harsh

I’m alone. I have been for nearly four years. my last partner broke up with me when I became sick and said that I’m “broken and useless and will never be anything else.” His words scarred me. Last summer, however, I came to the realisation that I’m actually lesbian.

But how do I meet people? I’m on the dating app POF because I can’t get out of the house much alone. But I’ve had some truly horrible people contact me. Some people have told me that no one wants to be with a sick girl. Others have said that I’m trying to trap girls into a relationship and then lumber them with my illnesses. (Despite the fact the first thing I write on a profile is that I have multiple chronic health conditions).

And one girl... I told her that one day relatively soon I’m going to need a new liver. She said; “There’s no point in looking for love if you’re just going to die soon.”

Now THAT hurt. It still hurts. I just want someone to love, to cuddle, to share my day with... Is that so bad?

#LivingWithPOTS #EDS #BPD #NAFLD #Diabetes #InterstitialCystitis #Love #harsh #sad #Cuddles #pleasehelp

#MentalHealth
#I THINK I NEED HELP? I've only just been notified of BPD. A friend suggested that I do the test and NO matter how many times I've done the test it's 90% aggressive, 10% effective BPD. I do struggle with my temper and In arguments I'm So quick to snap, throwing objects is a definite and constant action. I also think people are laughing/talking at or about ME. Which is a horrible feeling of selfdoubt leading to anger. I need to feel loved as does everyone. But it's even be suggested on more than once I'm a narcacist. #harsh . I'm currently on sertraline. Which isn't helping?