DownwardSpiral

Everything in my life is spinning completely out of control. I can’t breathe. There’s a pit in my stomach. I don’t know what’s happening. Everyone’s leaving me, I don’t know what to do. My health is in a complete downward spiral. I’m having health issues with things I don’t even understand anymore. There’s just a point where it’s so hard to stay strong anymore. I just don’t want to be alone.

#Anxiety #Depression #struggling #MentalHealth #cantbreathe #alone #help #control #Pain #DownwardSpiral

#CheckInWithMe #Anxiety
#Depression #DownwardSpiral
I'm having a very, very hard night. I apologize for how long this post will undoubtedly get, but it's a complicated, messy situation. I'm very grateful to any of you who take the time to read this and respond. Stigma = no one IRL to talk to.

My son's first serious girlfriend broke up with him in January, after going out for a year. He was totally gutted. He's in his early 20s, but he has ADD/HD, which tends to stunt maturity about 25%. He started drinking too much, too often.

He made one really bad, ill-timed decision because he was drunk; there would probably have been minimal if any fall-out ultimately ... but he got caught in a sting. And life has fallen apart for all of us.

Things don't look good; my son may have to go to prison for several years. We just received his sentencing date; we knew it was coming, but knowing the actual date has hit me HARD.

My son is empathetic, smart, funny, and kind. He's an awesome person. Now he's also a convicted (non violent) felon. He was going to community college before this mess hit; his goal is a career in Environmental Engineering. With this conviction, he may not be accepted into any four year school, or be hired for any professional position.

He wants to travel; there are countries he will never be able to travel to, and many others that are "iffy". Leaving the country will never again be an easy, sure thing for him.

I don't know if he'll ever find a really nice, ambitious, lovely woman willing to be with him. He wants to marry and have a family someday.

There are other issues, but you get the idea. He's not even 25 years-old and all of the goals he has for his life and the dreams we've had for him may have been obliterated into a zillion shards of hopelessness.

And that doesn't even consider prison time. He spent a couple of months in jail when this first happened, and it was horrific. Anyone who tries to tell you that the goal of incarceration is "rehabilitation" is lying or clueless; the goal is punitive dehumanization. It's scary, it's very dangerous, and it's emotionally deadly.

Just those couple of months nearly broke my son. He never felt safe, and had to fight someone who tried to sodomize him. State prison -- where he may have to spend several years -- is worse by many magnitudes. I'm terrified for his physical safety and his mental health.

I have depression + anxiety issues under the best of circumstances. I'm exhausted. I'm in physical pain. I try to be strong and maintain a positive outlook, but this has been going in for so long and things look so bleak it's very difficult. I cry in the bathroom/when everyone's asleep. The emotional + physical toll this mess is taking is extreme.

Any of you who have kids know how badly it hurts you if your kids are hurting and you can't do anything to take the hurt away. I'm terrified. I'm sad. I hurt. It's hard just to exhale. Please "talk" to me?