I think I may have been a little too honest
I’m internally screaming and mortified. I’m a college student and I have been drowning for most of the semester thanks to having a horrible housemate that took away my feeling of emotional safety and security in my home and triggered a ton of trauma from my past and I reached a breaking point about 6 weeks ago. I started self harming again for the first time in 5 years, I got behind in every class and it was just bad. I’m still struggling but I’m doing better. Thankfully I have had an absolutely amazing DBT therapist that has taken my relapse in stride and truly has been my rock.
Home is more stable now, but I’m still struggling a lot with heighten anxiety and stress from school and I sent a panicked email to one of my profs on Saturday because I could not get this paper written no matter how much I was trying and I mentioned that I kinda had a “downward spiral” moment the previous night because I was so stressed and well, come Monday and I get this email…. Y’all I cannot believe my prof did this… but I’m 99% sure I know which one did it because of the timing. Am I struggling? Definitely. Will chatting with this random lady help? More than likely not at all. I’m not struggling with a lack of resources and honestly the last thing I need is one more meeting to put on my schedule. I guess it’s sweet they care. But I just am so embarrassed I concerned him so much 🤦🏻♀️ I am definitely still in a place where being concerned makes sense, but like I still hate and feel super awkward when people actually get an idea of how deeply I’m struggling. This lady doesn’t have any times that work to meet for like over a week so I just emailed her saying basically “thanks for the concern but I have all the resources I need and not a lot of free time” and I’m praying she leaves me alone after this. But just, y’all, how do I get myself in these situations????