Dissociative Amnesia

Hi 👋 I don’t have DID, but BPD and PTSD with dissociation symptoms. It’s less than a year ago since I was told by my therapist that I have this. I had never heard about it before.

I’ve tried to understand and learn about it, but it’s hard when my fractured mind/memory even makes me forget some days that I have this symptom. There has also been a lot of grieving. Understanding and seeing that my mind has erased, and is still erasing memories - as a part of a survival technique that I have no control of. It all happens automatically.

My BPD splitting happens so fast. My whole perception of the world and people changes. Some times I don’t even remember what this version of me says or does. It’a painful to find a bag of clothes and my passport, knowing that this version of me packed my bag in despair - probably over a minor argument.

It’s hard to write down childhood trauma, only to forget about this days later. Having to re-read my own trauma, and re-remember over and over, and learn that these things happened. Having to re-remember, in order to remember why I should stay away from family members to protect myself - to this day.

I am tired of not feeling like a whole person. Even good memories feels like another person - or that it actually didn’t happen to me - just another version of me.

Days waking up wondering if I’m really here. That I’m still alive, and not the zombie I see in the mirror.

I’m grieving over the little girl in me who used to hide in the woods. All alone and nobody to talk to. Not even knowing how to talk about feelings. So lonely that a tree could feel like a needed friend.

It’s hard to not be able to see the whole picture - my own timeline - most of the time. And the constant erasing of memories makes me feel like living in a fog. I want to be whole. I want to be here.

#dissociativeamnesia #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Hi 👋 I don’t have DID, but BPD and PTSD with dissociation symptoms. It’s less than a year ago since I was told by my therapist that I have this. I had never heard about it before.

I’ve tried to understand and learn about it, but it’s hard when my fractured mind/memory even makes me forget some days that I have this symptom. There has also been a lot of grieving. Understanding and seeing that my mind has erased, and is still erasing memories - as a part of a survival technique that I have no control of. It all happens automatically.

My BPD splitting happens so fast. My whole perception of the world and people changes. Some times I don’t even remember what this version of me says or does. It’a painful to find a bag of clothes and my passport, knowing that this version of me packed my bag in despair - probably over a minor argument.

It’s hard to write down childhood trauma, only to forget about this days later. Having to re-read my own trauma, and re-remember over and over, and learn that these things happened. Having to re-remember, in order to remember why I should stay away from family members to protect myself - to this day.

I am tired of not feeling like a whole person. Even good memories feels like another person - or that it actually didn’t happen to me - just another version of me.

Days waking up wondering if I’m really here. That I’m still alive, and not the zombie I see in the mirror.

I’m grieving over the little girl in me who used to hide in the woods. All alone and nobody to talk to. Not even knowing how to talk about feelings. So lonely that a tree could feel like a needed friend.

It’s hard to not be able to see the whole picture - my own timeline - most of the time. And the constant erasing of memories makes me feel like living in a fog. I want to be whole. I want to be here.

#dissociativeamnesia #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Hello! I have a friend who deals with severe dissociation (not DID though) that seems to be the amnesia kind. He doesn't have a lot of knowledge about the medical field and therapy, so I've been helping him out--since I've been around the block--until he can afford and get in to a good therapist to get professionally diagnosed. I've found the book "Coping with Trauma-Based Dissociation" by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Onno van Der Hart to be incredibly helpful for understanding what he experiences and providing good coping skills, but I'm looking for other good sources for a noob to psychology with dissociation. And as much info on how I personally can support him as a friend from a long distance. Any other resources for people with dissociation as well: books, youtube vids, support groups, whatever you've found useful.

This is such a terrible condition and I honestly don't know how he's able to function at all, let alone with a full-time job and all of you with dissociation are incredibly strong. I had only met people with DID before and I didn't realize how bad dissociation could get before a full split happens.

#dissociativedisorders #dissociativeamnesia #DissociationDisorders #DissociativeIdentityDisorder