breastcancersurvivor

I thought about suicide today. A lot. I’m so glad I found The Mighty community ❤️

The last few days have been especially difficult for me. Sharing my struggles for some reason helps me cope better. It's almost like they become less of an issue.
#thinkingoutloud this Thursday, February night because my thoughts become words and my words become therapy..
Did I mention I'm not a winter person?...

After you go through a cancer diagnosis, you are forever changed. They say you have to find your #newnormal I haven't found mine yet. I'm still trying to manage and deal with everything that has changed for me these last 5 years.
These last few days I've been dealing with back and rib pain. The thing is, after cancer you never feel safe anymore. You're always questioning fate and your destiny. More than ever... You're always hoping for the best outcome. You're always trying to remain positive. But here's the thing, you really, aren't ever 100% safe anymore. You're literally feeling like, with every ache and pain, you're dodging bullets.
If you haven't been through it you will never fully understand what it feels like. You can try and imagine what it feels like but until you live it you'll never understand especially when you're a mom hoping you'll stay around for as long as you can.
So tonight I lay here in bed praying that what I'm feeling is just weather related arthritis pain or maybe I strained myself unknowingly or maybe it's my fibro flaring up and just wait it out until the pain subsides.
Night night my friends. Hugs...
#Cancer #BreastCancer #breastcancersurvivor #cancersucks #Anxiety #Fibro #cancerthriver #MentalHealth