Whenever I catch myself acting abusive just like my mom/in general I tell myself "I have continued the cycle of abuse. I deserve to die". I believe I am beyond redemption and that I am a toxic abuser who, if dead, will make the world a less toxic place if I am dead
For about two years I struggled so hard living with life with a #narcissist , #abuser #mentally and #physicalabuse . Going back and fourth with being with him and not. Today marks ONE YEAR of him being completely cut out of my life!! I didn’t realize how bad he was hurting me til he was gone. Who knew how amazing it would feel too!!! If you think you can’t do it, remember you can!! It’s hard but it’s so worth it!!
so I had this boyfriend, he was a manipulator and a crazy psychopath and made me go through HUGE amount of stress to break up with. he literally started from begging to threatening to get me back and I had to lie and tell him I was getting married and changed my number.
now after 2 months he has found me on social media and this is the 4th time he has made a fake account and sent me messages. and I blocked him again and again.(he is not threatening me, but I think soon he's gonna do it)
I am really afraid and tired.
everytime I see his name I get panic attacks...!!!!!
and he has hit me so many times left me with bruises.
what should I do?
I was told monsters were creatures who lerked under my bed but this monster would lerk in it instead.
When the room was dark he’d come out to prey, I was little girl having her innocence taken away.
I was promised that these monsters couldn’t hurt me and I wanted it to be true, but no one ever warned me about monsters like you.
Was it my cheesy grin or my curly hair was it my silly behaviour or the jokes I would share?
Why did you choose me?
And why didn’t you stop when I would cry and plea?
I was a little girl why couldnt you see
You are a monster and you ruined me
You would call me your angel and say that you loved me
That I was everything you wanted a girl to be
That I was so perfect and so pretty.
But you see I refuse to let that be the end
And I refuse to let that be my story
I refuse to let you control my life
You don’t deserve that glory
I am strong and I will overcome
You are weak and nothing but scum
For so long I felt nothing but shame
For so long I felt like I was to blame
But I am a fighter, you won’t blow out my flame
Don’t call me your angel, that’s not my fucking name.
My name is Layna- Jean Mitchell and you no longer control me!
#Abuse #SexualAbuse #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #takingbackcontrol #abuser #MentalHealth
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