Was Good for a While, but Not Now
Summer started with my first vacation since before the Pandemic. My vacation was an adventure to the NW Coast where I have never been before. I love to travel by myself and take time to explore. I came back home refreshed and feeling strong.
A week ago, I got poison Ivy while working in my garden. It was on my eyelids and nose. My doctor gave me Prednisone. The good thing is, it cleared the rash up quickly. The bad thing is, Prednisone sparks depression in me. I deal with anxiety and depression anyway on a regular basis, but this episode has really knocked me down.
It makes me think about family issues that I thought I’d set aside. It makes me think about losing my Mom 2 years ago. It makes me think about the horrible accident my Dad was in last year at this time. It reminds me I’m alone. It makes me think of all the mistakes I’ve made in life. It reminds me of all the times I’ve been mocked for who I am. It makes me remember how I once trusted people and how those people let me down. I don’t trust anyone anymore.
I keep telling myself it’s just the medication still in my body that is doing this to me, but I’m having a tough time getting over this and all the bad thoughts it brings to my mind. I don’t want to do anything but sit. And tonight I am having a tough time sleeping. Failure is blocking my eyes. #Depression aggravated by Prednisone #feel all my failings #all alone #Family mocks my mental health