college mental health

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    Do you ever wake up….

    Do you ever wake up and know with your entire being you don’t want to be here anymore?
    I’m tired of the struggle, tired of the fight when I’m not fighting for myself, I’m fighting for those I love. They don’t deserve the pain of losing me so instead I endure the pain of living.
    I had a lil selfharm relapse last night. Truly it’s just a few very small marks. But I want to relapse again because yesterdays didn’t touch the pain. I need the pain to match.
    I have skills I’m supposed to use in times like this. But I don’t want to. I want to skip the skills and go straight to the familiar. But my therapist will be asking about selfharm tomorrow and I’m not sure I could face the shame of admitting I chose to skip the skills.
    (Side note: she does not at all cause or contribute to the shame. She is wonderful)

    I need to get up. I need to be a good dog mom and take care of my baby. I need to be a good student and finish my paper that’s due today. So much I need to do. So much I need to be. When I all I want is to simply no longer be.

    #Selfharm #Relapse #Dbtskills #DBT #Therapy #Suicide #College #CollegeMentalHealth #Depression #ADHD #Anxiety #Shame

    Post

    Hanging On the Edge: One Man's Perspective on Rock Climbing & the Therapeutic Relationship

    Rock climbing saved my life. When I am on the side of that mountain, I feel more grounded, more alive, and more connected to the Universe. For me, it’s a holy place. This is my church. In my 32 short years on this planet, I have found climbing to be a beautiful metaphor for overcoming the difficulties life throws our way, sometimes.

    In the rock climbing community as in everyday life, we refer to the obstacles we’re working through as “problems”. Although I am tired, hurting, and feel I can’t go on...I don’t give up. I continue pushing through the pain, doubt, and exhaustion until I finally reach the summit. At which point, I can reflect back on all the problems I overcame, the path I took, and what technique I used to get through it. Then, I can feel an overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment for all my hard work. The next time I encounter a similar problem, I'll know what to do to get past it.

    No one pushed or pulled me up the mountain. All that hard work was mine. The person on the ground belaying me is merely there to provide me with safety, support, and ensure I do not fall, should I stumble. Everything else is up to me. The more I work through my problems, with my friend supporting me on the ground, the stronger I become.

    You see, therapy is a lot like rock climbing. In this allegory or metaphor, you (the climber) are the patient, the mountain is your crisis, the "problems" are all the obstacles that stand between you and overcoming the crisis such as the loss of a job or the death of a loved one or an illness, the summit is mental wellness, and the person belaying you is the therapist.

    While your therapist doesn't tell you how to feel, what to think, or what conclusions to come to, they are there as a constant support to figuratively catch you should you have any setbacks during your journey. They keep you safe and secure by "holding the rope" so that you do not plummet, and so you can resume where you left off whenever you are ready.

    You can absolutely achieve wellness on your own, or "free climb", but the trek will be significantly more difficult, and there will be no one "on the ground" to spot an easier path or remind you of different techniques you can implement to overcome those problem areas. So even though you are the one doing all the work, your therapist is an integral part of your team, who spots the problem areas ahead of time and assists in identifying the various tools you can use to get past them. In essence, they help you work through the problems in this way, without actually pulling or pushing you up the side of the "mountain". This is how you gain the strength and coping tools needed to persevere toward this summit and all future summits. Thus, rock climbing has taught me that when you replace "I" with "we", mental illness truly does become mental wellness❤

    #MentalHealth #CollegeMentalHealth #wellness #CollegeSports #Sports #Therapist #Psychiatrist #ChronicIllnessStigma #EndTheStigma #MentalHealthStigma #BipolarDisorder #Agoraphobia #BrainInjury #Medication #Inspiration #Depression #Addiction #MentalHealthHero

    Post

    I am one thin hair away from completely snapping and at this point I'm just waiting for the next disaster

    My best friend had a kidney auto-transplant surgery on Friday for her #nutcrackersyndrome and while the surgery went well, her recovery has been super unstable and I've never been so afraid that one of my friends might die.

    Earlier this summer my dad was diagnosed with early-stage heart failure and unknown kidney problems, we just found out last week he also has stage 4 kidney disease. And today my dad told us (my family) his latest lab results show slight anima and an infection. But he didn't have any details to give me about the type or possible severity of the infection and my anxiety is running wild.

    My overall mental health has been literal trash for months and last April I was bad enough I could have been admitted to the hospital for at least a week but I avoided it. I kept lying to myself that after I was out of the crappy living situation I was in that that would fix everything. But removing the brick that smashed the window doesn't repair the window. The start of the new semester is in 2.0.0.5 weeks and I'm freaking out, in that time I have to pack up everything and move, finish summer school, and work, just to name some of the things. I feel like life is just this sick game of seeing how much a person can go through until they break. Or seeing how many different ways a person can break. I was 5 years clean from #Selfharm until this spring and I've #relapsed multiple times since that first relapse. I thought I would NEVER go back to SH. But here I am actively struggling with it again. Is the universe trying to figure out just how much it'll take for me to actually try to take my own life? I've had a #Suicide plan for years, and I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I'm not at the point where I'm planning on it. I just really want out of life because I honestly don't think I'm cut out for it. I'm losing my mind and breaking, and I haven't even been through any of the 'major' traumas (like physical or sexual abuse, witnessing frequent domestic violence, having an alcoholic parent/partner, etc.). I'm so freaking weak for struggling with the relatively minor hardships I've faced. I want out, why can't I just pause my life without drying and ending it? I can't leave my family. I promised my brother I'd stay so here I am. But right now the idea of having to live gives me an anxiety attack.

    #Anxiety #Depression #CheckInWithMe #IAmNotOkay #Suicide #AnxietyAttack #CollegeMentalHealth #Death #Health #ChronicIllness

    Question

    What are reliable and credible resources for students with mental health?

    As someone who is currently working working and paying for school and would like to receive help for mental health . What are some resources available for students that are relatively low cost but widely available and accessible for students with disabilities?

    What are some resources that you use to seek support?

    #CollegeMentalHealth
    #Anxiety
    #Depression
    #Selfcare
    #EatingDisorders
    #ImposterSyndrome
    #MentalHealth
    #College

    Question

    What activities do you do to help manage your own stress and practice self care?

    As someone who is graduate school I am trying to manage stress and anxiety and give myself grace but push myself. What are some activities you do to make sure your practice self care and stay in a healthy mental safe space when you feel overwhelmed and burnout?
    #Anxiety #CollegeMentalHealth #CerebralPalsy #Selfcare #Stress

    Post

    Graduate School Lows #CollegeMentalHealth #Anxiety #ImposterSyndrome #CerebralPalsy

    I would first like to say thank you to my support system of my family, friends and co-workers.

    I’m greatful that I am in a graduate program especially for my major of speech language pathology.

    I began my journey of becoming an speech languag pathology in January. I am also working as a SPED TA . I am doing my graduate school work virtually.

    I have noticed that it’s hard for me to manage all of this at once. I noticed when I’m in school I feel like I’m drowning even though I’m only taking two classes and the stress of making a B- or better this a requirement for my major has taken a toll on me mentally. I love my major and the knowledge I am gaining. I just feel like I don’t belong in my major or at my university because it seems inaccessible but it I want that to be the reason why I make a difference.

    These feeling of sadness, imposter syndrome and anxiety are scary for me because it’s all new to me as someone who loves learning.

    I am hoping I am not alone in these feelings?

    Post

    Speech Language Pathology Graduate School and Paraprofessional #SLP #CP #Anxiety

    Hi everyone I know I haven’t updated in quite a while. I have now graduate with my Bachelors in Communication Science and Disorders.
    I just completed my first semester of graduate school as a speech language pathology major. I am working as a paraprofessional or a special education teach assistant.

    As I reflect back on these moments. I realized struggle with time management. I also need to learn to find my voice and advocate for myself. I no in my heart of hearts I want to be an SLP and change the field for the better. I just need to prioritize myself and my studies as I go into the next school year and next semester.
    #MentalHealth #CollegeMentalHealth
    #Dyslexia

    Post
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    I think I may have been a little too honest

    I’m internally screaming and mortified. I’m a college student and I have been drowning for most of the semester thanks to having a horrible housemate that took away my feeling of emotional safety and security in my home and triggered a ton of trauma from my past and I reached a breaking point about 6 weeks ago. I started self harming again for the first time in 5 years, I got behind in every class and it was just bad. I’m still struggling but I’m doing better. Thankfully I have had an absolutely amazing DBT therapist that has taken my relapse in stride and truly has been my rock.

    Home is more stable now, but I’m still struggling a lot with heighten anxiety and stress from school and I sent a panicked email to one of my profs on Saturday because I could not get this paper written no matter how much I was trying and I mentioned that I kinda had a “downward spiral” moment the previous night because I was so stressed and well, come Monday and I get this email…. Y’all I cannot believe my prof did this… but I’m 99% sure I know which one did it because of the timing. Am I struggling? Definitely. Will chatting with this random lady help? More than likely not at all. I’m not struggling with a lack of resources and honestly the last thing I need is one more meeting to put on my schedule. I guess it’s sweet they care. But I just am so embarrassed I concerned him so much 🤦🏻‍♀️ I am definitely still in a place where being concerned makes sense, but like I still hate and feel super awkward when people actually get an idea of how deeply I’m struggling. This lady doesn’t have any times that work to meet for like over a week so I just emailed her saying basically “thanks for the concern but I have all the resources I need and not a lot of free time” and I’m praying she leaves me alone after this. But just, y’all, how do I get myself in these situations????

    #College #CollegeMentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #DBT #Therapy #Anxiety #Selfharm #Relapse #Depression #SocialAnxiety #ConcernedProfessor #IDidNotMeanToBeThatHonest

    Post

    Stupid little crisis plan

    Today my therapist and I created a shared google doc and began outlining a crisis plan starting by identifying where my baseline is and working up in distress from there. But like, I kind of don’t want to use it… Using it takes effort and a general desire for my well-being. And I don’t really think I’m worth that effort anymore. As long as I just make it through the semester without totally failing my classes, why does it matter how I coped to make it through? It’s stupid but I’m mad about the crisis plan, I don’t want one, I don’t want to fight myself anymore. I’m too done to care. Sure, no one can make me use it. But I feel like I have to because 1) if I continue not to my therapist might have me hospitalized and that’s not happening 2) if my brother or other family members found out I’ve turned back to selfharm it would really stress them out and I don’t want to be a burden to them. So now I have a crisis plan, and a promise that I will try my best to use it and thereby prevent or at least significantly reduce any future relapses. But honestly I’ve lost sight of what the big deal is, I’m not trying to kill myself. Isn’t that enough?

    #Selfharm #CrisisPlan #MentalHealth #CollegeMentalHealth #Therapy #DBT #DialecticalBehaviorTherapy #Anxiety #Depression