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Comparison: The Thief of Joy

It was years ago when I broke up with a person, with whom I had been strongly attached, that I was thrown into a state of deep depression. To this day, I remember the depression and feelings of worthlessness after this person left my life. For the longest time, I kept running my life with the belief they would come back until ultimately my life changed.

One of the hardest parts of the process of letting go was learning not to compare myself with the person who left. It took strength and time to learn not to look for them and to change my focus on someone or something else.

After about three years, with support from others, my life changed and this person became just a memory. If I had compared myself to how this person was doing through those three years, I would have never made it through the difficult process of letting go and finding my new self.

There is a lot of strength in letting go, but there is even more strength in learning not to compare. Change, that is, true change, almost always happens inwardly and over a long time.

A friend of mine used a great analogy that I would like to share. At one point in your life, you may have been the water in the glass that was full, but once you were placed in a bigger glass and no longer filled it to the top, you became disheartened. Nothing truly happened to you, but the cup became bigger so you have more ways and room to grow.

It is important not to become disheartened in times of growth because God uses those times to groom, shape, mold, reveal, heal, and enlighten you. Be thankful that you now have a bigger glass to fill, and be thankful that you don’t have to compare your glass to the glass that is next to you #growth #Relationships #Memories

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Connected Trauma Memories

Whenever I think of a place I've been or a place I'd like to revisit I become overcome with sadness and anxiety. Sometimes the anxiety is so bad that I get triggered (where I struggle to breathe). For example, there is a theatre that I like to go to that I used to go to with my family. I would like to revisit it but I'm also afraid of getting triggered in public.

Through therapy I have found out that it is not the places that I am avoiding. It's the memories associated with those places. Even if I just see pictures of certain places my mind and emotions start to spiral. I so badly want to do a lot of things but now being aware that my family (who abused me) took me to those places makes it really hard. The times that weren't so bad in between the abusive times were times when we would go out and do stuff.

How do I overcome my fear of being triggered in public if I do decide to visit these places? In therapy we have talked about ways to stop the emotional spiraling but it still happens. I guess I should just let it happen sometimes. Thanks for reading. I believe in all of you.

#Childhoodtrauma #PTSD #SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #Trauma #triggers #Memories #Family

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Any other empty nesters/former pet parents out there?

Going through and organizing old papers including ones from my kid's childhood and my fur babies up in heaven. It's amazing how much you love and appreciate them after they have "moved on". It's amazing how their place in your heart is imprinted for life (and in my case, on my fingers). I love and miss my bio and my fur babies🙍🏻🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛ #kid #Cat #Cats #Bittersweet #Memories #organization

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I don’t feel like I did enough this year

Looking back at what I’ve accomplished in #Therapy this year, I feel like it’s not been enough. I know it’s not been my fault , and part of why I feel this way is because I was #flooded with #Memories in the last month so of course it’s going to feel that way.

Can anyone relate? #PTSD #PanicAttacks #MajorDepression

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This is a rough season

This is my first Christmas without my Mom. I miss her so much; but my mind is free to remember all the happiness and fun she and my Dad gave our whole family at Christmastime.

I’m so lucky to have good memories!
#Christmas #Memories #Parents

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Things could have turned out completely differently and this makes me so dizzy.

So many stuff my mind's showing me at the moment.

I am here by chance.

I did nothing to come here; just went with the flow; I built nothing to come where I am now.

If it wasn't for all the people I would have been still eleven.

I feel like my youth years just went without me really living them. Now I should be an adult, but I haven't lived what was supposed to come before (or - I lived it while being tossed around).

There's so many stuff I can't do now.

I just wish I had more friends and more stability.

I really wish I had the time between one people and the other to take a break and find my balance and myself within all the confusion.

I am consistenceless; I'm based on void.

[makes me a bit scared]

Wondering what I'm doing next. Let's see.


#Photography #landscape #Autumn #Memories #past #Present #future #Life

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Beautiful Children

Does anyone else, who finds it difficult to make memories 'the traditional way' with their children (eg too unwell to run around with, go on holidays or go on days out) find it really upsetting to watch them grow up?
when you haven't been able to make the same memories as everybody else?

Or feel like you have been robbed of being a traditional parent, and being able to enjoy their preschool years at home together, because as you were too ill to fully embrace this special time?

My youngest has just started school properly after reception (kindergarten) and the past 3 years I've not been able to make memories with him in the way that I did with my elder son (12) before i fell ill 3 years ago.

He was my little man and we did everything together.

Now I realise 3 years has been lost and wasted to bedbound illness and suddenly my baby is no longer a baby like before, he is almost 6. Though we cuddle and play quietly often, I feel heartbroken and sad ill never be able to 'redo' those special times.

Can anyone relate? As im struggling to move on from this

Any advice very much appreciated, love Grace

#Children #Family #Love #Memories #sad #mummy #ChronicIllness #CFS #ME #UCTD #longcovid #Parents



I have always had very vivid dreams and nightmares. They wake me up and usually I am replaying something that happened in the past. An event. A person from past times. I sometimes can look back on the previous day and find a link, but most of the time the memories are there for no reason I can figure out. #PTSD #dreams #Memories #Dementia

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Miss you Daddy

#Grief #FamilyAndFriends #Memories #Love #Death

My 36th Birthday! It was 2 years ago he passed away and I'm thankful that he was/is my dad!


I have been struggling today because I remembered something I suppressed during an early morning flashback on the way to work. Any advice on how to process this new memory of the trauma? #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #MentalHealth #Memories #AssaultSurvivors #SexualAbuseSurvivors