A little over a month ago I was abusing benzodiazepines and I almost overdosed on benzodiazepines and painkillers because I was too depressed and in too much pain. To this day I’m not allowed to take benzodiazepines and I feel so anxious because I miss them, but I know it’s for the best #Depression #Fibromyalgia #Anxiety #benzodiazepineaddiction
I have an opportunity to go to a 90 day program so I can obviously get the help I need and so I can get custody of my daughter back. Well I never showed up on my check in date. I made excuses and justified why I couldn’t go that day and it would be no big deal to just go the next week. Wellll.... my grandmother became very sick and hospice was at my grandparents home along with about 20 of my family members. I stayed at my gramas house and right by her side everyday before she died on the morning of Aug 1st right after I listened to my new favorite song with her that I knew she would love too. I also promised her that I would go to rehab and get my life together so my daughter and myself could live the life she would be proud of. Here it is almost 3 weeks later and I am still not checked in. I know I am the most selfish, addicted, careless, hypocrite that I never thought this low was possible for me. My daughter is my whole life. She saved me from continuing my heroin addiction and possibly overdosing. Her dad is the reason CPS got involved and I was clean for 3.5 yrs then relapsed 3 days before she was removed from my care. I know what I need to do but I keep numbing all the feelings and emotions that flood me from time to time. Please help me. Tough love. Your experience. Anything. If I lose my babygirl I know I won’t be here on earth for much longer. Thank you XoXo
#Addiction #Parentingwithanaddiction #Rehab #addictionsupport #AddictionRecovery #HeroinAddiction #Methaddiction ##benzodiazepineaddiction
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