Anniversary Effect

I can’t remember good friends birthdays, happy moments, but the anniversary of being adult Ed haunts me for months before and after. Tough week. #AnniversaryEffect

2 years ago today, I died, I was brought back and given a dx I never dreamed of. Life altering changes since then. As I face down another surgery in a few weeks I have realized that health is never valued until it’s gone. I will face this next obstacle and pray I do well. I can’t say I have learned anything at all. Im still angry, I still mourn my old life, I miss not being sick. Those are things I can’t change. I will just so what’s next. Life of #CrohnsDisease #autoimmune #AnniversaryEffect

It's coming... the two year anniversary. Two years ago you decided you didn't want to live anymore... My son asked where you were after he saw a picture of the two of you together... You loved him so much... and it breaks my heart that you don't get to know him now. He's four now, and he's so smart. He knows that asking about you makes me sad... He also knows who you are. I will never let him forget you... I don't want anyone to ever forget you.
We never got as close as I thought we'd become... as my best friends little sister, you were someone who was always there. Starting drama at every turn, and always the light in the room. You made mistakes... but none of those matter... Everyone makes mistakes... I just wish you wouldn't have let those mistakes decide your fate... You are so loved... Loved more than you ever knew... I just hope your happy now... I hope your family heals and loves... I hope your little brother never forgets his sister... I hope one year, this day will go by and it won't feel like a brick in my stomach... and at the same time... I don't... Because I know... I know my heart, and the hearts of everyone who loved you, who loves you, will forever be scarred.
#thoughtprocess #SuicideLoss #SuicidePrevention #SuicideAwareness #IMissYou #AnniversaryEffect #AnniversaryReaction

Something awful happened to me four years ago. Last year, the anniversary caused me to have a breakdown that lasted for six months. I don't want that to happen again, but the last month has still been increasingly worse as the anniversary approaches (it's next week). It seems like I've tried just about everything to get over it. I'm not even really upset about the original things that were the problem in the first 2-3 years. It's only the memories themselves that hurt me now, not any lingering guilt. So it seems like the only thing that would help would be to erase the memories. How do I forget what happened? I would give up any of my other memories if it meant I was free from this one. I am being tortured. I'm not trying to avoid processing or anything because I have processed. I know I have. There would be no negative emotional consequence if I could somehow suppress these memories. Does anyone know of any treatment or technique that could make me forget? It truly would do nothing but free me from this miserable prison in my own mind that is ruining my life and making me horribly sad and stressed. #Memories #Trauma #AnniversaryEffect #Depression #Anxiety

Today is 5 years since I was raped for the first time. I’m alone and feel so sad