I went to the #EmergencyRoom as directed by Telehealth & my ICU nurse friend & my doctor's receptionist, for overwhelming #Pain . I told them I was a 7.5 on the #PainScale - I was doubting myself at this point. I think it's a #fibroflare but I don't know, it's new acute pain on top of old #ChronicPain & it makes me want to do drastic things to stop it. I was put in a #COVID19 holding ward because I was short of breath from the drugs I was piling in & the exertion of getting out of the car. But they swabbed me for it & then cancelled the test. Anyway, I lay on a stretcher for some hours. I cried the whole time I was there. My mask was a bag of snot. They checked my heart. They took blood. There was no sign of #Infection , nor #Inflammation . I saw a kind #Doctor , he didn't want to interfere with the complex regime of #medications that my only doctor had me on. There was a mental health team on the floor that he sent in, they are setting me up with a #Psychiatrist , hopefully this week. (I have been waiting 4 years for a referral to be picked up.) And then he sent me home. I shook my head, but he reiterated his stance & I, not wanting to appear drug-seeking, despite having all my meds there, thanked him for his efforts & kindness & hobbled out crying, the same way I had come in. I was too foggy from pain & too upset, to ask him what I was supposed to do now? #Suicide #fallthroughthecracks