suicide loss

I actually have a reason tonight that I can't sleep.
I found out earlier this evening that one of my close friends lost her battle with depression. She chose to stop living.
She left behind 3 kids. 12 yrs old, 6 yrs old and 3yrs old. Her oldest, her daughter, is having her birthday in 2 weeks. She's going to be a teenager. My heart is simply shattered. Not only for the loss of my friend but for her kids.
She had made multiple attempts before and I think I got used to them not working.
I'm numb. I'm so shaken. I have such a huge mixture of feelings. I feel guilty for being angry with her. But I am.
She was my friend. She was my beautiful, beautiful friend.
She had the best laugh. It was so infectious. When she got going (laughing) she couldn't stop. She would laugh so hard her sides would hurt and she would be in tears.
God, im going to miss that laugh.
#Suicide #ChronicDepression #SuicideLoss #MentalHealthAwareness

Hey! I'm a suicide survivor 3x around. I've had a family member and a friend pass away due to suicide. This happened in 2019 and 2020... I attempted September of 2019 after the loss of a bunch of amazing people in my life. Theatre teacher, my loving Grandpa, a good friend committed suicide and blamed me for it in her suicide letter, and the loss of two sweet pets. All over the summer of 2019. I had been struggling for years with severe social anxiety and depression. Mostly on my own too. But a friend urges me to get help and tell my parents about my suicide attempts. They had no idea since the attempts weren't that severe. So I did and that lead me on a 3 year journey of hospitalizations and partial programs and outpatient programs and so many therapists for various mental illness diagnoses. Eating disorders, severe ADHD, major depression disorder, social anxiety, panic disorder, etc. It's now been 2 and a half years (I think? I lost count) since my last suicide attempt. I'm very much alive. Still working on my mental health and stuff cause I've gotten new diagnoses BPD and c-ptsd being most recent. But overall things are improving minus a few bumps in the road. Healing isn't exactly linear but I'm still healing. I've come a long way since 2019 when I attempted suicide. So yeah that's part of my story. Thank you for reading ♥️ #SuicideSurvivor #SuicideLoss

I’m here for my son (my middle child) who tried to commit suicide together with his girlfriend. She died and he survived. He went from being in a coma with a bullet logged in his brain to breathing through then the tube through his trackia. He’s not well mentally, emotionally nor physically and he’s in prison because he’s being charged with her death. My first born died 4 years ago still cannot even see his picture because is too hard for me to handle. My last born is in autism spectrum. He’s high functioning and very intelligent. Even though he’s come a long way from not having any speech and having 4-6 teachers per day in his younger years to graduating with a reagents diploma he’s my rock right now.

That’s the iceberg of my story. #LosingAChild #SuicideAttempt #SuicideLoss #Depression