I'm a lot better than I used to be, but I'm not thriving either. It's a weird in between stage.

Over the last 20+ years I've been diagnosed with #MajorDepressiveDisorder (7 episodes), #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder , #AttentiondeficitDisorder (without hyperactivity), #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder and
#PostTramaticStressDisorder . I've been unable to work at times, barely able to leave the house, showered only occasionally, slept 15 hours a day. At one point I was taking 12 or so pills a day. If my parents didn't feed me and allow me to rent part of their home, I seriously would have ended up rotting in the gutter somewhere.

For the last 1.0.0.5 years, I've been off all of my psych meds, working part-time, showering most days, keeping my space a hell of a lot tidier and cleaner. I've adjusted to dealing with how I am #Unmedicated . I've been actively maintaining one friendship in my neighborhood. I've even taken some classes to try and better my employment opportunities.

So here's what I'm finding. I'm in this oddball zone.
I'm #40something , unmarried & single for 4 years, childfree, not fully independent, not fully employed.
I'm better, but I'm still struggling. I'm not carefree and confident and ambitious....I'm a poor, angry, anxious woman with #obsessivethinking , #lowselfesteem , and I'm #lonely as fuck because I'm too scared to let new people in. I'm a #Survivor !! But I'm struggling to have more than this really small life. Everything is still really hard all the time. Blah, blah, blah