.

Because what I’m really beginning to understand now is that life is rarely made up of lavish luxuries or grand moments. It’s made of the quiet ones—the simple things: conversations, connection, and memories. Those are the moments that stay with us and the ones we truly cherish.

I hope you held on to them closely.

Most of all, I hope you feel proud of the life you lived . It may not have been perfect, but I hope it was honest—because you finally learned to stop hiding who you were.

If you could write back to me, I imagine you’d say something simple:

Trust that the life unfolding in front of you will someday make sense.

I believe that fully.

Until then, I’ll keep moving forward one small step at a time.

With love and hope,

Your younger self

If you could send a message to your future self at 100 years old, what would you want them to remember about the person you are today?

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” — Søren Kierkegaard

#MentalHealth #Neurodiversity #Anxiety #Depression #AutismSpectrumDisorder #ADHD #selfcare

I’ve spent years being my own harshest critic. Lately, I’m trying something different—treating myself with the same compassion I give to others. It’s harder than it sounds, but it’s worth practicing.

#MentalHealth #selfcare #Anxiety #Depression #ADHD #Neurodiversity #AutismSpectrumDisorder

Who has a favorite place they go to in order to relax and feel calm? 🙋

Finding those spaces that help us de-stress and slow down are super important and can help us to prioritize our health and well-being.

Where do you go when you need some time to yourself?

#52SmallThings #CheckInWithMe #selfcare #MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicPain #RareDisease #Anxiety #Depression #Autism #Parenting #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Fibromyalgia #Lupus #MultipleSclerosis #Migraine #Spoonie