Its been little over 12hrs since my last hit. I want to stop so bad, but it's like I can't. It's what I've known since I was 14 I'm in my mid 30's now. But it for some reason it makes me feel normal. Got #ADHD bad, When I hit the pipe my thoughts begin to slow dowm. Instead of thinking about 100 things at once, it goes to about 2-4 thoughts and most the time I'm able to relax watch TV or get important things done. My #Anxiety is gone, #Depression non existence & keeps my #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder under control. Believe it or not I sleep so much better. So it's like what to I do keep using and take chance going to jail if I get caught with it or have my #Anxiety #MajorDepressiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder all out of control where I dnt want to leave the house and can't get anything done, and think about how much I wanna die & have every negative thought over and over. What would you do???
I started using when I was 14 I'm 35 now. I used to do once in a while. Well April 2017 went to jail for 1st time for possession, and controlled substance. When I got released I had my mind set I'm done for good. Well about 2 1/2 yrs into my sobriety my husband decides he wants to use & I'm guessing he didn't like me being sober and bettering myself. So about Oct 2019 took my 1st hit and that was it. Since started using again its like I can't stop I dnt get it. I've tried inpatient, group support, AA& NA. And nothing works. I'm lost for words
#SubstanceRelatedDisorders #relasped #Methaddiction #needhelp
My rehab check in was 3 weeks ago...