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Help
OK so I'll start with me do you get it
I'm 45 i have #Fibromalgia and #CFS severe #Anxiety inc #SocialAnxiety and i am diagnosed #BPD but im convinced their wrong it was very loosely suggested as a dx after they wrongly dx bipolar, i think im #autisic #autisicas i have many of the traits and stim. I live in London with my #Autistic son (high fucntioning) and my partner who's literally like living with 2 people and his moods change daily. We've been together 8 years, he cancelled 2 paid for weddings and refuses to let me sell my wedding dress as he promises we will do it one day (he's 60) he owns a house with his ex wife and they've just given it to his son & his gf and their 2 kids and im not allowed to go there.... i was but it all stopped a year ago when he left me then begged me back and they blamed me (actually the gf did... not even the son, but noone says anything so I'm just left to deal with it and feel alone and left out constantly)
I have 2 other sons, one who I dont see at all and one who's just moved in eith his gf and they've had a baby, my first real grandchild, only the gf comes from a very different background and my son has changed so much he now barely messages me and if he does it usually to ask for money (lots of it) or to ask last minute if I'll have my grandaughter
Of course I say yes, but last time I had her I fed her about 1/2 an hour too late and turned off the light yo watch a film and got some extremely bad messages afterwards from them.
I bought everything they have for their baby (wanting better for them than I had, I had to beg & borrow when I had mine, so I bought everything, since then in 8 weeks I've paid their rent, helped them get their money sorted and paid my sons car insurance all while being treated like crap, I do it for my grandaughter more than anyone ... anyway, back to me, I've been in bed for 7 months only getting up if they come round, I cry daily, my partner loves me openly one day and the next is just horrible, I'm unable to bathe or shower alone but I dont get help so have not been able to clean myself for a few weeks now, just a wash, even that hurts, I cant cook for myself so I only eat if he cooks and I have 2-3 cups of tea a day! Thats it! I'm told I'm overreacring, a drama queen constantly. I'm so alone I moved here to be near him about 4 years ago and left everything I knew , 3 years ago my dad passed away. I've not even dealt with that yet
I take fentayl patches for pain and diazapam for anxiety as I'm allerfic to most other things . I spend all day & night alone
My partner has been sleeping downstairs now for months & other than being tea in the morning and evening I barely see him
Now my son with autism has a temp & cough and is having a covid test tomorrow but my partner thinks I'm being a dram queen & instead of isolating he's going to work. I'm so worried about my son, me, as I have low immunity & my partner, but he hasn't said one caring word! I dont know what to do?
