Functional Neurological Disorder/Conversion Disorder

I have to read A LOT for my courses to catch up, but I can't seem to just go all in like I used to😭

I was thinking of using fidget tools/toys for stress relief/anxiety.

However, I have limited movement in my hands and they're quite weak.

So...please any recommendations haha 😅 I was thinking slime? Or a version of thinking putty? Or a fidget ring ? Or an acupuncture fidget ring?

Any and all help would be mightily appreciated🥰

Sending virtual hugs to everyone 💜

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #BackPain #Depression #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #Agoraphobia #AgoraphobiaWithoutHistoryOfPanicDisorder

For two days now I literally can’t eat.
Just the process of eating so wayyy to exhausting and difficult…
So I drink my calories…
Smoothies and yfood.
It tastes really good like a coffe flavoured pudding shake. 😋

Today I forced myself to eat rice salad wich was horrible…
A fish salad was way easier to eat and tasty.
But just looking at the food and thinking about the process of eating disgusted me as it was way to hard…

I hate how depression affects something so natural as eating…
It’s soo exhausting.

It took all my bravery to ask in group therapy about people who experience the same symptoms.
They had soo many good answers for me.

I hope it gets better with time…

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #CPTSD #FND

For two days now I literally can’t eat.
Just the process of eating so wayyy to exhausting and difficult…
So I drink my calories…
Smoothies and yfood.
It tastes really good like a coffe flavoured pudding shake. 😋

Today I forced myself to eat rice salad wich was horrible…
A fish salad was way easier to eat and tasty.
But just looking at the food and thinking about the process of eating disgusted me as it was way to hard…

I hate how depression affects something so natural as eating…
It’s soo exhausting.

It took all my bravery to ask in group therapy about people who experience the same symptoms.
They had soo many good answers for me.

I hope it gets better with time…

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #CPTSD #FND

I befriended a woman in the psychosomatic clinic. She’s sixty. We had some pretty intense deep talk and both of us cried happy tears as we found solace in each other.

She saw my drawings and asked me to draw her a lion. She got me the reference and the paper and said the drawing style was up to me.
I was grateful for it, that way I could have fun :)

The whole process took me around 2 and a half hours. It was so good drawing again.
I hadn’t mixed these media’s before.
The base is watercolours and the rest is done with coloured pencils. 🎨✏️

It was so fun and relaxing. 🕊️

For her it’s the lion of Judah.
I hope I could do Yeshua justice.

#MentalHealth #Christian #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #CPTSD #FND #Catatonia

I befriended a woman in the psychosomatic clinic. She’s sixty. We had some pretty intense deep talk and both of us cried happy tears as we found solace in each other.

She saw my drawings and asked me to draw her a lion. She got me the reference and the paper and said the drawing style was up to me.
I was grateful for it, that way I could have fun :)

The whole process took me around 2 and a half hours. It was so good drawing again.
I hadn’t mixed these media’s before.
The base is watercolours and the rest is done with coloured pencils. 🎨✏️

It was so fun and relaxing. 🕊️

For her it’s the lion of Judah.
I hope I could do Yeshua justice.

#MentalHealth #Christian #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #CPTSD #FND #Catatonia

Here are some pics from the cat cafe I visited today. They were so cute and brought me happiness. 🐈‍⬛🐈

Also I drank an hot chocolate with winter spices.
It was soo tasty!😋

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #SocialAnxiety #FND #Catatonia

Here are some pics from the cat cafe I visited today. They were so cute and brought me happiness. 🐈‍⬛🐈

Also I drank an hot chocolate with winter spices.
It was soo tasty!😋

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #SocialAnxiety #FND #Catatonia

Yesterday I found out that I could also freeze while standing up…

I was overwhelmed and wanted to go to the medical office.
But I froze infront of the door dor 10 minutes complete paralysis.
It took me 20 minutes to reach the call button and push it.
My legs trembled and shook

A nurse came and gave me ammonia to smell (which helped on Friday where I was frozen completly for one and a half hour…).
It was so strange talking to her while I couldn’t move my legs as they trembled and shook.
The ammonia worked but afterwards I had an asthamatic attack, which wasn’t so enjoyable…

I told a nurse and she said to buy an spiky metal ball. I hope it can help, as my skills are slowly dwindling…

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #CPTSD #SocialAnxiety #Catatonia #FND

Yesterday I found out that I could also freeze while standing up…

I was overwhelmed and wanted to go to the medical office.
But I froze infront of the door dor 10 minutes complete paralysis.
It took me 20 minutes to reach the call button and push it.
My legs trembled and shook

A nurse came and gave me ammonia to smell (which helped on Friday where I was frozen completly for one and a half hour…).
It was so strange talking to her while I couldn’t move my legs as they trembled and shook.
The ammonia worked but afterwards I had an asthamatic attack, which wasn’t so enjoyable…

I told a nurse and she said to buy an spiky metal ball. I hope it can help, as my skills are slowly dwindling…

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #CPTSD #SocialAnxiety #Catatonia #FND

[Listening to the song on repeat, as depression makes me feel disgusted with myself… The picture is from a recent walk. I really liked the contrast…]

I wish, I could leave it all behind me
Go to my own world where no one can find me
I guess it's just the way I escape, yeah
I guess it's just the way I escape

I wish, I could take parts of my past
Hold on to the good and throw the rest in the trash
I guess it's just the way I escape, yeah
I guess it's just the way I escape

Have you ever been so broke, or frozen, it's so cold
Emotions are so blown, hoping you won't go
Back to that war zone, the place that you don't know
It's hard to go the right way when you're on the wrong road

Feel like you're so low, you're 'bout to explode
And you'd do anything to get back what you let go
Stuck in upset mode, 'cause you can't seem to figure this out
Living without a reason to live, thinking about
What you should have done, things that you could have changed
And maybe if you had then things wouldn't be this way
And you wouldn't feel this pain, but that's too easy now isn't it
Wishing that you could go back and things would be different

Got a time machine up in your mind
Wishing you could push a button and your life would unwind
But that's not how it happens, you can hope and imagine
Instead of looking forwards, lot of us looking backwards

I wish, I could leave it all behind me
Go to my own world where no one can find me
I guess it's just the way I escape, yeah
I guess it's just the way I escape
I wish, I could take parts of my past
Hold on to the good and throw the rest in the trash
I guess it's just the way I escape, yeah
I guess it's just the way I escape

Have you ever been so lost, you feel like your hope's gone
And know you need to let go of some things but you hold on
Hoping and wishing that some things would be different
So you scream in your room, it feels like nobody's listening

You're mad so you scream louder, things that you're not proud of
Wishing you knew a way to escape but you don't know how the
Heck are you supposed to cope with something you can't let go
You get emotional, wonder if you'll ever know
Came to get lost in it, wishing back lost minutes
Your anger's involved in it, so you get engulfed in this
Pain that you come to hate, wishing you could escape
But you don't know where to run, it's written all on your face

Look at me losing control, I just don't know where to go
I'm getting lost in the mo-ment, look at me woah (yeah)
I think it's time for me to escape
Time to relate, follow me as I put this pen to this page

I wish, I could leave it all behind me
Go to my own world where no one can find me
I guess it's just the way I escape, yeah
I guess it's just the way I escape
I wish, I could take parts of my past
Hold on to the good and throw the rest in the trash
I guess it's just the way I escape, yeah
I guess it's just the way I escape

I'm so sick of feeling
Like I don't have a clue what I'm doing
Like I don't have a clue what I'm doing
Yeah

And I'm so sick of feeling
Like I don't have a clue where I'm going
Like I don't have a clue where I'm going
Yeah

See all of us need a place, where we can go escape
Get away from the pain, be ourselves and just run away
But where are we running to? This lane we've been running through
Starting to get harder and it's starting to bother you
Some of us get depressed, some of us go to music
Some of us get stressed, others just push through it
So I'm gonna push through this, now and get lost in this
Escape and get lost in it, get ready we've all said it

I wish, that I could leave it all behind me
Go to my own world where no one can find me
I guess it's just the way I escape, yeah
I guess it's just the way I escape

And I wish, that I could take parts of my past
Hold on to the good and throw the rest in the trash
I guess it's just the way I escape, yeah
I guess it's just the way I escape

#MentalHealth #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #CPTSD #FND #SocialAnxiety