selfcare

There are many details of my life that I would like to pay more attention to. I feel like we spend so much of our time caught up in what needs to be done that we rarely pause to notice what’s already here. Sometimes, the things that make us feel the most connected are hiding in plain sight, waiting for us to pay attention.

The way my body feels.

I spent a lot of time ignoring the signals my body sends me. I’ll sit for hours on end without even moving a muscle. I push through the exhaustion because my work feels more important than rest. I’ll drink a few cups of coffee throughout the day, even though my body is yearning for water. I’ll ignore eating all together if I’m too hyper focused on something. And I have a hard time treating my body the way that it should be treated—with care.

I know that if I do start paying attention to my body and notice those subtle clues. A tension headache might indicate that it’s time to close the computer and take a step away from the screen. Heavy eyelids remind me that sleep shouldn’t be ignored or put off because my brain wants to continue scrolling. All I know is that if I were to really slow down and listen to my body, I can work with it instead of against it.

The quiet moments.

Let’s face it, life gets loud and hectic sometimes, and it’s hard to find moments to get some peace and quiet. But for me, since my energy runs thin, I really try to have downtown every day. It’s not always easy, but if I don’t take time to just be alone, then I’ll be too anxious and overwhelmed to function. That’s why I relish in the small, simpler moments.

I enjoy moments where I can just sip my coffee in the morning without any distractions, or step outside and bask in the crisp, cool air. Sometimes even sitting in silence and letting my thoughts settle instead of rushing to fill the space with noise. Moments like those are when I remember that sometimes the smallest things, are the most beautiful and meaningful.

The words I use with myself.

This one could use the most work. The way that I speak to myself shapes my mood and my motivation. I have a problem taming my inner critic. It often tells me that I’m worthless, useless, and incapable of accomplishing things. I’m just always so critical and hard on myself that it’s really hard to see the positive strengths that I possess. My inner voice slips into criticism without me even realizing it. The thing is, I always make sure I treat others with the upmost respect, so why can’t I do the same for myself?

I think it all stems from low self-esteem and lack of confidence. I’ve always been very quiet and shy, and it’s been challenging to navigate that in a world that praises loud voices. I don’t feel like I’m accepted in society because I’m so different, and I would like to be able to see myself in the light that many others do.

Paying more attention to the way I speak to myself means slowing down to really notice the tone of my inner dialogue. Instead of letting those harsh words spew out immediately, I can try to redirect them and replace them with more positive affirmations. Like, doing the best I can with what I have, and reminding myself that progress takes time.

I don’t do this as often as I’d like to, but I’ve been practicing speaking kindly to myself. I’ve been holding on to the notion that I’m strong, capable, and worthy of anything. My confidence grows little by little every time I compliment myself or pat myself on the back for doing something brave and out of my comfort zone. It’s all about treating myself with the same compassion I try to extend to others.

The people who show up.

Sometimes life gets busy, and you forget to check in with the people that you love. I know I often go days, weeks even without reaching out to someone. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that it honestly slips my mind. I do love when people send me funny memes or messages that remind me I’m cared for. I send some back too and that’s how I know our relationship is solid and that sometimes further communication isn’t necessary.

Gestures like a quick text message might seem small, but they matter deeply. It reminds me that I’m not alone even though my mind often convinces me otherwise. Paying attention to who actually shows up for me helps me focus on gratitude instead of a lack thereof. It makes me really think about who is there for me and who isn’t. And it’s made me reevaluate certain relationship, but knowing I have my people softens the loneliness on hard days.

The details we overlook are often the ones that carry us through the everyday. It might seem like ordinary things, but they’re anything but. I notice that when I show up for myself, I start to live life more fully and authentically.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”-Robert Brault

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