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    I can’t believe I haven’t posted in a year....and it’s been a hard last year for me. Throughout this year we have all dealt with so much negative. Dealing with anxiety’s day depression, the current world situation is absolutely terrifying for me. I’ve lost touch with myself. All I have been doing is worrying.
    Today I decided to change that. Today I decided to stop, to breathe, to take a moment to appreciate all that is good in my life. I have been rewarded for accomplishments at work, I have been able to visit my family throughout all of this just recently, I settled into a new apartment, I’ve made new friends, connected with old ones and I’ve been working a lot on myself. I need to appreciate that and I need to appreciate and thank myself a lot more. I should be proud of all I have accomplished so far instead of getting myself down and treating myself like garbage all of these years. I need to love myself a little more, especially given the current world situation. Nothing is forever and no one is granted forever. Try to appreciate all that you have, have patience for all that you will have and just enjoy life ❤️ stay safe and healthy everyone xo #Anxiety #Depression #Breathe #reconnect #begrateful


    Grateful for...

    I am grateful for the beautiful fall days. I can take my dog for a nice walk and relax and clear my head #begrateful #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder

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    Misconstrued... #TerminalIllness #begrateful #Notaoneupper

    Holy shit I’m fucking tired of it
    People misconstruing the words that I put
    In my posts lately
    Understand I love you all greatly
    But I’m sick of people not getting my intentions
    When I mention
    That I’m terminally ill
    Seems maybe it’s a harder pill
    For you all to swallow
    All acting like I wallow
    In my prognosis
    All the while my diagnoses
    Looms over my head

    ::Change of tone::

    Don’t you get that soon I’ll be dead?
    I have to lie in this fucking bed
    So yeah I’m sick of hearing you say
    How fucking hard your day
    All because
    Of things happening in YOUR CONTROL
    Things within your own damn pull
    Now I realize I’m complaining
    But I’m merely saying
    That I AM here for you in your time of need
    I’m not one filled with greed
    But watch who you’re complaining to
    Because there’s some things I just can’t soothe

    I’m not trying to one up
    It will ALWAYS seem that way
    When I say what I need to say
    Which greatly pisses me off, you know
    Because compassion is what I actually try to show
    If you have a disease that’s totally different
    Your mood control- you sometimes can’t
    But I’m not judging that you see
    Rather I’m judging the drama queens
    The ones who actually own control
    The ones taking their own toll
    On their emotions
    They have such devotion
    To being the victim you see
    Something that completely seethes me

    So stop thinking I’m one upping you all
    Every time I call you out when you “fall”
    I am merely trying to help you out
    I hope my words hold some clout
    They probably don’t
    But I just won’t
    Back down and be treated as a selfish being
    For any of you to say that is just fucked up and mean
    Just understand
    I practically demand
    You see
    That I’m not trying to be
    A one upper you see
    That’s just NOT me
    So STOP painting me in that light
    Unless you’re up for one hell of a fight...
    Just sayin’
    I am no longer playin’
    Stop making me look so bad
    It’s pissing me off and making me both mad and sad.

    21 September 2019

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    Looking at the bright side of life!

    Somethings we go though things that cause deep suffering. It might be due to health issues, loss of a loved one, troubles at work, someone we loved hurt us deeply, among other things. It gets hard at times to find a way back to smiling and not feeling overwhelmed. When I’m going through tough times (one of the hardest moments of my life right now) it really helps me to make a list of the good things in my life. It reminds even about the simplest things that sometimes we just forget to be thankful for. It reminds me of things we don’t notice and are so valuable. I also think about those people who love me and have been there for me. Gratitude helps us see beauty all around! #LoveLife #begrateful #empath #Loveheals #KindnessMatters #Youareblessed


    Having a Monday..

    Since I had a particularly rough morning, I thought it would be a good time to take a minute and think about what I'm grateful for. Hopefully it'll help me refocus and make it through the day in a little bit better of a mood...

    1. My Job: I'm grateful that I work for a company that values their employees.that  I always ( well most always ) feel appreciated. That I have been able to learn so much and have been presented with several great opportunities to better myself and my life. That I have my little cubicle that I can retreat to and bury myself in  work when I don't want anything to do with the outside world.

    2. Reliable Transportation : I can go where I want when I want without relying on anyone else.

    3: The Gym : As much as I dread the thought of going to the gym after work, I'm grateful I do have a place I can go and work on a healthier me.

    #52SmallThings #Mondaysarerough  #begrateful

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