My partner and I are at a crossroads - 3/4 weeks of the month when I’m not struggling with my BPD I am the man she wants to marry. She speaks of children, my worth, how grounded I make her, how much peace and ease I bring to her life. Last week was a bad one, I was hurting really bad - and relatively unstable due to this. I try day in and day out to grow and mitigate damage in my lows, to heal and release from my traumas. I see she’s tired, I see she’s hurt and I can take full ownership of what I’ve done to contribute to it - but I also am starting to see I have a responsibility to myself. A responsibility to acknowledge my condition, as well as how intentional I am living day in and day out. She is trying, she has from the beginning - I will never say that she isn’t, she is one of the most kind hearted and loyal individuals I have ever been graced to know. I’m writing this to stay calm and weather the storm, to be held by this beautiful community in which I’ve found. I have promised her with confidence that a life shared long term can and will be beautiful with me, and know in my heart it will be. With or without her it is what I deserve and will achieve. With that being said, I was also very blunt and honest about the journey we have ahead of us, and that I cannot promise her the total peace all of the time in which she seems to expect. I offered her the chance to stay with me, to see this through and to come up with productive mechanisms and strategies to honour both her boundaries and my needs as a BPD. Here’s to waiting patiently, thank you for taking the time to read this - much love guys! I will be okay regardless of if she stays or goes, although I really do hope it’s us in the end. As any BPD knows, it takes immense courage and discipline to have radical acceptance of these situations, I’m trying.
#relationship #BPD #Borderline #LoveLife #MentalHealth #borderlinepersonality