symptomsofbpd

So I have been really struggling with my bpd lately and I felt so helpless and I feel like therapy doesn’t help because when it comes down to it not even my therapist will ever truly understand my day to day struggle or what racks and ruins my brain. No mater how many ways I can try to explain it to her so she’ll get it. I feel extra alone and isolated and the anxiety and frustration with not knowing my emotions or thoughts and how to deal with them was just building and building recently so I was looking on Amazon and ended up ordering a highly recommended workbook specifically for bpd. And even tho obviously (by the 17.8k reviews) many people have proudly or not so proudly purchased and used this work book. I can’t help but feel embarrassed? I don’t want people to think I’m hyper focused on my personality disorder because it makes me “special” or “important” but it’s really because I have no idea where to begin on how to handle this disorder that I have recognized everywhere in my past but have only been able to put a reason/explaination recently with the new diagnosis with bpd. All of the years of not knowing how different my brain really is made me feel crazy and insane and irrational. I’m enormously scared of slipping in to that feeling again because of my lack of progress or understanding of myself. So I ordered the book. I’m scared I’m spending money on things like this and that it won’t truly help me but I don’t know what else to do anymore. What should I do? Was it a dumb purchase? Can nothing or no one help me? Im sorry for the rant that is probably very confusing. My mind is alphabet soup lately. #help #symptomsofbpd #Ranting

#Dissociation

I've been plummeting further down a rabbit hole.

I don't feel real,
I don't have perseption of time,
I can't tell if I'm really awake or dreaming,

This chronic, agonizing feeling of emptiness shrouds me in a black veil, suffocating the breath from my lungs.

#blackness #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #symptomsofbpd #MentalHealth #mylifestruggle

It’s always been like this... not knowing what I’m gonna do next. I took out a loan on a whim and now I don’t know how I’m gonna pay it back. I go to the store telling myself, “I only need one thing, just one,” and I come out with 5 things, mainly electronics costing me greatly. Just the other day I bought a $40 hat, not even realizing I was buying it until I was at the counter with it.. that money was supposed to be for laundry. I don’t know how to control this part of my BPD. I’m pretty good at controlling the rage, emptiness, depression... but this is something that has always ruled my life. Not just financially.

I make plans and promises that I can’t keep, and the effort in trying to is very strenuous. I decide that I’m gonna have sex with the guy that I’m talking to, and it happens, and afterwards I just don’t know what to do with myself.

Help please.

Hello! I’m just wondering guys, how did any of yous get the actual diagnoses? I’ve been following this page for some time now and I’m getting more and more aware that I have either #symptomsofbpd or #BipolarDisorder .
#imfeelingalone !! I’ve been on #Antidepressants since the age of 15 I’m now 20. Currently I’m taking sertraline 100mg, propranolol 10mg & mitrazapine 15mg. I’ve been in sertraline since around the age of 18, previous to this I was taking fluoxetine. I’ve told my gp time and time again about how I feel and I just get palmed off with more and more meds. Please help me

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder