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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is TinienOtto. I'm here because I have CRPS for almost 3 years and really have no support. My PM Dr, I don't know how to explain it but I tell her the withdrawal of this med outweighs the benefits of using it and if I lose my insurance I wouldn't be able to afford the appointments and the med not even just to ween off it. Almost $500 every 4 weeks + however much the Dr visits are. Local pharmacy always has to order it and since it's a opioid they won't start to fill it until you're almost done with your last patch. Plus I was having skin reactions at site of the patch. So instead of trying something new she goes back through everything that didn't work and pick out the one I had an allergic reaction ( minor hives) to prescribe at nearly the lowest dose when at the time I was on it I was on a high dose with little to no relief. Family and friends don't understand the pain I'm in. I live alone with my parakeet, Otto Von Ruthless, he has a 50+ word vocabulary and is my everything.i find myself not wanting to be around anyone or get out of bed. I'm not enjoying life, I'm suffering through the motions. Trapped in my 1000 sq foot apt. Winter is a double edged sword/ torture device - long sleeves hurt and so does the cold wind or just plain cold. So it's lose lose outside. On some days I wish assisted suicide was legal in my state and acceptable for non fatal illness. I'm NOT suicidal. I'm just suffering 24/7-365. I struggle to do necessities like showering, brushing teeth, hair, getting dressed, cooking every day.

#MightyTogether #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #Depression #Anxiety

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3 reactions 4 comments
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Real poem

Adrian Von Zeigler music in the background

My man's sad eyes in the foreground

Your feet are tired

Trudging through entwined branches like wire mesh

Stop thinking on what makes you wired

Listen instead to John Tesh

Come home when you are ready

I try to be tried true and steady

Find something other than other's wars to study

Maybe even listen to some Jim Cuddy

There's other songs besides just bad timing that's all

We take it in stride sometimes we fall

The best frame of mind is that of a student

That way our choices make us intelligent

Tame your restlessness with exercise or meditation

Tame your anger with inner mediation

Don't harm, always be humble and kind

That is the you, you lost, now for you to find

Me too, then with kindness bind

as we have always been bound to each other

like wife husband and sister brother

I'm trying here, my sadness true

get well don't crowd, don't misuse my love

for love or money

love and nature's free where we are

all that is found surrounding, not so far

Don't you know we're on a par

My love is not a set of bars

Honesty is not a test

Truth telling is usually best

Post

Your Isolde Poem

Don't you remember what innocence we shared
It was different for us
Than kids today
More innocence, more romantic sensibilities
Teacher mom
Hard working believing student
Enter into my realm
of Twilight and Dreamscapes
Texts, Poems, Michael Collins, Yeats
Just an Introduction
Just a Refreshing of the Roots
Really do they have teeth on the Blasket Islands
Or do they all wander to our own East Coast
How I long to be this person again
Do you know what a Waulking Song is
Warm your sailor's blanket as he comes in from the cold
What if that was you
I being Poor have only my dreams
I only had my thoughts of you
Liv's a Celtic Phantasy too
She's an Elven Hobbit Dream
So's Gwen and your dear Isolde
So hold close with every breath from every vein
This heartache is no new strain
Your headache is healed by music you say
And books and your good looks
Romantic crown, Celtic gown
Warriors stance, Ulrich Von Liechtenstein's dance
Celtic Austen traditions
Don't cheapen my admissions
Cherished even when my heart is in a thousand shards
My child knows the difference between Elanor and Maryanne
She's Elanor, maybe Elsinore Hamlet's home
Like Gertie in Reverse
What is life
What is teaching
What is learning or at least attempting to do so
When obliterated by Tic Tok
and now since my Birthday, disrespect
Grow and be me as I was then
For this our hearts we open
then you'll be Kate Hepburn and her Carey, Spencer or Howard Hughes
No longer to the Pain, I miss my chains which tie me to blood
To my daughter, my child, my everlasting heart
Is this one a work of art

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Post of kid in the middle

Defend me, She doesn't need to entertain you, Your daughter is not a call you need to greet with loudness, or loud movies, or University political lectures to a pre teen, stop, and bedtimes will be strictly observed, Maria Von Trapp, and music will be everywhere, quietly, and keep things tidy and clean your room, just protect, keep it quiet, turn it down for the mostpart, be Gentle, nurture, and cook kid foods, quiet is the reason mom yells, it's too noisy, her personality changed previously, change that back to sweet, it hurts, don't yell at me on my birthday and the week before yours, I'm your flesh not someone else, if you say they are, maybe they nurture too, but kid I'm your flesh, and you're mine and his, and Love Child you've always been cupid, so Respect the Love Shack, don't lie, and let the mistakes of the past or lies and bad reps go, it's all about love, give it, receive it, protect it, mend it, ouch

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I'm new here!

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