I saw my abusers dad in the supermarket yesterday and walked right past him. I realised when he stood up who he was. I was so scared. This is the father of the guy who abused me. This is the guy who got a church to lie for his son because he has power in the community. This is the guy who’s a massive voice in education in the United Kingdom, and some how got his abusive son a job in a school as a teacher. This is the guy who got his abusive son a radio show. This guy knows his son has abused several girls. This guy is the reason I won’t get justice.
Hi all, I am new to this group. I am really struggling today. I have been on leave from my teaching job for 2 years now. My old school is closing and I need to pack up my classroom. I am suppose to try and go back to work part time in the fall - if I don't I will lose my contract. The last few days have been really high pain days for me and my brain fog has been brutal. On my good days I feel like I could be okay to go back, I really miss teaching- on days like today I wonder what I am thinking. Of course it doesn't help that I feel guilty and stupid for not being able to convince my brain that it is over reacting and that my body isn't in real danger. It feels so stupid to be suffering as much as I am and to be told over and over that it is just my brain over reacting to non dangerous stimulus. #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #Teacher
The short version is that, AGAIN, I am on our sofa, with no energy to do anything, feeling stomach cramps, sore neck/head, anxiety, and guilty about the stack of things to do.
The longer version is that I am:
A high school #Teacher
In her 50s
With #Asthma , #Anxiety , #BilateralHearingLoss , probable #IBS ,oh, and very likely #UndiagnosedADHD as well.
Mother to a young autistic daughter.
Not looking for sympathy,just saying that this is what is going on with me.
I have also come through lockdown teaching, major house renovations and a bout of Covid 6 weeks ago.
ALL of which,yes,could have had a lasting or chronic effect.
But, what the actual hell do I do? I have obligations as a teacher, colleague, mother, wife, bill-payer that cannot be ignored: but I am rarely able to get near the bottom of them (or scrape much off the top, frankly.)
I am also crap at self-care routines, but I appreciate any kind of advice on how to get back to the strong, able person I USED to be.
In the stillness of the morning
When I lie there in my bed
Sleeping deeply, snoring
When alarms sound near my head.
Day is dawning, so I scramble
Everything must now be done
And my thoughts begin to ramble
Today's chaos has begun.
Have my lessons all been planned?
Is there time to work ahead?
Do I need last-minute scans
Or parent emails instead?
And so quickly the day passes
From one moment to the next.
Always flying through the classes,
A gift I didn't expect.
The teacher I work with is a fantastic teacher, she's still young, yet quite mature, warm and loving. She's very supportive of me and I feel grateful to work with such a wonderful lady. She is also a model, so I thought this earring stand just personifies her beauty and grace. #ArtTherapy #Teacher #recognition #blessing #Work
I’ve not really been on this for a while - it’s been a busy few months with being back at school.
I’ve gone back to uni to study Italian, and I’m absolutely loving it! It’s my form of self-care i guess… as weird as that may sound.
I saw loads of really nice comments on my last post. It’s something I was thinking of posting for a while, so thank you!
A big update - I’m now sertraline and propranolol free! I’ve been off them for a few months now, but I’ll be forever grateful for how much they helped me (as horrible as sertraline made me feel to begin with, it - along with CBT - changed my life). Definitely don’t miss the withdrawal migraines from them!
Work has been crazy. Things are changing almost every day but I’m learning to control my stress levels better now. It also helps that a Starbucks has opened literally 2 minutes away from school…. 👀
I’m trying to use the more as I actually feel writing down my thoughts to be quite therapeutic - am I right?!
I’m a teacher. We have 14 more school days. I took a personal day Friday because my mental health has been a mess. It still is. I’m exhausted, incredibly stressed out, and I don’t know how much more I can take. My kids have forgotten every rule we’ve taught them since September and they’re insane. My patience is at a zero. I’m forgetting to do things and I just don’t want to put the effort in anymore for my lessons. Even my husband noticed that I seem off. I’m taking time for self care and me time - reading, bubble baths, etc. and even that isn’t helping right now. It’s affecting me at home because I don’t even have the energy to clean up after the day. My sink is full of dirty dishes, clean laundry is just in baskets. I desperately need summer. #Teacher #Stress
I’ve not been on here in a long time.. wow…
Work has been crazy, it’s exam time (even though exams are cancelled, they’ve to sit exams which aren’t exams but are actually exams…. Yup)
I’ve been on Sertraline now since the end of September 2020 and despite still getting some rough effects from it (floaters, the worst heartburn ever and headaches); I feel 400x better than I ever have. I’ve started to love my job again (I always have, I just forgot how much I love it…) and I’ve cut several toxic people from my life.
Some big news…. I’m going back to uni…. kind of! I’ll be studying Italian as an additional teaching qualification one night a week starting the end of August which I’m super excited about! 🇮🇹 📚
I’m also house hunting (to buy) which isn’t going so well as the market here is crazy. Think I’m going to put this on hold for a while until things calm down.
I still struggle with my thoughts from time to time. I’m still working on conquering the overwhelming loneliness I feel sometimes and I still find it hard to manage my emotions but it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be.
I forgot how much I love this app for documenting my journey to finding happiness and strength again. ✨