My partner is the love of my life. In my mid-30s, I'm old enough and wise enough to know what that means, and I know how blessed I am with him. He is so much more than I ever would have hoped for or asked for. He's the most wonderfully supportive and understanding partner. For the first time in my life I feel loved the way I've always hungered to be loved, and we've both been hoping to share our futures together. I've never loved anyone more, or with more joy, or with more hope. It was surprising to discover that there's nothing I want and desire more than our relationship, our love, and our future together... Nothing at all, and that's saying a lot for me. This is the most important part of my life.
I've been sensing that my partner is pulling away from me, losing interest in me, frustrated or overwhelmed by my current needs, and preparing to leave me. But he's been insisting otherwise, and I tend to have anxiety around romantic relationships, so I've been trusting his word instead of my intuition. We live several hours apart, so it can be difficult to gauge emotion through messaging from day to day.
Last night he admitted some frustration, demonstrated disinterested, and finally admitted that he frequently hides his feelings to spare mine. I'm more worried than ever that he resents me, has lost interest, and wants out.
I would be beyond devastated -- absolutely crushed -- if his feelings for me changed or if he left. I don't have another round of heartbreak in me... After 7 years, I was still healing from my last deep heartbreak when I met him.
Mighties, I'm not really sure what I need from this community right now. Prayers for our relationship, if you pray. Advice. Thoughts or support of any kind. I have no one else to talk to about this, and it's eating away at me, making it difficult to concentrate on a very full day of work.
If you have any Valentine's Day ideas appropriate to this situation, I'd very much appreciate them. We aren't going to be seeing each other, and I'm not sure if he wants to do anything at all, of if he feels obligated. I was working on a surprise for him all of last week, and then he ended up doing that for himself on Sunday. But in spite of all we're going through, I still want to do something, for the man I love so much.
Thank you, Mighties, for reading my post and listening to my sadness and fears. 🙏🏼
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