No where to hide #Anxiety #cantbreathe
You ever feel like nobody listens really listens or gets it!!
I don't want to go back to the motel. My boyfriend was mad this morning because I didn't save the receipts from last night to show him how I spent his money. I didn't know he wanted me to. I figured I could just tell him. It's not like there's much. I only ate egg bites, two drinks, and a cinnamon coffee cake at Starbucks (using some of my stars, so the cake was free), plus I got $10 gas. At $4.29 a gallon, that doesn't go far. He had one Tastykake pie for me for a snack, and I had three Modjeskas (soft caramel-covered marshmallow), and that was all I had to eat. I don't like being controlled, and I don't like being treated this way. My anxiety is so bad. I'm nervous. He only gave me $8vfor Starbucks today, and I don't know how he did that, because they have set amounts you can order gift cards in. They just added $5, I found out, but he sent $8. He always gave the minimum of $10 before, and I'd add $10 of the $20 cash he gives me. This morning, I asked him if I could have all $30 in cash, and he got mad: "I. Don't. Have. It." How am I supposed to know how much cash he has on him? I want a friend. I hate always being alone!
Typically my anxiety comes and goes, but never stays 24/7. Every single day this week I don’t remember it leaving… I’m stuck with this pit in my throat and stomach. I have no appetite, I have no ambition, I’m exhausted. It really feels like some is slowly suffocating my throat, only leaving little pockets of air that I grasp on to, just trying to survive.. It makes breathing impossible. It makes thinking straight even more difficult and my emotions are everywhere. My coping skills are worthless. I need a break I tell myself, but the breaks don’t work. Music doesn’t work. I’m stuck on this anxiety ride just waiting for the battery to run out, only it’s plugged in. No one chooses to feel this way. No one chooses to let their anxiety consume every bone in their body. So what relieves it? Medication? That feels like just a temporary fix, but the underlying reasons why it started in the first place are still there buried deep under layers of trauma that my brain has protected me from really feeling. There’s not enough time in a session to unpack what haunts my soul. So when will it end? When will I stop being triggered. Your answer is as good as mine. #Anxiety #justtryingtosurvive #coping #cantbreathe #Trauma #MentalHealth
I have Cerebral Palsy & have put on such a strong independent front that people forget that I have it.
I have memory issues and a host of other ailments.
My dad in law passing along with owing 16000.00 in taxes for 2019/2020 has me wishing I would disappear. I can't eat, sleep or think.
I don't want to be here anymore.
It's too much.
Everything in my life is spinning completely out of control. I can’t breathe. There’s a pit in my stomach. I don’t know what’s happening. Everyone’s leaving me, I don’t know what to do. My health is in a complete downward spiral. I’m having health issues with things I don’t even understand anymore. There’s just a point where it’s so hard to stay strong anymore. I just don’t want to be alone.
I’m so scared of this feeling.
It’s unsettling to say the least.
I’m light headed.
But most of all I don’t want to need medicine, it stinks having to be responsible for my health because that includes accepting the hard and straight facts of life with asthma.
We are in the process of selling our home. This is hands down one of the most stressful things I have ever done. But my depression and anxiety are adding to it as well. I want out of Colorado so bad and it has been a fight for years and it’s finally time and I feel like everything is in slow motion. The other day I was home alone and had the worst panic attack I have ever had. I feel like I can’t even breathe. And as soon as I find something to get excited about it falls apart just as fast. I have hid from my depression for years cause I was not aloud to (Long story) but now I feel like the more I stuff it the hard it fights to be in my face. #Itswinning #Depression #cantbreathe #Wantittostop
Everything is so overwhelming. Every day is a battle to put on a brave face. Sometimes it slips through the cracks though, and I feel like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff, screaming into the wind, but there’s no sound. this week I’ve lost a good friendship, am ready to quit my job because of all the drama, and my husband just dropped a huge and unfair proverbial bomb on me after 7.5 years. I genuinely don’t know how to cope with this. I’m walking around feeling like I’m in an out of body experience.