PostTramaticStressDisorder

It was inevitable they say . It is not fair. It's not fair that it wasn't anyone's fault .That is isn't anyone out there to blame.To go after To hate!
#PostTramaticStressDisorder

#PostTramaticStressDisorder

I love The Mighty and get multiple newsletters from The Mighty sent to my email. I read at least an article or two every day. I feel so inspired by it it always brightens my mood and makes me feel like no matter what I CAN get through it and I'm not alone!
#EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Bipolar #PolycysticOvarianSyndrome #TMJ #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #PostTramaticStressDisorder #ComplexPTSD #Dysautonomia #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #ThyroidDisease #Fibromyalgia #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #PanicDisorder #MyofascialPainSyndrome #EDS #HighCholesterol #SocialAnxiety #BipolarDisorder

#GettingStrongerAtFeelingWeak

Feeling defeated as if I am #GettingStrongerAtFeelingWeak and wondering will authentic happiness ever come again. It’s like I am living in the movie Groundhogs Day. The vicious cycle seems like it will never stop. I have done a lot to help myself, I speak up and I talk about it to friends and family. I share stories from here or quotes, and even talk straight up about myself and how I feel. I feel that’s the way we should all be and that’s how you start to break free and people start to understand. So why do I feel like my strength has become weakness. Why am I finding myself breaking more, hurting more, more alone, and exhausted over this battle in my head. People don’t have the ability to understand from your perception. That’s why we need each other.

I'm a lot better than I used to be, but I'm not thriving either. It's a weird in between stage.

Over the last 20+ years I've been diagnosed with #MajorDepressiveDisorder (7 episodes), #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder , #AttentiondeficitDisorder (without hyperactivity), #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder and
#PostTramaticStressDisorder . I've been unable to work at times, barely able to leave the house, showered only occasionally, slept 15 hours a day. At one point I was taking 12 or so pills a day. If my parents didn't feed me and allow me to rent part of their home, I seriously would have ended up rotting in the gutter somewhere.

For the last 1.0.0.5 years, I've been off all of my psych meds, working part-time, showering most days, keeping my space a hell of a lot tidier and cleaner. I've adjusted to dealing with how I am #Unmedicated . I've been actively maintaining one friendship in my neighborhood. I've even taken some classes to try and better my employment opportunities.

So here's what I'm finding. I'm in this oddball zone.
I'm #40something , unmarried & single for 4 years, childfree, not fully independent, not fully employed.
I'm better, but I'm still struggling. I'm not carefree and confident and ambitious....I'm a poor, angry, anxious woman with #obsessivethinking , #lowselfesteem , and I'm #lonely as fuck because I'm too scared to let new people in. I'm a #Survivor !! But I'm struggling to have more than this really small life. Everything is still really hard all the time. Blah, blah, blah