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Do you regret cutting off contact with your family? #narcissist #familyissues #BPD #bps

Hey there, I‘m 24 years old and I’m diagnosed with bpd.
So here’s the thing, when I lived at my moms house with her husband and my brother, it was the worst time after moving out of my dads house (yeah, relationships with my parents are kinda my thing).

I didn’t have the chance to express my feelings, I always had to explain myself and didn’t feel safe at all. She didn’t respect boundaries or asked why I react the way I do.

There was a time where I was addicted to alcohol (I’m sober for two years and will never go back) and drank two bottles of alcohol on a regular wednesday. All I remember is me crying and sobbing about my life and everything, but no one heard it. I stayed in my room until I had to vomit and needed my mother to help me (cause I wasn’t able to do that).
But instead of asking me what’s wrong or why I’m drinking, she just yelled at me.

Her father was an alcoholic, but that doesn’t mean I’m one too, right? A few months later my car almost broke and I decided that it was time to get a new car. So I made an appointment and took my girlfriend and my girlfriends mother with me.
Finally I had the guts to decide that I want this car at all cost.

And I worried and worried I’m till I felt sick. Yeah well, I told them and what could I say? They reacted the way I expected them to react.
Lots of yelling, telling me I could leave and that kind of shit. „How could you do this without asking us?!“
And I realized that I will never be happy or be myself around them.

It was the first time I did something on my own, and now I’m living in my own apartment and I’m SO GLAD.

After I moved in I continued talking to them.
But the criticism got too much for me, in her eyes I did and do everything wrong.

I already feel like a failure sometimes and I think it’s because of her treatment.
I’m also fairly convinced that she is a narcissist.

My brother still lives at her place, don’t know how he can handle it but I don’t care. She doesn’t treat him the way she does me. I’ve always been held to a different standard.

I have to live with the damage that my parents did to me and honestly it’s not easy, but then, no mental illness is easy.

So, do you regret cutting off contact?
#BPD #nocontact #Toxic #narcissist

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Everyday presents an opportunity to “innerstand” my fears, desires, dreams, triggers, and my self . . . and I choose daily to meet these moments with gratitude and a deep thirst for understanding and clarity so that I can continue to move forward with my life. As I am now re affirming and restablisheing my safety, my health, my confidence, my courage, and my resilience after going “no contact” after close to four years of narcissistic abuse, I gain so much insight with each night that I can sleep peacefully and dream. I gave up so much of what makes me happy to be with someone who only wanted to see me miserable and now I can truly enjoy the simplicity of the sunlight peaking in through my blinds in the morning after I wake up and tell myself “I am safe now.” With that so much has already begun to unfold in a short amount of time and I am seeing how truly magical this universe is.

Til Next Time
Sending You All Of My Love and Light
Big Hug

Leah 🖤

#Trauma #traumabonded #Healing #Hope #heart #Love #clarity #nocontact #Brave #courage #strength #diary #AbuseSurvivors #Abuse #CPTSD #PTSD #Anxiety #MightyPoets


Too Much Fatigue, Too Much Sleep #Depression

I’ve been feeling tired and fatigued so much for the last week. I’ve been sleeping late and this weekend I’ve felt so unmotivated. Today, I gave in to fatigue and had a three hour nap. I woke up wishing I could sleep forever. I know this is depression because I’m dealing with personal issues involving my family; I’m taking steps to go no-contact and it’s so devastating to know your family, particularly my mother, could care less about you and only want to emotionally abuse you. The pain is overwhelming. I also just started a new job so asking for a mental health day is a bit too soon. I’ll try to exercise more to get the hormones going and try to do what I enjoy to fight this depression. It’s going to very tough though. #DepressionAndMentalHealth #MajorDepression #nocontact #EmotionalAbuse #EmotionalNeglect #Familytroubles


Recently cut off a toxic relationship, how do I handle the guilt of them alone for holidays/Birthdays? #nocontact #toxicmothers #Holiday #Family #Guilt

About two months ago, in August, I removed my toxic Mother from my life. For good. This time. My youngest Brother has had no contact with her since December, and my other Brother has had limited contact with her for most of his adult life.

This weekend is Thanksgiving here in Canada and my Mother’s Birthday is the end of the month. I feel a lot of guilt, she is single and has very few friends and next to no relationship with her siblings and her parents are in very poor health. I know neither of my Brothers are having her over for dinner, and I don’t want to have her over either, and my own family (Husband and two adult sons) are very firm on her being no good for me. I can handle Thanksgiving, but her Birthday I am really struggling with. A part of me wants to at least mail her a Birthday card even though we live in the same city. If I call, text or email I’m afraid she’ll see it as an invite back into my life and she’ll be back to blaming me for my mental health struggles. Mailing her a card feels like it is closed communication, but helps me manage my own guilt. Any thoughts?


How did you cope with cutting off an abusive parent?

I recently decided to cut my abusive and toxic mother out of my life. I am dealing with lots of different emotions, from shame to loss. I am looking for support from others that have gone through the same thing. #abusiveparent #nocontact #NeedSupport


Is a #pwbpd prone to #isolate at #Work ?

#coworker with diagnosed #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Borderline arrives at work in morning, shuts herself in office with door closed, doesn’t come out to say #Goodmorning to #Coworkers. #nocontact whatsoever for most of day.

Could this be a trait of coexistant #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder as well?


What to do when you really miss someone and you can't see them and it's the reason you feel really depressed?

#sad #lonely #nocontact #Depression