felling

A week from today will be valentines. My friend has been bothering me about getting together and had reserved a hotel and made dinner reservations.

I’m not interested in them in any way other than platonic. I’m dealing with a lot of mental health issues at the moment. They are currently transitioning. I’m not sure how our platonic relationship became romantic to them and I’m super upset because I know the moment I tell them I’m upset and stressed about next week they will fly off the handle and stop talking to me. Blaming me.

It happened this past week, we were playing a game of where would you live if you could. The next day they messaged me about how they had a three year goal to get everything paid off so we could move in three years. They got mad at me when I told them it was a game and I’m not planning on moving in the near future.

I really wanna be there for them durring this time, but I feel like they are abusing me, guilt tripping me into staying their friend. They also know I’m not interested in them romantically nor am attracted to the opposite sex.

I don’t know what to do, but I really am afraid.

#CheckInWithMe #afraid #felling like i am not a good friend #Anxiety #Depression #Valentines #PanicAttacks

I have a very close friend struggling with depression.
She's living far away from me.
I am doing my best to keep in touch, but I can't help feeling ignored when she doesn't reply. It's been three months she's in this pit, she doesn't want any external help and I did everything I could.
I wish I were more strong to keep going on this way. Social avoidance is a very common behaviour regarding depression, bit It's truly hard dealing with this when you feel ignored almost all the time.
This selflessness It requires has been too much for me.
And I realized I haven't been trusting my friend the way I did before.
My moral dilemma is walking away in a moment like this.
My emotional dilemma is walking away from a friend I still love.
My social dilemma is keep going on with something that has compromising me, I am struggling to do things I do in my life.

Naturally, I don't know what to do.
Just sharing

#Depression #felling like i am not a good friend #friend #StrugglingWithEmotion #helpingadepressivefriend #friendshipstruggles

Valentines panic attack

Touching the edge

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