dissociation

I hate being numb all the time. Life just seems like it is passing by and I barely feel anything other than anxiety and sadness. Everything seems grey. No colour. No excitement. It's like I live with headphones. I basically stop hearing and stop processing what's going around me. Especially when I'm with other people or when I'm driving. I keep on forgetting things and zoning out. I think Ive been emotionally dead for so long that I don't even know what living is. I'm broken. I'm trapped in my head and I don't know how to get out. People call me quiet but they have no idea. This has been going on for so long that I just feel like failed in life. I know other people would only wish to be alive (ex.physically sick people)and I'm here not wanting anything to do with life and I'm just wasting it. Letting it apss by. #Depression #SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Dissociation #numb #sad

I joined awhile ago and am just now finding the energy and courage to introduce myself. I joined #MightyTogether because I struggle with the #Isolation and #alienation that comes with #CPTSD #Trauma #Disability #BipolarDisorder #Dissociation #MentalIllness and #ChronicIllness and having no support system. I came here with the hope to hear your stories, share mine, and heal together.

Hey guys I've been living my life on autopilot for 4 years the same thing everyday.
Wake up eat tv/laptop anything i can get to escape then go to bed at night and repeat.

I need to snap out of this I've tried in the past but i always get back in this prison if anyone has got out of it please give any tips you'd like and that worked for you. Thanks

I’ve had myself convinced that things aren’t that bad and everything is okay for so long, and it’s catching up with me. I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong, my life could certainly be worse. It’s just not there. That feeling that tells you you’re alive and part of this world, it’s not there. I’ve been stuck in my head a lot lately and I know I need to let myself live, yet at the same time having so much buried trauma means I can’t really live unless I know exactly who I am. Finding out the truth is taking everything because truth IS everything. Tomorrow is another day, I’ll know what truth it brings when it gets here. In the meantime I’m watching a fire go out and hoping to sleep. #distant #Dissociation #GroundingTechniques #PTSD #CPTSD #SexualTrauma

I just wanted to say hello since it is hard for me to open up. I look forward to sharing and hope to be of support to others! #Bipolar #Fibromyalgia #Anxiety #CPTSD #Insomnia #EatingDisorders #Dissociation #MentalHealth #Depression

I look like I put a bit more effort into my appearance today, but I don't like my body. I don't like getting dressed; I don't like washing myself; I don't like brushing my teeth or hair. I look at my face in the mirror and wish I could just erase it, wipe it away with the fog after showering. I see my body reflected in a glass window and wish I could disappear. I don't know how to get away from the disgust that I've known since childhood. I try to compartmentalize and think of my body and my thoughts as entirely different entities. At least then I don't have to stay aware of how I feel and think about myself. If I dissociate enough, I can get through hygiene and dressing. If I can't disconnect from myself enough to take care of hygiene, I'll just disconnect from people and keep myself secluded. #Dissociation #SexualTrauma #selfdisgust

I thought I would be able to sleep. I kept having intrusive memories and I had to just get up. Childhood memories. This is what I wanted; to regain memories and work through all this shit so I can find some peace before I die?? Now I'm afraid and not so sure that I can live through this or want too. My husband died almost 25 yrs ago and I still miss him soo much that my soul hurts. I feel so lost and alone without him. I died that day too. But I had to stay here to raise our daughters. I am still here because of them and my grandchildren.
I love them all so much but I feel so empty all the time.
This is why I can't stay clean and sober. At least, not more than 7yrs. When I start thinking/remembering my life and the multiple severe traumas, I get overwhelmed and want to die. Then relapse. HELL, this shit haunts me even when I'm drinking and doing drugs.
I can't keep living like this. I'm 57 and ready to die.
#CPTSD #Anxiety #Depression #Dissociation #ChildhoodAbuse #Addiction #Selfharm #alone

I don't feel like myself. Nothing feels real anymore. I'm having out of body experiences and I am very unaware of people and things around me. The dissociation is so bad and I don't have therapy til next week. I accidentally missed this week's therapy appointment. I need some advice. What's the best way to snap myself out of this? I used to use self harm but I'm not doing that anymore. I just need to feel something. What are some safe ways to feel something? #CPTSD #Dissociation #MentalHealth