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Was Good for a While, but Not Now

Summer started with my first vacation since before the Pandemic. My vacation was an adventure to the NW Coast where I have never been before. I love to travel by myself and take time to explore. I came back home refreshed and feeling strong.

A week ago, I got poison Ivy while working in my garden. It was on my eyelids and nose. My doctor gave me Prednisone. The good thing is, it cleared the rash up quickly. The bad thing is, Prednisone sparks depression in me. I deal with anxiety and depression anyway on a regular basis, but this episode has really knocked me down.

It makes me think about family issues that I thought I’d set aside. It makes me think about losing my Mom 2 years ago. It makes me think about the horrible accident my Dad was in last year at this time. It reminds me I’m alone. It makes me think of all the mistakes I’ve made in life. It reminds me of all the times I’ve been mocked for who I am. It makes me remember how I once trusted people and how those people let me down. I don’t trust anyone anymore.

I keep telling myself it’s just the medication still in my body that is doing this to me, but I’m having a tough time getting over this and all the bad thoughts it brings to my mind. I don’t want to do anything but sit. And tonight I am having a tough time sleeping. Failure is blocking my eyes. #Depression aggravated by Prednisone #feel all my failings #all alone #Family mocks my mental health

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#words of #Kindness For The #all #mighty

I woke early this morning with typical questioning thoughts. I then thought of listening to a sermon on a Podcast, but changed my mind because those words typically lead me to more questioning thoughts filled with self reflection, self awareness, and sadly self-lead conviction. But today I want to hear and join in with speaking good words said about our Heavenly Father. So, I turned to #TheMighty to share words of kindness with my Heavenly family to our Loving Lord and Savior!

Loving Father, thank you for sharing your Son with us. Your Trinity is so loving and giving. Thank you for being faithful. Thank you for bending and extending yourself to reach us on our level. As my tears drip because of some challenge I face on this broken realm, Father, your Great Comforter seems to caress my wet face as a gentle wind cools the feverish emotional energy my anxiety sweats.

You are love. You are NOT the voice I often hear in the racing thoughts in my mind, for they are fueled by fear or panic. No. Lord, you are the voice that tells me “peace,” as you add, “Be still.” There is no panic in you. There is no rushed decision expected of us, those who trust in you. Your timing is perfect. I can wait in you.

And in our times of uncertainty, we run to you as our fear mounts. But you allow us to almost disturb you as you reach out to another in their distress. You take the time to whisper to us, “Your faith has made you well.”

I drop before you sharing my accusations of yet ANOTHER time I caught my self cheating, an betraying act unlike you. But you simply push the dirty soil of such internal anguish away. My words begin to fade, for no one is without sin. You stand by me. I hear your whispered words, “Where are your accusers?” All thoughts disappear. With confidence, I know I can “go” and “sin no more.” My actions are exposed. I then drink in Your Living Water. And I go out and I declare to all I encounter in my world, “Jesus speaks! And he knows EVERYTHING ABOUT ME!” Your Truth has set me free!

May we all gather together to boast and proclaim each of our encounters we have experienced with our Heavenly Father, his Son, and the acts and guidance of his Great Comforter. As the song Agnus Dei plays in my ears, “You are Holy…Lord God Almighty…Worthy is the Lamb…Are You Lord God Almighty.”

#Anxiety #Fear #PTSD #CPTSD meet #peace #patience and #Love !

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#Cat in the #NewYear

Here's placing my commitment to engaging in positive thoughts that will work positive energy that will materialize my wish/prayer that this year, & many following, will be MUCH MUCH BETTER than 2022 was to/for me.

And I #Hope & #Pray that 2023 bring MUCH #Joy , #peace , & #relief to #all of us that #Suffer from #devastating effects of #ChronicIllness , especially those of us whom are asked to #endure #ChronicPain , especially those of us, that suffer continuous non-stop pain, especially those of us who's entire body is afflicted, for I do know that #Pain does kinda cancel out/prevent us from any/all pleasurable #Emotions . At least, personally speaking, I'm always miserable, & since I lost my cat a little past last New Year (of 2022),, so went my smile, & any & every semblance of the person I was. The person I liked being. Please, #god , give me a sweet cat soon. Very soon, I'd really #hate to #Lose hope again. So please don't hold back on my #blessing of a cat too long. I need #help & #relief . Please don't make it all disappear into the #dark #pit I've lived in. For all too too long. #please bring me #light & #Hope to see this to its fruition. I need to bring home a Cat. Know that. You do. , I ask,in #Jesus ' name. Thanks for reading my post, all you caring & supportive #mightyfriends 🙋💗🍬 #MightyTogether #peace

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My doctor has asked if I'd like to try Ketamine infusions. I tried the TMS, didn't help. Has anyone else tried and can give me their opinion?

#major depression #Bipolar #Anxiety ##PTSD #OCD #Fibromyalgia #etc #all MESSED UP


For years I have dealt with poor self-esteem, established since being a toddler. In my mind I struggle to give myself positive affirmations. A skill that lies dormant somewhere within me, but I have no clue where, or how to access it. I'm Bipolar and struggle with CPTSD and have been in counseling working to hold myself above water. Just want to know someone out there who understands any of what I just rambled off about. #Bipolar #all mixed up #Medication resistant #Survivor #major Depressive disorder


#Worst day

#I thought I'd got level at least not constantly at war with myself! #who was I kidding I'm still me,me with #all the pain, anger and crushing self hate


Favorite movie #all the Bright Places

This movie made me laugh and cry and cheer. It’s relatable and relevant and inspirational. I can’t wait to see it again.

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What helps you through the day?

The love of my schnauzer Suzi #all love no judgement