Spinaltaps

It’s been two years since my world has turned around and I guess it’s still so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that life will never be the same. Yet not in a way that I can control! We always look to grow, change our ways for the better but dammit I hate feeling defeated. Of course this is a roller coaster ride, good days, bad days, etc,. Last couple of weeks my depression has been at an all time low. I’m holding tight to my faith, spiritually and all that I have to appreciate in this life especially my children who literally keep me alive.... but this just fucking sucks, my body feels violated, feels like it’s been invaded and it doesn’t know how to fight back. Now we find two lumps like wtf!!! I feel like this phase is going to be rough and don’t get me wrong I have been presented with some amazing opportunities to advance my skills and career but of course my body is like hmmmm why can’t we sleep all day every day???? It’s all I really want nowadays, to be under the covers it’s the only place I feel safe and comforted.....