spirallingthoughts

I know full well that this person is busy, working and has family stuff going on but my anxiety keeps telling me otherwise. It keeps telling me she hates me, I scared her off and she wants nothing to do with me. I keep wanting to text her and ask her to forgive me for whatever I did. But I’m afraid I’ve already pushed my friend to far with my panic attacks and this would just push her over the edge. My brain keeps circling telling me that she’s just trying to nicely drop hints that she doesn’t want to be my friend any longer and she regrets to ever saying yes to hang out. I’m getting ready to move and I want us to have a proper goodbye. But my anxiety keeps telling me she doesn’t want to see me. Then my anxiety is arguing with itself saying to just do it over text but then the other side is saying no she’s at work I don’t want to make her cry. Though the selfish side says not to do it because I don’t want her to laugh at me to our coworkers. I don’t rationally think she would but I’m just afraid she will turn on me. Then the storm just cycles back around an endless wheel. #Anxiety #spirallingthoughts #talkmedown #CheckInWithMe #help

I’m spiraling so hard right now and I’m panicking so hard. I tried telling my mom and she normally is very helpful but tonight she just seems to annoyed with me and she keeps telling me stuff like well you were just fine earlier
I just don’t know what to do
#Depression #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #spirallingthoughts
#DistractMe

I feel like I’m going insane, I feel sick, dry mouth, restless arms and legs, I can’t think or concentrate. My poor boy is wanting to play a game but my heart is racing and my head in spinning and I feel like I’m on the edge of bursting into tears or crying.
Nothing has even happened.
I don’t know what I’m doing or what I want, my ex is being nice to me and one minute I think I love him and need him back then he said he was gonna be out and I instantly had prickly hot and cold skin, light headed, dizzy, dry mouth, felt raging and like f**k you then have a good night, all he meant was he would be out of the shower.
I can’t cope, my head is going a million miles a second and I don’t even know what I’m saying. One minute I’m here and then something pops into my head and I can’t see or hear things, it’s like I disappear from the real world for a bit then suddenly I come back and I’m like oh ok what’s just happened?
Sorry just needed to write this down and this seems the best place I can be anonymous.
I just want help
#help #spirallingthoughts

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #spirallingthoughts

Does anyone else feel like they have to
Write a perfect comment/reply to every post otherwise something bad is about to happen to that person? That maybe they’ll get really hurt, or
Die because your comment really upset them, or that you didn’t reply and they felt really alone. #spirallingthoughts

I have a significant other who is really very understanding, we've been through some tough times and managed to keep it together. I keep running into the same issue on my side of things and it's causing a few problems.  My 'All or Nothing' thought process.

An example, we'll be doing fine for awhile and things are good.  Then he starts feeling like he needs some space because that's just the type of person he is, not that I'm clingy or anything he just needs alone time to recharge and I totally get that.  So he'll very carefully say something about needing some time for himself.

Logically, I know this is good. We both need space and time to be with ourselves and I fully support that. But then my illogical brain starts going and suddenly I'm worried he doesn't love me, when I know that is not the case. My brain tells me he is pushing me away and I better leave before he can hurt me by breaking up with me, you can see how quick it spirals out of control.

So I'm struggling with this.  How do I give myself a reality check?  How do I get myself to stop taking everything so personally?  That thought of you are either all in or all out, there isn't in between when I know, in my good moments, that's not the case at all.  He doesn't love me any less because he wants to spend time alone playing a video game.  But my brain starts running away with it and I struggle.  I usually withdraw because part of me knows this is a huge over reaction to the situation.  I support doing whatever a person needs to recharge, for him it's some solo time.
#spirallingthoughts #overreacting #help