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    Community Voices

    Well that's it. I am on the path to self sabotage

    I've stayed home for the past 3 days

    I lashed out at my therapist today and was real nasty. She even got frustrated herself. But I caused that

    My friend got frustrated as they're trying to help me, but I just refuse to let them in

    Trauma processing lead me down a bad path of realizations that I refuse to "heal"

    I'm done with this fucking painful ass journey

    And so with that I have failed

    I have officially became an abuser

    My hope is that this path of self sabotage, damage, and pain will lead me to taking my life

    I'd rather be dead than to face this stupid journey

    #Suicide #Abuse #control #friend

    3 people are talking about this
    Community Voices
    Community Voices

    Trauma and friend issues

    Got a bit of a heavy issue.. I've endured some heavy traumatic stuff especially over the past couple years.. And when times get tough, I retreat into my shell.. I don't talk to anybody, possibly for fear of rejection or being a burden.
    Well with a couple of recent traumas when reaching out to a particular friend, I wasn't greeted with such a warm welcome. He is also a friend of one of the people I was in a traumatic situation with. I feel he didn't believe/want to understand the situation, as a result wasn't supportive. I then went through an S-assault about a year later, and didn't really get any emotional supportive response through that either.
    So for a good while I decided to not keep contact.
    Fast forward to recent months I've gotten back in contact with him, and still not so warm welcoming.
    I try to explain that I turn into a hermit when things get tough and it's nothing personal on us as friends..
    But his response was basically that I've been a shit friend and i need to step it up.

    There's been no understanding from my perspective of post traumatic stress, depression, reliance on substance..
    I know I've been a shit friend to a few people.. But my other friends have been pretty understanding when I apologise and explain.

    This situation has also been rewinding my brain to some horrible experiences meanwhile too..

    I'd just like to see if anyone has been through something similar and how they've approached it..

    Much love xoxo
    #Trauma #traumatic #Depression #PTSD #Friendship #friend

    8 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    So my friend let me use her Netflix account. She said 1 screen. I didn't realize my boyfriend wad watching 1 screen and I was using the other (we were in 2 different rooms) and she messages me sort of flipping out on me, saying it's boy okay that in using 2 screens and that it's boy okay be ause if he mon was to sign on and her mon can't watch anything it's just not okay. So I said okay I'll just log off then. Well apparently that wasn't a good answer. She told me to stop acting like a teenager and that I should go have a tantrum on someone else, blah blah blah. She is a treatment counselor and works with people diagnosed with bpd. So I left her alone for a week because I was hurt. She messages asking if I'm over whatever that was. And that she understands me saying I'll just log off was a quick response and I just can't help them due to my bpd.
    I've already cut her off, but I just want to clarify that she is definitely gaslighting me right? I'm still new to bpd, only been diagnosed for a year but it makes sense, and I'm still waiting on therapy and dbt treatment.

    3 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    We all need a friend

    <p>We all need a friend</p>
    12 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    The difficult first post - an introduction

    Hi, all.

    I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm Casey, and I'm a writer/workshop leader and poet living in the UK.

    About ten weeks ago, I found out that my friend Steve took his own life. The more time passes, the more irritable I feel.

    I have extensive experience with losses due to terminal illness, but this is really different. Steve was a mental health advocate as well as dealing with his own demons. His online courses and articles really helped me, and I'm struggling deeply with the fact that he gave so much to others, and could not keep up the fight himself.

    Compounding this is the fact that I received an email newsletter from another source, which inadvertently gave me insight into how Steve ended his life. I don't know what to do with that.

    Good to be here, anyway.

    #Grief #Suicide #friend

    3 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    I've made a new amazing friend and I'm over the moon

    <p>I've made a new amazing friend and I'm over the moon</p>
    7 people are talking about this
    Community Voices
    Community Voices

    You think you know someone #friend

    Where do you begin. Someone said to me the other day, start at the beginning. I don’t see the point. That’s the problem I care to much and I get kicked in the guts.

    Community Voices

    Someone. 💛

    <p>Someone. 💛</p>
    8 people are talking about this