Worst

#I thought I'd got level at least not constantly at war with myself! #who was I kidding I'm still me,me with #all the pain, anger and crushing self hate

Yesterday was my birthday and before having lunch with my hubby and my family I had a doctor's appointment. My Gyne told me that it looks like I've got #PolycysticOvarySyndrome and have to undergo #Surgery soon. So as you can imagine my party mood was blown away. I am still processing but it feels nearly impossible because tomorrow is my hubby' s back surgery. I feel torn and twisted and completely out of place. When I told my family they did not seem to really care. And I don't have the time to really think about it. I just need to make the appointments and go through with it, don't I?! #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #Pain #Depression #diabetestyp2

I am Starting to see how I act and react to people. And it really bothers me! #Worst of bpd I have seen that I give love and attract those that are sociopaths users and the ones that need time to get to know me and probably would give me love and I them and we do have a great relationship I tend to freak out and push away please help please help this is the worst thing aboutBPD