bipolar disorder diagnosis

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Why don't antidepressants and therapy work for me and my depression? Is it something else, C-PTSD or Autism?

I have lived all of my 64 years (that I can remember) being depressed. I didn't know what it was until my 20s, and read a book called REALITY THERAPY which described my symptoms very well, and offered me hope for the first time. I started therapy soon after, but living with depression ever since.

I have been in regular therapy since that time, and have had a wide variety of therapists, and a wide variety of antidepressants in those years. I'm currently on Effexor XR 300mg per day, and have been for over 10 years. It seems to have worked better for me than others I had in the previous years.

Still, the best that I ever feel is what I think 'normal' people feel when they say they're depressed. I call it "neutral", although when I'm questioned by a therapist or doctor, they classify it as 'depressed'. For me, that "neutral" state feels like a huge relief, and a time to freely exhale, and otherwise let my body loose, and to relax. But like I said, the doctors say that I am still depressed then, just not as much as I usually am.

Twenty years ago, a new doctor told me that the reason I wasn't getting better was because I was misdiagnosed, and he diagnosed me with Bipolar type 2. I started on Depakote as a mood stabilizer, and stayed on antidepressants as well. Then came a diagnosis of ADHD, and I have been on Ritalin ever since. I spent decades on the combination and still fought depression every step of the way.

Last year I was switched from Depakote to Lithium, at a high dose, and because doctors didn't check my blood levels each month, I ended up with severe Lithium toxicity, and near death. I was taken to a hospital with a Trauma Center a hundred miles away, and spent the next week there hooked to three IVs, and constant medical attention. I'm still recuperating at home.

My current psychiatrist doesn't agree with the previous Bipolar 2 diagnosis, but thinks it may be something else. C-PTSD seems to fit in a myriad of ways with me. But now I am wondering if even some level of Autism fits with me. It's hard for me to tell what might be actual symptoms that I have, and what might just be coincidences.

If my depression is not coming from 'depression', per sé, but is coming from C-PTSD or Autism, would that explain why the antidepressants and talk therapy over the years have never truly gotten rid of it? Or does it not make any difference, and I'm just whistling in some dark alley somewhere? I don't really have much hope any more that things can ever get any better. ♧

#Depression #ChronicDepression #Bipolar2Disorder #ADHD #Effexor #lithiumtoxicity #lithium #Misdiagnosed #BipolarDisorder #neurodiverse #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Depression #SocialAnxiety #AdultDiagnosis #AutismDiagnosis #BipolarDisorderDiagnosis #Autism #UndiagnosedAutism #TheNationalAutisticSociety #AutismAcceptance #Anxiety #PTSD #CPTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Selfdiagnoses


Is my depression really “major depression”?

I have a lot of clinical knowledge of psychology, which drives my therapist and psychiatrist bananas. I’ve never had an episode that I’d consider a major episode. Anyone else have depression they’d never identify as depression, and that other people don’t even pick up on? I’m aware and accepting of my diagnosis, but sometimes it seems so mild. My psychiatrist said it’s not cyclothymia. I should consider myself lucky, but instead I’m just confused. #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Bipolar2Disorder #BipolarDisorderDiagnosis #Depression


#Bipolar2Disorder #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression

People with Bipolar disorder answer please. I am trying to understand firsthand what bipolar disorder is like for other people because I am worried I have been misdiagnosed as bipolar when I'm not.

How did you do in school?
Can you focus for long periods of time or are you easily distracted?
What is your sleep schedule like?
What does mania/hypomania feel like to you?
What are depressive episodes like?
Do you have nervous tics or self stimulation?
Do you have anxiety in relation to your Bipolar Disorder? Like do aspects of Bipolar Disorder cause you anxiety?
Have you ever had self-harming or suicidal thoughts? If yes were they in relation to how you felt about yourself (like feeling ugly or worthless) or were they just urges?
Do you ever feel out of control when manic or depressed?
What are your moods generally like during the day (on average)?
#BipolarDisorder #bipolar2depression #Misdiagnosis #BipolarDepression #Bipolar1Disorder #BipolarSpending #BipolarDisorderDiagnosis #BipolarObsessiveness


Bipolar mixed epsisode/dysphoric mania

I’m currently in the process of getting diagnosed with bipolar 2 by a psychiatrist (have already been told by a psychologist). Personally I’ve been doing a lot of research to help better understand bipolar disorder, but it’s hard to find clinical information about mixed episodes and dysphoric mania. Especially since it’s what I experience more than hypomania. Also, it’s hard to find people talking about their experiences with mixed episodes. Those of you who experience this, how does it effect you? For me it feels like a very heightened depressive episode, with surging energy through my body, extreme anxiety, agitation. It makes me more suicidal and impulsive. It’s the most uncomfortable mood state I’ve ever been in. #BipolarDisorder #MixedEpisodes #DysphoricMania #MoodDisorders #Bipolar2Disorder #BipolarDisorderDiagnosis

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What is stigma looks like for me!!!!!!

People can not feel my downs they think it is controllable but i use it for getting emotionally support from them. My husband is the fastest runner ever when i need him. Otherwise when i am up he is there to take advantage #BipolarDepression #Bipolar2Disorder #BipolarDisorderDiagnosis #Stigma #NeedSupport #MentalHealth


Telling Family/Friends

I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 last week after being misdiagnosed for many years with unipolar depression. I researched it a ton beforehand and suspected as much for the last year or so. In some ways I was relieved to have an explanation for the way I have felt and a plan for treatment. But in other ways I'm completely terrified. Aside from the fear of medication side effects, and the daunting task of learning about how to manage episodes, I feel completely torn about if/when/how to tell my family and close friends. Right now only my husband and my boss know and both have been supportive. I know my family/friends would try to be as supportive as they know how but it just feels strange to even say it out loud by myself, let alone to someone else, but at the same time it feels like I'm hiding things and being dishonest if I don't at least tell the people closest to me. How do others handle this?
#Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar2 #BipolarDepression #BipolarStigma #BipolarDisorderDiagnosis #Support #help #Advice


Ok talk to me about Seroquel...what is it? what should I expect?

I'm always nervous starting new meds and this is a whole new ball game for me. I was diagnosed with steroid psychosis after high doses to treat pneumonia and now here we are, bipolar? what the hell just happened?!? I'm lost. I'm scared. I'm in disbelief. Im medicated on Adivan and now Seroquel. any advice, wisdom, support you can offer would be welcomed. Thanks. #thissucks #newlydiagnosed #Psychosis #BipolarDisorderDiagnosis


Best way to deal with #BipolarDisorder

I was just released from my first inpatient stay and they diagnosed me with bipolar most recent episode depressive severe #RapidCyclingBipolar. I feel like I am in shock of this diagnosis as I am 36 years old. What are somethings that I need to know or most helpful about this disorder? #BipolarDisorderDiagnosis #Depression #SuicidalIdeation