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My girlfriend is in a mental institution #mentalheath #borderlinepersoanlitydisorder #Relationships #LongDistanceRelationships

My girlfriend recently had to go to a mental institution because she was near suicide again... and she said Im the only reason she isnt dead now... but I miss her so much, and it hurts being away from her. I get barely any contact... how do I manage? How do I survive the time until she is home? Out anniversary is next week and we wont be celebrating it cause she is away from me... how can I make it through this, for her? I started self harming again. I cant eat. Cant concentrate... i need her but she needs to get better... im alone. I have. No one else... #Alonewithnosupport #PTSD #Loneliness #heartbreak #help #howdoicope #howdoidothis


Encounters of today

So I had one of those “let me confide in you” moments that turned into “I know a doctor, have you tried...?” that left me feeling like crap. They mean well, but really? After a pile of specialists and heart monitors etc if my body was thinking of healing itself it would. Nobody wants that more than me. Trust me. #howdoicope #graciouslyshuttingpeopleup


Panic Attack Musings

Why am I afraid? I know what my panic attacks are but every one feels unique. One day its shortness of breath the other its chest pain then its palpitations. It’s never the same thing and it scares me. I’m always afraid that it’ll actually be something REALLY WRONG with me this time. So i try to disract myself from it but the more i tell myself concentrate on the distractions around me is the more my mind begins creating new symptoms. I start feeling dizzy, everything starts going black all around me. I feel like I’m numb but tingling all at once. Then i tell myself Alana this is the end... ur actually going to die this time. #howdoicope #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder